Will,
After a little practice you will be able to feel through the knife or spoon where the spread you are applying is either on the bread or where it is not. I practiced with a piece of toast at first and after getting the technique down, I practiced with untoasted bread. Toast is a little firmer and a little rougher than a piece of bread so it gives a good tactile reference to allow you to feel through the knife where you have or have not buttered it. run the knife across the toast without any spread on it so you can get to know the "feel" of it through the knife without anything on the toast. I used peanut butter to practice with since it is a little thicker and stickier than regular butter... plus I love peanut butter and enjoyed practicing and eating my mistakes and successes! (grin)
To butter, I usually start at one edge and spread towards the middle.
I do the same at the opposite side buttering again towards the middle.
Then I spread from the middle to the two edges that I did not butter.
After doing this, I trail the knife blade along the edges, from corner to corner, to hopefully completely cover the entire piece of the toast. As you spread the peanut butter on the toast, be conscious of the feel of the toast and peanut butter under your knife... you should be able to detect where there is peanut butter and where it is missing on the toast. When you reach the point where you think the peanut butter is covering the toast, go ahead and inspect your work by taking a look at it with your fingers...
Practice makes perfect!
The more  you do it the easier it will become.
Remember, there is no right or wrong way to apply a spread, butter, peanut butter, mayo, mustard, etc, and this is just my technique... After a bit of doing it I am sure you will have great success doing it your way!
Good luck...
Dale  Campbell
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