Lamento enviar estos chistes sin traducir, pero la falta de
tiempo... Advierto que algunos pueden estar pasados de punto; eso
depende del gusto de cada uno.
--
Fernando Guzman
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
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A little old lady had two monkeys for years. One day one of them died
of natural causes. In grief, the second monkey passed away two days
later. Not knowing what to do with them, she finally decided to take
them to the taxidermist and have them stuffed.
After telling the owner of her wishes, he asked her, "Do you want them
mounted?"
Blushing, she said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
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A young punker gets on the crosstown bus. He's got spiked,
multicolored hair that's green, purple and orange. His clothes are a
tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's without
shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and
his earrings are big, bright feathers.
He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from and man who
just glares at him for the next ten miles. Finally, the punk gets self
conscious and barks at the old man. "What are you looking at you old
fart......didn't you ever do anything wild when you were young?"
Without missing a beat, the old man replies: "Yeah. Back when I was
young and in the Navy, I got Really drunk in Singapore and screwed a
parrot. I thought maybe you were my Son."
N.E.: Yo lo que creo es que el hijo del viejito lo tenemos aqui en
Macondo.
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A Boy In A Saloon
A six-year-old boy walked into a saloon and said to the barmaid,
"Give me a Scotch on the rocks."
"You're just a kid," said the barmaid. "Do you want to
get me in trouble?"
"Maybe in a couple of years," replied the boy. "But in
the meantime, I'd still like that Scotch."
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Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the
other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month,
I'm going to lose my f***ing ass."
Then he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away.
Immediately, he apologized for his bad language.
"That's okay," she said, "If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm
going to lose my f***ing car."
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Politician on the Porch
This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells,
"Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Democrat
on my front porch and he's playing with himself."
"What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a damn Democrat on my
front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and
I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.
"Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?"
"Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwing
somebody!"
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Payment
That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord
because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a
neighbor.
"You didn't do it, did you?"
"I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might
add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid
up for six months!"
