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via Sex News 

time for horror stories !

masturbation horror stories !

(this week men's, next week women's)

http://www.thestranger.com/2001-10-25/savage.html

All masturbation horror stories that sounded like
urban legends were discarded, as were all stories
involving parental discovery. Stories that involved 
simple discomfort, bearable humiliation, or short-term
inconvenience didn't make the cut. But by far the largest
category of disqualified stories (more than a thousand)
were from people who burned themselves masturbating with 
BenGay, Vick's VapoRub, Nair, Sea Breeze, Old Spice, 
dandruff shampoo, Flexall 454, Preparation H, toothpaste, 
hands that recently handled jalapeno peppers or poison 
ivy, microwaved tomatoes, cantaloupes, watermelons, etc. 
Some of these holy-shit-I-burned-my-dick/twat stories 
were highly entertaining, it's true, but ultimately 
they were too commonplace to be all that interesting. 

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