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Two engineering students were
walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great
bike?" The second replied, "Well, I
was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode
up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take what you want." The first nodded
approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit." A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George. Say, what's with that
group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they? " The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
Then the pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And
I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can
do for them." ===========================
Several years later the company
had a seemingly impossible problem with one of their multimillion dollar
machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work
but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had
solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the
challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he
marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated,
"This where your problem is." The engineer responded briefly:
================================ What is the difference between
Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? ============================== The graduate with an Engineering
degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting
degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" One said, "It was a mechanical
engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical
connections." The last said, "Actually it was a
civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational
area?" An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time
with his mistress, because of the Passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a
wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other
woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done. He bent over, picked up the frog
and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said,
"If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you
for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do
ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is
the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for
a week and do anything The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
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