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-Project Gutenberg's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
-
-
-Title: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
-
-Author: Lewis Carroll
-
-Posting Date: June 25, 2008 [EBook #11]
-Release Date: March, 1994
-[Last updated: December 20, 2011]
-
-Language: English
-
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND ***
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND
-
-Lewis Carroll
-
-THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I. Down the Rabbit-Hole
-
-Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the
-bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the
-book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in
-it, 'and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice 'without pictures or
-conversation?'
-
-So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the
-hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure
-of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and
-picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
-close by her.
-
-There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so
-VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear!
-Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it
-occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time
-it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH
-OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on,
-Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had
-never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch
-to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field
-after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large
-rabbit-hole under the hedge.
-
-In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how
-in the world she was to get out again.
-
-The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then
-dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think
-about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep
-well.
-
-Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had
-plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was
-going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what
-she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she
-looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with
-cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures
-hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as
-she passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great
-disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear
-of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as
-she fell past it.
-
-'Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this, I shall
-think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at
-home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top
-of the house!' (Which was very likely true.)
-
-Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! 'I wonder how
-many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. 'I must be getting
-somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four
-thousand miles down, I think--' (for, you see, Alice had learnt several
-things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this
-was not a VERY good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there
-was no one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over)
-'--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude
-or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, or
-Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.)
-
-Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH the
-earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with
-their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think--' (she was rather glad
-there WAS no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the
-right word) '--but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country
-is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and
-she tried to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling
-through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) 'And what an
-ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to
-ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'
-
-Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began
-talking again. 'Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!'
-(Dinah was the cat.) 'I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at
-tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are no
-mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very
-like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice
-began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy
-sort of way, 'Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, 'Do
-bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question,
-it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing
-off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with
-Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, 'Now, Dinah, tell me the truth:
-did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon
-a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.
-
-Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment:
-she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another
-long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it.
-There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and
-was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, 'Oh my ears
-and whiskers, how late it's getting!' She was close behind it when she
-turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found
-herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging
-from the roof.
-
-There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when
-Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every
-door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to
-get out again.
-
-Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid
-glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's
-first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall;
-but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small,
-but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second
-time round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and
-behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the
-little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!
-
-Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not
-much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage
-into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of
-that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and
-those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the
-doorway; 'and even if my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, 'it
-would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could
-shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only know how to begin.'
-For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately,
-that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really
-impossible.
-
-There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went
-back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at
-any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this
-time she found a little bottle on it, ('which certainly was not here
-before,' said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper
-label, with the words 'DRINK ME' beautifully printed on it in large
-letters.
-
-It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was
-not going to do THAT in a hurry. 'No, I'll look first,' she said, 'and
-see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; for she had read several nice
-little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild
-beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they WOULD not remember
-the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot
-poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your
-finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never
-forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison,' it is
-almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.
-
-However, this bottle was NOT marked 'poison,' so Alice ventured to taste
-it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour
-of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot
-buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off.
-
-  *    *    *    *    *    *    *
-
-    *    *    *    *    *    *
-
-  *    *    *    *    *    *    *
-
-'What a curious feeling!' said Alice; 'I must be shutting up like a
-telescope.'
-
-And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face
-brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going
-through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however, she
-waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further:
-she felt a little nervous about this; 'for it might end, you know,' said
-Alice to herself, 'in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder
-what I should be like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a
-candle is like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember
-ever having seen such a thing.
-
-After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going
-into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the
-door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she
-went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach
-it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her
-best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery;
-and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing
-sat down and cried.
-
-'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself,
-rather sharply; 'I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally
-gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it),
-and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into
-her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having
-cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself,
-for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people.
-'But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, 'to pretend to be two people!
-Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person!'
-
-Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table:
-she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words
-'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. 'Well, I'll eat it,' said
-Alice, 'and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it
-makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll
-get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!'
-
-She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 'Which way? Which
-way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was
-growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same
-size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice
-had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way
-things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on
-in the common way.
-
-So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.
-
-  *    *    *    *    *    *    *
-
-    *    *    *    *    *    *
-
-  *    *    *    *    *    *    *
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II. The Pool of Tears
-
-'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that
-for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); 'now I'm
-opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!'
-(for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of
-sight, they were getting so far off). 'Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder
-who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure
-_I_ shan't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble
-myself about you: you must manage the best way you can;--but I must be
-kind to them,' thought Alice, 'or perhaps they won't walk the way I want
-to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.'
-
-And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. 'They must
-go by the carrier,' she thought; 'and how funny it'll seem, sending
-presents to one's own feet! And how odd the directions will look!
-
-     ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.
-       HEARTHRUG,
-         NEAR THE FENDER,
-           (WITH ALICE'S LOVE).
-
-Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'
-
-Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was
-now more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden
-key and hurried off to the garden door.
-
-Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to
-look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more
-hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again.
-
-'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great girl like
-you,' (she might well say this), 'to go on crying in this way! Stop this
-moment, I tell you!' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of
-tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches
-deep and reaching half down the hall.
-
-After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and
-she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White
-Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in
-one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great
-hurry, muttering to himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess!
-Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so
-desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit
-came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, 'If you please, sir--'
-The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the fan,
-and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go.
-
-Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she
-kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: 'Dear, dear! How
-queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual.
-I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the
-same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a
-little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who
-in the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began thinking
-over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself, to
-see if she could have been changed for any of them.
-
-'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such long
-ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't
-be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a
-very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I, and--oh dear, how puzzling
-it all is! I'll try if I know all the things I used to know. Let me
-see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and
-four times seven is--oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate!
-However, the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography.
-London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and
-Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for
-Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' and she crossed her
-hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it,
-but her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the
-same as they used to do:--
-
-     'How doth the little crocodile
-      Improve his shining tail,
-     And pour the waters of the Nile
-      On every golden scale!
-
-     'How cheerfully he seems to grin,
-      How neatly spread his claws,
-     And welcome little fishes in
-      With gently smiling jaws!'
-
-'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and her eyes
-filled with tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel after all, and
-I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to
-no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I've
-made up my mind about it; if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no
-use their putting their heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I
-shall only look up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then,
-if I like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here
-till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a sudden burst
-of tears, 'I do wish they WOULD put their heads down! I am so VERY tired
-of being all alone here!'
-
-As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see
-that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while
-she was talking. 'How CAN I have done that?' she thought. 'I must
-be growing small again.' She got up and went to the table to measure
-herself by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now
-about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found
-out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped
-it hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.
-
-'That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at the
-sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence; 'and
-now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed back to the little door:
-but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was
-lying on the glass table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,'
-thought the poor child, 'for I never was so small as this before, never!
-And I declare it's too bad, that it is!'
-
-As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash!
-she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she
-had somehow fallen into the sea, 'and in that case I can go back by
-railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in
-her life, and had come to the general conclusion, that wherever you go
-to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the
-sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row
-of lodging houses, and behind them a railway station.) However, she soon
-made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she
-was nine feet high.
-
-'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying
-to find her way out. 'I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by
-being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer thing, to be sure!
-However, everything is queer to-day.'
-
-Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way
-off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought
-it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small
-she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a mouse that had
-slipped in like herself.
-
-'Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, 'to speak to this mouse?
-Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very
-likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in trying.' So she
-began: 'O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired
-of swimming about here, O Mouse!' (Alice thought this must be the right
-way of speaking to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, but
-she remembered having seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, 'A mouse--of
-a mouse--to a mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') The Mouse looked at her rather
-inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes,
-but it said nothing.
-
-'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I daresay it's
-a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.' (For, with all
-her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago
-anything had happened.) So she began again: 'Ou est ma chatte?' which
-was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a
-sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright.
-'Oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt
-the poor animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'
-
-'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. 'Would
-YOU like cats if you were me?'
-
-'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be angry
-about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you'd
-take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet
-thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the
-pool, 'and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, licking her paws and
-washing her face--and she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's
-such a capital one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried
-Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she
-felt certain it must be really offended. 'We won't talk about her any
-more if you'd rather not.'
-
-'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his
-tail. 'As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family always HATED
-cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!'
-
-'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of
-conversation. 'Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' The Mouse did not
-answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 'There is such a nice little dog near
-our house I should like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you
-know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things when
-you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts
-of things--I can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer,
-you know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! He
-says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful
-tone, 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was swimming
-away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion in
-the pool as it went.
-
-So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we
-won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!' When the
-Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its
-face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low
-trembling voice, 'Let us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my
-history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'
-
-It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the
-birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a Dodo,
-a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the
-way, and the whole party swam to the shore.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
-
-They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the
-birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close
-to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.
-
-The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a
-consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural
-to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had
-known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the
-Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, 'I am older than
-you, and must know better'; and this Alice would not allow without
-knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its
-age, there was no more to be said.
-
-At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
-called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you
-dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse
-in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt
-sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
-
-'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This
-is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William
-the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted
-to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
-accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
-Mercia and Northumbria--"'
-
-'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.
-
-'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: 'Did
-you speak?'
-
-'Not I!' said the Lory hastily.
-
-'I thought you did,' said the Mouse. '--I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar,
-the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand,
-the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable--"'
-
-'Found WHAT?' said the Duck.
-
-'Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: 'of course you know what
-"it" means.'
-
-'I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said the
-Duck: 'it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the
-archbishop find?'
-
-The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, '"--found
-it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the
-crown. William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his
-Normans--" How are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning
-to Alice as it spoke.
-
-'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't seem to
-dry me at all.'
-
-'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I move
-that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic
-remedies--'
-
-'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of half
-those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And
-the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds
-tittered audibly.
-
-'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 'was, that
-the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'
-
-'What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know,
-but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak,
-and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.
-
-'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as
-you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell
-you how the Dodo managed it.)
-
-First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ('the exact
-shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed
-along the course, here and there. There was no 'One, two, three, and
-away,' but they began running when they liked, and left off when they
-liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However,
-when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again,
-the Dodo suddenly called out 'The race is over!' and they all crowded
-round it, panting, and asking, 'But who has won?'
-
-This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought,
-and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead
-(the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures
-of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said,
-'EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.'
-
-'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked.
-
-'Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger;
-and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused
-way, 'Prizes! Prizes!'
-
-Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her
-pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had
-not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one
-a-piece all round.
-
-'But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.
-
-'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. 'What else have you got in
-your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.
-
-'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.
-
-'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.
-
-Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly
-presented the thimble, saying 'We beg your acceptance of this elegant
-thimble'; and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered.
-
-Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave
-that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything
-to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she
-could.
-
-The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and
-confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste
-theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back.
-However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and
-begged the Mouse to tell them something more.
-
-'You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, 'and why
-it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half afraid that it
-would be offended again.
-
-'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and
-sighing.
-
-'It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at
-the Mouse's tail; 'but why do you call it sad?' And she kept on puzzling
-about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was
-something like this:--
-
-         'Fury said to a
-         mouse, That he
-        met in the
-       house,
-     "Let us
-      both go to
-       law: I will
-        prosecute
-         YOU.--Come,
-           I'll take no
-           denial; We
-          must have a
-        trial: For
-      really this
-     morning I've
-    nothing
-    to do."
-     Said the
-      mouse to the
-       cur, "Such
-        a trial,
-         dear Sir,
-            With
-          no jury
-        or judge,
-       would be
-      wasting
-      our
-      breath."
-       "I'll be
-        judge, I'll
-         be jury,"
-            Said
-         cunning
-          old Fury:
-          "I'll
-          try the
-            whole
-            cause,
-              and
-           condemn
-           you
-          to
-           death."'
-
-
-'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. 'What are you
-thinking of?'
-
-'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to the fifth
-bend, I think?'
-
-'I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
-
-'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking
-anxiously about her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!'
-
-'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up and walking
-away. 'You insult me by talking such nonsense!'
-
-'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily offended,
-you know!'
-
-The Mouse only growled in reply.
-
-'Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after it; and the
-others all joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but the Mouse only shook
-its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker.
-
-'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite
-out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her
-daughter 'Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose
-YOUR temper!' 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab, a little
-snappishly. 'You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!'
-
-'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing
-nobody in particular. 'She'd soon fetch it back!'
-
-'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said the
-Lory.
-
-Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet:
-'Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice you
-can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why,
-she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!'
-
-This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the
-birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very
-carefully, remarking, 'I really must be getting home; the night-air
-doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to
-its children, 'Come away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!'
-On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.
-
-'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a melancholy
-tone. 'Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best
-cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you
-any more!' And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very
-lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard
-a little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up
-eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming
-back to finish his story.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV. The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
-
-It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking
-anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard
-it muttering to itself 'The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh
-my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are
-ferrets! Where CAN I have dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a
-moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves,
-and she very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were
-nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her swim in
-the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and the little door,
-had vanished completely.
-
-Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and
-called out to her in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what ARE you doing
-out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan!
-Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at once
-in the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the mistake it
-had made.
-
-'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. 'How
-surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd better take him
-his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.' As she said this, she
-came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass
-plate with the name 'W. RABBIT' engraved upon it. She went in without
-knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the
-real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the house before she had found the
-fan and gloves.
-
-'How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, 'to be going messages for
-a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages next!' And she
-began fancying the sort of thing that would happen: '"Miss Alice! Come
-here directly, and get ready for your walk!" "Coming in a minute,
-nurse! But I've got to see that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't
-think,' Alice went on, 'that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it
-began ordering people about like that!'
-
-By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table
-in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs
-of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves,
-and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little
-bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no label this time
-with the words 'DRINK ME,' but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it
-to her lips. 'I know SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said
-to herself, 'whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what
-this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for really
-I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'
-
-It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had
-drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling,
-and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put
-down the bottle, saying to herself 'That's quite enough--I hope I shan't
-grow any more--As it is, I can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't
-drunk quite so much!'
-
-Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and growing,
-and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there
-was not even room for this, and she tried the effect of lying down with
-one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round her head.
-Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out
-of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself 'Now I
-can do no more, whatever happens. What WILL become of me?'
-
-Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect,
-and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there
-seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room
-again, no wonder she felt unhappy.
-
-'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't
-always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and
-rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and
-yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what
-CAN have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that
-kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!
-There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I
-grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a sorrowful
-tone; 'at least there's no room to grow up any more HERE.'
-
-'But then,' thought Alice, 'shall I NEVER get any older than I am
-now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman--but
-then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!'
-
-'Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. 'How can you learn
-lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no room at all
-for any lesson-books!'
-
-And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making
-quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard
-a voice outside, and stopped to listen.
-
-'Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. 'Fetch me my gloves this moment!'
-Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was
-the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the
-house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large
-as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it.
-
-Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but, as
-the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it,
-that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself 'Then I'll
-go round and get in at the window.'
-
-'THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied
-she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her
-hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything,
-but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass,
-from which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a
-cucumber-frame, or something of the sort.
-
-Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--'Pat! Pat! Where are you?' And
-then a voice she had never heard before, 'Sure then I'm here! Digging
-for apples, yer honour!'
-
-'Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. 'Here! Come and
-help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.)
-
-'Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'
-
-'Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it 'arrum.')
-
-'An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole
-window!'
-
-'Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'
-
-'Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!'
-
-There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers
-now and then; such as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at
-all!' 'Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at last she spread out her
-hand again, and made another snatch in the air. This time there were
-TWO little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. 'What a number of
-cucumber-frames there must be!' thought Alice. 'I wonder what they'll do
-next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm
-sure I don't want to stay in here any longer!'
-
-She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a
-rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voices
-all talking together: she made out the words: 'Where's the other
-ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the other--Bill!
-fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up at this corner--No, tie 'em
-together first--they don't reach half high enough yet--Oh! they'll
-do well enough; don't be particular--Here, Bill! catch hold of this
-rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming
-down! Heads below!' (a loud crash)--'Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I
-fancy--Who's to go down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I
-won't, then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to
-go down the chimney!'
-
-'Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to
-herself. 'Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in
-Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but
-I THINK I can kick a little!'
-
-She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited
-till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was)
-scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then,
-saying to herself 'This is Bill,' she gave one sharp kick, and waited to
-see what would happen next.
-
-The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes Bill!'
-then the Rabbit's voice along--'Catch him, you by the hedge!' then
-silence, and then another confusion of voices--'Hold up his head--Brandy
-now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell
-us all about it!'
-
-Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,' thought
-Alice,) 'Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm better now--but I'm
-a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know is, something comes at me
-like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!'
-
-'So you did, old fellow!' said the others.
-
-'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and Alice called
-out as loud as she could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah at you!'
-
-There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, 'I
-wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the
-roof off.' After a minute or two, they began moving about again, and
-Alice heard the Rabbit say, 'A barrowful will do, to begin with.'
-
-'A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt,
-for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the
-window, and some of them hit her in the face. 'I'll put a stop to this,'
-she said to herself, and shouted out, 'You'd better not do that again!'
-which produced another dead silence.
-
-Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into
-little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her
-head. 'If I eat one of these cakes,' she thought, 'it's sure to make
-SOME change in my size; and as it can't possibly make me larger, it must
-make me smaller, I suppose.'
-
-So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she
-began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through
-the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little
-animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was
-in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it
-something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice the moment she
-appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself
-safe in a thick wood.
-
-'The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she wandered
-about in the wood, 'is to grow to my right size again; and the second
-thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be
-the best plan.'
-
-It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply
-arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea
-how to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among
-the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a
-great hurry.
-
-An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and
-feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. 'Poor little thing!'
-said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it; but
-she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it might be
-hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of
-all her coaxing.
-
-Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and
-held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off
-all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick,
-and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle,
-to keep herself from being run over; and the moment she appeared on the
-other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head
-over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was
-very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every
-moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then
-the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a very
-little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely
-all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with
-its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut.
-
-This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she
-set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and
-till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the distance.
-
-'And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she leant
-against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the
-leaves: 'I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if--if I'd
-only been the right size to do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that
-I've got to grow up again! Let me see--how IS it to be managed? I
-suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great
-question is, what?'
-
-The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at
-the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that
-looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances.
-There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as
-herself; and when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and
-behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what
-was on the top of it.
-
-She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the
-mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar,
-that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long
-hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V. Advice from a Caterpillar
-
-The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence:
-at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed
-her in a languid, sleepy voice.
-
-'Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.
-
-This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied,
-rather shyly, 'I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--at least I know
-who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been
-changed several times since then.'
-
-'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 'Explain
-yourself!'
-
-'I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, 'because I'm not
-myself, you see.'
-
-'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.
-
-'I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely,
-'for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many
-different sizes in a day is very confusing.'
-
-'It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.
-
-'Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; 'but when you
-have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then
-after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little
-queer, won't you?'
-
-'Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.
-
-'Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 'all I know
-is, it would feel very queer to ME.'
-
-'You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 'Who are YOU?'
-
-Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation.
-Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such VERY
-short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, 'I think,
-you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'
-
-'Why?' said the Caterpillar.
-
-Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any
-good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant
-state of mind, she turned away.
-
-'Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. 'I've something important
-to say!'
-
-This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again.
-
-'Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.
-
-'Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she
-could.
-
-'No,' said the Caterpillar.
-
-Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and
-perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some
-minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its
-arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, 'So you think
-you're changed, do you?'
-
-'I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; 'I can't remember things as I
-used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'
-
-'Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.
-
-'Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it all came
-different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
-
-'Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.
-
-Alice folded her hands, and began:--
-
-   'You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
-    'And your hair has become very white;
-   And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
-    Do you think, at your age, it is right?'
-
-   'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,
-    'I feared it might injure the brain;
-   But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
-    Why, I do it again and again.'
-
-   'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before,
-    And have grown most uncommonly fat;
-   Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
-    Pray, what is the reason of that?'
-
-   'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
-    'I kept all my limbs very supple
-   By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box--
-    Allow me to sell you a couple?'
-
-   'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak
-    For anything tougher than suet;
-   Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
-    Pray how did you manage to do it?'
-
-   'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law,
-    And argued each case with my wife;
-   And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
-    Has lasted the rest of my life.'
-
-   'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose
-    That your eye was as steady as ever;
-   Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
-    What made you so awfully clever?'
-
-   'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
-    Said his father; 'don't give yourself airs!
-   Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
-    Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'
-
-
-'That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.
-
-'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words
-have got altered.'
-
-'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and
-there was silence for some minutes.
-
-The Caterpillar was the first to speak.
-
-'What size do you want to be?' it asked.
-
-'Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 'only one
-doesn't like changing so often, you know.'
-
-'I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.
-
-Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life
-before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.
-
-'Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.
-
-'Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind,'
-said Alice: 'three inches is such a wretched height to be.'
-
-'It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing
-itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).
-
-'But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And
-she thought of herself, 'I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily
-offended!'
-
-'You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put the
-hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.
-
-This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In
-a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth
-and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the
-mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went,
-'One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you
-grow shorter.'
-
-'One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to herself.
-
-'Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it
-aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.
-
-Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying
-to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly
-round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she
-stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit
-of the edge with each hand.
-
-'And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a little of
-the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent
-blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot!
-
-She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt
-that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she
-set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed
-so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her
-mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the
-lefthand bit.
-
-
-  *    *    *    *    *    *    *
-
-    *    *    *    *    *    *
-
-  *    *    *    *    *    *    *
-
-'Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight, which
-changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders
-were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was
-an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a
-sea of green leaves that lay far below her.
-
-'What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. 'And where HAVE my
-shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?'
-She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow,
-except a little shaking among the distant green leaves.
-
-As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she
-tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her
-neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had
-just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going
-to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops
-of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made
-her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and
-was beating her violently with its wings.
-
-'Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.
-
-'I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. 'Let me alone!'
-
-'Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone,
-and added with a kind of sob, 'I've tried every way, and nothing seems
-to suit them!'
-
-'I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said Alice.
-
-'I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried
-hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; 'but those
-serpents! There's no pleasing them!'
-
-Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in
-saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.
-
-'As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the Pigeon;
-'but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I
-haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!'
-
-'I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was beginning to
-see its meaning.
-
-'And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued the
-Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, 'and just as I was thinking I
-should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from
-the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'
-
-'But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. 'I'm a--I'm a--'
-
-'Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. 'I can see you're trying to
-invent something!'
-
-'I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered
-the number of changes she had gone through that day.
-
-'A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest
-contempt. 'I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE
-with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and there's no use
-denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that you never tasted an
-egg!'
-
-'I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very truthful
-child; 'but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you
-know.'
-
-'I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; 'but if they do, why then they're
-a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'
-
-This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a
-minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, 'You're
-looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and what does it matter to me
-whether you're a little girl or a serpent?'
-
-'It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; 'but I'm not looking
-for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want YOURS: I don't
-like them raw.'
-
-'Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled
-down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as
-she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and
-every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she
-remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and
-she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the
-other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had
-succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.
-
-It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it
-felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes,
-and began talking to herself, as usual. 'Come, there's half my plan done
-now! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going
-to be, from one minute to another! However, I've got back to my right
-size: the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that
-to be done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open
-place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 'Whoever lives
-there,' thought Alice, 'it'll never do to come upon them THIS size: why,
-I should frighten them out of their wits!' So she began nibbling at the
-righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house till she
-had brought herself down to nine inches high.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI. Pig and Pepper
-
-For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what
-to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the
-wood--(she considered him to be a footman because he was in livery:
-otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called him a
-fish)--and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. It was opened
-by another footman in livery, with a round face, and large eyes like a
-frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all
-over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about,
-and crept a little way out of the wood to listen.
-
-The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter,
-nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other,
-saying, in a solemn tone, 'For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen
-to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone,
-only changing the order of the words a little, 'From the Queen. An
-invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.'
-
-Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.
-
-Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the
-wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out the
-Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the
-door, staring stupidly up into the sky.
-
-Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.
-
-'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, 'and that for
-two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you
-are; secondly, because they're making such a noise inside, no one could
-possibly hear you.' And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise
-going on within--a constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then
-a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces.
-
-'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I to get in?'
-
-'There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went on
-without attending to her, 'if we had the door between us. For instance,
-if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let you out, you know.'
-He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this
-Alice thought decidedly uncivil. 'But perhaps he can't help it,' she
-said to herself; 'his eyes are so VERY nearly at the top of his head.
-But at any rate he might answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she
-repeated, aloud.
-
-'I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till tomorrow--'
-
-At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came
-skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose,
-and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him.
-
-'--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly
-as if nothing had happened.
-
-'How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.
-
-'ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. 'That's the first
-question, you know.'
-
-It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 'It's really
-dreadful,' she muttered to herself, 'the way all the creatures argue.
-It's enough to drive one crazy!'
-
-The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his
-remark, with variations. 'I shall sit here,' he said, 'on and off, for
-days and days.'
-
-'But what am I to do?' said Alice.
-
-'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling.
-
-'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 'he's
-perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in.
-
-The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from
-one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in
-the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring
-a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup.
-
-'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself,
-as well as she could for sneezing.
-
-There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess
-sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling
-alternately without a moment's pause. The only things in the kitchen
-that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on
-the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.
-
-'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was
-not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why
-your cat grins like that?'
-
-'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!'
-
-She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
-jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby,
-and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
-
-'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know
-that cats COULD grin.'
-
-'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'
-
-'I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, feeling quite
-pleased to have got into a conversation.
-
-'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; 'and that's a fact.'
-
-Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would
-be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she
-was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the
-fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at
-the Duchess and the baby--the fire-irons came first; then followed a
-shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of
-them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already,
-that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.
-
-'Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up and down in
-an agony of terror. 'Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose'; as an unusually
-large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off.
-
-'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a hoarse
-growl, 'the world would go round a deal faster than it does.'
-
-'Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very glad to get
-an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. 'Just think of
-what work it would make with the day and night! You see the earth takes
-twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis--'
-
-'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head!'
-
-Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take
-the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to
-be listening, so she went on again: 'Twenty-four hours, I THINK; or is
-it twelve? I--'
-
-'Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; 'I never could abide figures!'
-And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of
-lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of
-every line:
-
-   'Speak roughly to your little boy,
-    And beat him when he sneezes:
-   He only does it to annoy,
-    Because he knows it teases.'
-
-         CHORUS.
-
- (In which the cook and the baby joined):--
-
-       'Wow! wow! wow!'
-
-While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing
-the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so,
-that Alice could hardly hear the words:--
-
-   'I speak severely to my boy,
-    I beat him when he sneezes;
-   For he can thoroughly enjoy
-    The pepper when he pleases!'
-
-         CHORUS.
-
-       'Wow! wow! wow!'
-
-'Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said to Alice,
-flinging the baby at her as she spoke. 'I must go and get ready to play
-croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw
-a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her.
-
-Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped
-little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, 'just
-like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting
-like a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and
-straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute
-or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it.
-
-As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to
-twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right
-ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried
-it out into the open air. 'IF I don't take this child away with me,'
-thought Alice, 'they're sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be
-murder to leave it behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the
-little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time).
-'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's not at all a proper way of expressing
-yourself.'
-
-The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to
-see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had
-a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its
-eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: altogether Alice did not
-like the look of the thing at all. 'But perhaps it was only sobbing,'
-she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any
-tears.
-
-No, there were no tears. 'If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear,'
-said Alice, seriously, 'I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind
-now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible
-to say which), and they went on for some while in silence.
-
-Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 'Now, what am I to do with
-this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted again, so violently,
-that she looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could
-be NO mistake about it: it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she
-felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it further.
-
-So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see
-it trot away quietly into the wood. 'If it had grown up,' she said
-to herself, 'it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes
-rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began thinking over other
-children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying
-to herself, 'if one only knew the right way to change them--' when she
-was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a
-tree a few yards off.
-
-The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured, she
-thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great many teeth, so she
-felt that it ought to be treated with respect.
-
-'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know
-whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider.
-'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. 'Would you
-tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
-
-'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
-
-'I don't much care where--' said Alice.
-
-'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
-
-'--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.
-
-'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long
-enough.'
-
-Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question.
-'What sort of people live about here?'
-
-'In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 'lives
-a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, 'lives a March
-Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'
-
-'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
-
-'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad.
-You're mad.'
-
-'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
-
-'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'
-
-Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on 'And how
-do you know that you're mad?'
-
-'To begin with,' said the Cat, 'a dog's not mad. You grant that?'
-
-'I suppose so,' said Alice.
-
-'Well, then,' the Cat went on, 'you see, a dog growls when it's angry,
-and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and
-wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.'
-
-'I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.
-
-'Call it what you like,' said the Cat. 'Do you play croquet with the
-Queen to-day?'
-
-'I should like it very much,' said Alice, 'but I haven't been invited
-yet.'
-
-'You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.
-
-Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer
-things happening. While she was looking at the place where it had been,
-it suddenly appeared again.
-
-'By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. 'I'd nearly
-forgotten to ask.'
-
-'It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back
-in a natural way.
-
-'I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.
-
-Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not
-appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in
-which the March Hare was said to live. 'I've seen hatters before,' she
-said to herself; 'the March Hare will be much the most interesting, and
-perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad--at least not so mad as
-it was in March.' As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat
-again, sitting on a branch of a tree.
-
-'Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.
-
-'I said pig,' replied Alice; 'and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and
-vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.'
-
-'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly,
-beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which
-remained some time after the rest of it had gone.
-
-'Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; 'but a grin
-without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!'
-
-She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house
-of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, because the
-chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It
-was so large a house, that she did not like to go nearer till she had
-nibbled some more of the lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised herself to
-about two feet high: even then she walked up towards it rather timidly,
-saying to herself 'Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost
-wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead!'
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII. A Mad Tea-Party
-
-There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the
-March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting
-between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a
-cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head. 'Very
-uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; 'only, as it's asleep, I
-suppose it doesn't mind.'
-
-The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at
-one corner of it: 'No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Alice
-coming. 'There's PLENTY of room!' said Alice indignantly, and she sat
-down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.
-
-'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
-
-Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea.
-'I don't see any wine,' she remarked.
-
-'There isn't any,' said the March Hare.
-
-'Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice angrily.
-
-'It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,' said
-the March Hare.
-
-'I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; 'it's laid for a great
-many more than three.'
-
-'Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice
-for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.
-
-'You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said with some
-severity; 'it's very rude.'
-
-The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID
-was, 'Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'
-
-'Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they've
-begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud.
-
-'Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the
-March Hare.
-
-'Exactly so,' said Alice.
-
-'Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.
-
-'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least--at least I mean what I
-say--that's the same thing, you know.'
-
-'Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. 'You might just as well say
-that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!'
-
-'You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, 'that "I like what I
-get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'
-
-'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be
-talking in his sleep, 'that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing
-as "I sleep when I breathe"!'
-
-'It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the
-conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice
-thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks,
-which wasn't much.
-
-The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 'What day of the month
-is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his
-pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then,
-and holding it to his ear.
-
-Alice considered a little, and then said 'The fourth.'
-
-'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. 'I told you butter wouldn't suit
-the works!' he added looking angrily at the March Hare.
-
-'It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied.
-
-'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter grumbled:
-'you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.'
-
-The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped
-it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of
-nothing better to say than his first remark, 'It was the BEST butter,
-you know.'
-
-Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 'What a
-funny watch!' she remarked. 'It tells the day of the month, and doesn't
-tell what o'clock it is!'
-
-'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does YOUR watch tell you what
-year it is?'
-
-'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's because it
-stays the same year for such a long time together.'
-
-'Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter.
-
-Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no
-sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. 'I don't quite
-understand you,' she said, as politely as she could.
-
-'The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little
-hot tea upon its nose.
-
-The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its
-eyes, 'Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.'
-
-'Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to Alice
-again.
-
-'No, I give it up,' Alice replied: 'what's the answer?'
-
-'I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.
-
-'Nor I,' said the March Hare.
-
-Alice sighed wearily. 'I think you might do something better with the
-time,' she said, 'than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.'
-
-'If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, 'you wouldn't talk
-about wasting IT. It's HIM.'
-
-'I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.
-
-'Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously.
-'I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'
-
-'Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: 'but I know I have to beat time
-when I learn music.'
-
-'Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. 'He won't stand beating.
-Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything
-you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in
-the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a
-hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one,
-time for dinner!'
-
-('I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)
-
-'That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: 'but then--I
-shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'
-
-'Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: 'but you could keep it to
-half-past one as long as you liked.'
-
-'Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked.
-
-The Hatter shook his head mournfully. 'Not I!' he replied. 'We
-quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--' (pointing
-with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) '--it was at the great concert
-given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing
-
-     "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
-     How I wonder what you're at!"
-
-You know the song, perhaps?'
-
-'I've heard something like it,' said Alice.
-
-'It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, 'in this way:--
-
-     "Up above the world you fly,
-     Like a tea-tray in the sky.
-         Twinkle, twinkle--"'
-
-Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 'Twinkle,
-twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that they had to pinch
-it to make it stop.
-
-'Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, 'when the
-Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the time! Off with his
-head!"'
-
-'How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.
-
-'And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, 'he won't
-do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.'
-
-A bright idea came into Alice's head. 'Is that the reason so many
-tea-things are put out here?' she asked.
-
-'Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: 'it's always tea-time,
-and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.'
-
-'Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.
-
-'Exactly so,' said the Hatter: 'as the things get used up.'
-
-'But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice ventured
-to ask.
-
-'Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, yawning.
-'I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.'
-
-'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at the
-proposal.
-
-'Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. 'Wake up, Dormouse!' And
-they pinched it on both sides at once.
-
-The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. 'I wasn't asleep,' he said in a
-hoarse, feeble voice: 'I heard every word you fellows were saying.'
-
-'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.
-
-'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.
-
-'And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, 'or you'll be asleep again
-before it's done.'
-
-'Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began
-in a great hurry; 'and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and
-they lived at the bottom of a well--'
-
-'What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great interest in
-questions of eating and drinking.
-
-'They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or
-two.
-
-'They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently remarked; 'they'd
-have been ill.'
-
-'So they were,' said the Dormouse; 'VERY ill.'
-
-Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of
-living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: 'But
-why did they live at the bottom of a well?'
-
-'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.
-
-'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, 'so I can't
-take more.'
-
-'You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: 'it's very easy to take
-MORE than nothing.'
-
-'Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.
-
-'Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked triumphantly.
-
-Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself
-to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and
-repeated her question. 'Why did they live at the bottom of a well?'
-
-The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then
-said, 'It was a treacle-well.'
-
-'There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but the
-Hatter and the March Hare went 'Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily
-remarked, 'If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for
-yourself.'
-
-'No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; 'I won't interrupt again. I
-dare say there may be ONE.'
-
-'One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to
-go on. 'And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw,
-you know--'
-
-'What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
-
-'Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.
-
-'I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: 'let's all move one place
-on.'
-
-He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare
-moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took
-the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any
-advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than
-before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.
-
-Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very
-cautiously: 'But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle
-from?'
-
-'You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; 'so I should
-think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?'
-
-'But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to
-notice this last remark.
-
-'Of course they were', said the Dormouse; '--well in.'
-
-This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for
-some time without interrupting it.
-
-'They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing
-its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; 'and they drew all manner of
-things--everything that begins with an M--'
-
-'Why with an M?' said Alice.
-
-'Why not?' said the March Hare.
-
-Alice was silent.
-
-The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into
-a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with
-a little shriek, and went on: '--that begins with an M, such as
-mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--you know you say
-things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever see such a thing as a
-drawing of a muchness?'
-
-'Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, 'I don't
-think--'
-
-'Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.
-
-This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in
-great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and
-neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she
-looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her:
-the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into
-the teapot.
-
-'At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she picked her
-way through the wood. 'It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all
-my life!'
-
-Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door
-leading right into it. 'That's very curious!' she thought. 'But
-everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.' And in
-she went.
-
-Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little
-glass table. 'Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself,
-and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that
-led into the garden. Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she
-had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high:
-then she walked down the little passage: and THEN--she found herself at
-last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool
-fountains.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII. The Queen's Croquet-Ground
-
-A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses
-growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily
-painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went
-nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of
-them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like
-that!'
-
-'I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven jogged my
-elbow.'
-
-On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always lay the
-blame on others!'
-
-'YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. 'I heard the Queen say only
-yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'
-
-'What for?' said the one who had spoken first.
-
-'That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.
-
-'Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell him--it was for
-bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'
-
-Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all the unjust
-things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching
-them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and
-all of them bowed low.
-
-'Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you are painting
-those roses?'
-
-Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low
-voice, 'Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a
-RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen
-was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know.
-So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to--' At this
-moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called
-out 'The Queen! The Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw
-themselves flat upon their faces

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