HOW MANY MALE CHAUVINISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
None. Let the woman do the dishes in the dark.
WHAT IS LOVE?
The delusion that one woman differs from another.
WHY DID GOD CREATE LESBIANS?
So feminists couldn't breed.
WHY CAN'T YOU TRUST WOMEN?
How can you trust something that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die?
WHY DO WOMEN WEAR MAKE UP AND PERFUME?
Because they're ugly and they smell.
WHY DO MEN FART MORE THAN WOMEN?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
WHY DID CAVEMEN DRAG THEIR WOMEN AROUND BY THE HAIR?
If they dragged them around by their feet, they'd fill up with mud.
WHY IS A WOMAN LIKE A LAXATIVE?
They both irritate the poop out of you.
WHAT'S WORSE THAN A MALE CHAUVINIST PIG?
A woman who won't do as she is told.
WHAT IS IT CALLED WHEN A WOMAN IS PARALYZED FROM THE WAIST DOWN?
Marriage.
WHY DO MEN DIE BEFORE THEIR WIVES?
They want to.
WHAT IS A WIDOW?
A woman who has lived for so long, that her husband has died from it.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WOMAN WITH PMS AND A ROTTWEILER?
Lipstick.
HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO FIX A VACUUM CLEANER?
Why should we fix it, we don't use the stupid thing.
WHY ARE WOMEN LIKE SCREEN DOORS?
Once they get banged a few times, they loosen up.
WHAT IS A WIFE?
An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.
HOW ARE WOMEN LIKE PARKING SPACES?
The best ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
WHY DO WOMEN HAVE BREASTS?
So men will talk to them.
WHY DO WOMEN CLOSE THEIR EYES DURING SEX?
They can't stand to see a man having a good time.
WHAT'S SIX INCHES LONG, TWO INCHES WIDE AND DRIVES WOMEN WILD? A
hundred dollar bill.
WHY DO WOMEN HAVE PERIODS?
Because they deserve them.
WHY DID THE WOMAN CROSS THE ROAD?
Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen anyway?
WHY DO WOMEN RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
Because they don't have balls.
