Colext/Macondo
Cantina virtual de los COLombianos en el EXTerior
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Me lleg� este cuestionario. Como yo no tengo hijas sino hijos, entonces
se lo paso a l@s MaColExtian@s que tengan hijas y no hijos... ;o)=
PANG
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APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, driving
record, lineage, and current certified medical report (including drug
tests) from your doctor.
1. NAME _________________ DATE OF BIRTH _________
2. HEIGHT ___ WEIGHT ___ I.Q. ____ G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK___________________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS _________________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE
parent?______________________________
If No, EXPLAIN
____________________________________________
7. Number of years your parents have been married
________________________________
8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______ A
waterbed? ________
Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo?
_____________________
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises)
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
______________________________
10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to
you?
___________________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
_______________________
12. Church you attend _____________ How often do you attend?
____________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and
priest/rabbi/minister? _____________________________________________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers
are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone, ever, I promise.)
a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is
___________________
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
__________________________
c) A woman's place is in the _______________________________________
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
______________________
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is
_________________________
( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave
premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is
advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? ____________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE
BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT
POKERS.
________________________________________
Signature( That means your name, moron)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please
do not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before
your application is approved, automatic disqualification will result. If
your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen
wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch
your back).
Do you still want to date my daughter?:
_____ Yes, please accept my application
_____ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house...
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