Peter,
I have come across “buckle the beggar” but not buckleberry. It looks to be a term that must have come to Ulster with the Scots, as many of our local words did. I have never heard it used in Ulster but it seems as though it was at one time because I can see a couple of references on the net. In the Scottish National Dictionary it says: *buckle-beggar*, *buckle-the-beggars*, “one who marries others in a clandestine and disorderly manner” (Sc. 1808 Jam.) It reminds me a little of another form of marriage known as “handfasting.” This was particularly common in the Scottish Borders in the 1500s & early 1600s, where there were very few Priests or Ministers due to the whole place being basically lawless. Such clerics as there were usually had to have a peel tower (similar to a bawn in Ulster) to retreat to if attacked. So it was hard to get a Priest or a Minister to marry you. Quoting from Godfrey Watsons’ book ”The Border Reivers[1] <#_ftn1>” (publ 1974) p 180: “..if a priest was perhaps available only once a year, a problem inevitably arose for those who wished to get married out of season, as it were. The answer was ‘handfasting.’ This was a custom whereby a couple would live together till the book-a-bosom man could bless their union. The arrangement was for a trial period of one year (unless the parson appeared earlier), after which it became permanent. If, before then, one or other wanted to bring the arrangement to an end, he or she must accept responsibility for any children of the union, in which case they were still regarded as legitimate. There is still in existence an old genealogy of the Elliots of Lariston, which refers to “Simon of Benks who handfasted or took for a trial a bastard daughter of the said Gibbie with the Golden Garters on condition he should pay her a considerable tocher[2] <#_ftn2> in case he was not pleased with her.” Normally handfasting required no dowry, and this idea of making second hand goods more marriageable may well have been restricted to the gentry, who appear to have handfasted in the same way as anyone else. John, Lord Maxwell, for instance was contracted thus to a sister of the Earl of Angus. Nobody in the Borders seems to have worried very much about children being born out of wedlock, and there are countless examples of natural[3] <#_ftn3> children figuring openly in men’s wills.” Isn’t “Gibbie with the Golden Garters” a wonderful name? Elwyn ------------------------------ [1] <#_ftnref1> Reiver = thief (robber) [2] <#_ftnref2> dowry [3] <#_ftnref3> illegitimate On Tue, 23 Jun 2020 at 13:39, Peter Sinclair <pe...@sinclairgenealogy.info> wrote: > I must thank Elwyn for his very interesting texts about marriage and > children born out of wedlock (lovely term 'wedlock', with all it implies!). > There is another term I have come across during my research into the > Sinclair families in Cos. Armagh, Tyrone and Monaghan: 'buckle-the-beggar' > or 'buckleberry' marriage. Apparently this was marrying after the birth of > children and was accepted by the Presbyterian and Roman Catholic churches, > but not by the Church of Ireland (presumably before 1845). If Elwyn has any > more information about this I know I would be interested. > > Peter > > please don't print this email unless you really need to > > -----Original Message----- > From: CoTyroneList <cotyronelist-boun...@cotyroneireland.com> On Behalf > Of elwyn soutter via CoTyroneList > Sent: 22 June 2020 22:49 > To: CoTyroneIreland.com Mailing List <cotyronelist@cotyroneireland.com> > Cc: elwyn soutter <elwynsout...@googlemail.com> > Subject: Re: [CoTyroneMailingList] Marriage Customs > > Marion, > > > > Sorry you can’t find Connell’s book. It is fairly old (1950) and may not > be on-line anywhere. I think I found a copy in the Linenhall Library in > Belfast and photocopied a couple of dozen pages. The book looks at Ireland > as a whole and I am not sure if every custom reported there was necessarily > represented in Tyrone, and especially by Ulster-Scots, but it’s obviously a > useful background on marriage practices in Ireland in general. > > > > There are detailed references to arranged marriages but it is also clear > that many were not arranged. (Connell distinguishes between what he called > arranged and customary marriages). Not every bride had a dowry. And there > were some that were perhaps half way between. “John Kerrigan, a Mayo > farmer, told the Poor Inquiry Commission that: “It is not always the > father’s fault that his children get married too soon; sometimes the father > suffers more than the child. I was a comfortable man, and had 4 cows and a > heifer, till my daughter got married, and played me a trick that a good > many girls have done before: she ran off with a young man and, after a > week’s sport, he sent her back without having married her. She never > stopped at me, saying that he wouldn’t take her without a fortune, until I > was forced to give her three of my cows, and money besides; moreover I had > to pay the priest.’” (Page 56). > > > > My own view is that arranged marriages were mostly linked to retaining > property, and so were of great relevance to farmers but largely irrelevant > to labourers and others with few assets (ie the greater part of the > population). > > > > What you say about your Urney relatives marrying other local farmers was I > think fairly common. Until the arrival of the bicycle in rural Ireland in > the 1860s most travel, and consequently most courtship, was done on foot. > Whilst they were much fitter than most of us today, and could easily travel > 15 or 20 miles a day, at the same time they were needed on the farm most > of the time and so courting someone who lived say 30 miles away was almost > impossible (save for folk whose occupations involved a bit of travel eg > soldiers, policemen, stonemasons etc). My wife comes from Co. Fermanagh. > Her ancestors all married locally and in a history of her parish (Galloon) > a local author said that that in the 1800s it was normal to marry within an > “an asses bark of where you lived.” I suppose an asses bark can be heard > for about half a mile or so. So you often married someone close to you. The > girl next door perhaps? Just as today, family pressures in many households > would be to marry someone deemed suitable. So a farmer would want his > children to marry another farmer’s children and not a labourer’s. A Church > of Ireland – Presbyterian marriage wouldn't raise any eyebrows. A Church of > Ireland – RC marriage could do so. Some couples just ignored the > difficulties. For others it was a factor in their decision to emigrate. > > > > In the 1800s there wasn’t a lot of subdivision of farms. They were mostly > pretty small and just wouldn’t be viable if divided out amongst several > sons, generation after generation. So the farm usually went to the eldest > son, and the other sons were expected to make their own way in the world. > (Some did stay as labourers on bigger farms but many had to leave. There > was often no other work for them locally). The daughters were hopefully > going to be disposed of by marriage with perhaps one – often the youngest – > being retained to look after her parents in their old age (lucky her). See > *Note* below. > > > > I have touched on Ireland’s problems in the 1800s. There were many. (One > wit has said that Ireland has too much history and should be given a > break.). Most contributed to emigration. I mentioned previously the massive > population explosion between 1741 and 1841. In addition, Ireland has very > few natural resources (no oil, coal, iron ore etc) and so did not benefit > from the industrial revolution in the 1800s, the way Scotland, England, the > US, Canada & Australia did, which created hundreds of thousands of > comparatively well-paid new jobs in new industries (coal mining, steel > making, railways, ship building etc). There simply weren’t jobs for all > those people in Ireland. In much of Ireland the only employment was > subsistence farming topped up in Ulster and one or two other areas with a > bit of linen weaving. And then the straw that broke the camel’s back, along > came the famine, numerous times throughout the 1800s. The worst period was > when the potato crop failed almost completely 3 years in a row in the late > 1840s, and then partially several more years after that. > > > > Other factors led to continued emigration, eg early mechanisation on farms. > With new machines to turn the soil and plant seed, farmers no longer > needed an army of agricultural labourers to help on the farm. So those jobs > were rapidly disappearing. Likewise mechanisation had led to linen > factories being set up in places like Belfast. These made home weaving > uneconomic and so also upset the labourer’s family economy. Agriculture was > the biggest single employer in Ireland, but it was mostly a barter economy. > Few people had any ready cash save what they could make from weaving or any > government sponsored work such as building new roads. So when the > opportunity arose to get jobs with a regular wage packet, as opposed to a > few pence from your father each week, the decision to migrate wasn’t really > all that hard to make. > > > > Regarding illegitimacy, my own family experiences have been that the > family rallied round, as you say. What degree of enthusiasm they had is > not something I know – it wasn’t discussed with me - but all I can say is > that the children appear in various records in a way that shows the family > were supporting them. There were others who could not get that support. So > the church records (of all denominations) are full of “foundlings”. These > children were baptised into the church whose doorstep they were found on > sometimes with the name of the person who found them. The churches then > usually found a suitable family willing or even wanting a child and it > became theirs. (No paperwork required before 1927 in NI and 1953 in the > Republic of Ireland). > > > > Your account of your Tyrone ancestor who had an illegitimate child > baptised in Taughboyne in Donegal, that later turned up living near her > made me smile. Because I think things then were not so different from > today. I know someone whose daughter got pregnant unexpectedly some 30 > years ago. She decided against an abortion and instead “disappeared” to > Donegal for a few months to give birth there, with the intention of having > the child adopted, after which she’d return home with the explanation that > she had been away working in London. However after she gave birth in > Donegal, she decided she didn’t want to give the child away and kept it. > Undoubtedly a good decision for the child though the elderly aunts and > uncles at home were a bit baffled, perhaps a bit slow on the uptake, and > gave her a hard time: “You don't have a boyfriend or husband, and we > weren’t aware you were pregnant, but you say this is your child?” “ Well, > yes”. I think your family may have done something similar. Perhaps your > ancestor was sent away to give birth but afterwards wanted the child near > her and so he ended up living near her. > > > > > > > > Elwyn > > > > > > *Note.* Anyone interested in a description of life on a Tyrone farm in the > 1950s might enjoy: “Bob was Protestant horse” by Michael McDonald (pub > 2006). It’s available on Amazon and Kindle. This is a description of life > on a Catholic farm, written by a nephew who came to visit every summer. > Much of it is very funny with all the quirks that you might expect. > Sometimes poignant. But in the daily routine was an unmarried daughter who > was the drudge, with little chance of having a real life or a partner > because she was too busy milking or carrying sacks of meal to get off the > farm for even 20 minutes to meet anyone. Grim at times. (The title refers > to the fact that the farmer had 2 horses for ploughing. One was called Bob > who was docile and a perfect worker and gave no trouble. The other wasn’t > much inclined to work at all. He kept escaping and routinely had to be > pursued round the countryside for half a day. The farmer drily concluded > that from their different work ethics, Bob must be a Protestant horse.) > Discuss, as they say. > > On Mon, 22 Jun 2020 at 14:26, Ron McCoy via CoTyroneList < > cotyronelist@cotyroneireland.com> wrote: > > > Hi Marion > > > > I can't speak to what happened in Tyrone with your family but I grew > > up in a Scot-Irish community in Canada and what you described of the > > family, daughter and illegitimate child would be very typical of how > > they would be treated in our community. In my family and neighbours > > they were still like a Clan while not obviously officially. Children > > who were related and some who were not but fell under the protection > > of the Clan were looked after by the family best able to care for them > > and keep them in the community. There was always people who wanted to > > cast aspirations on to those children and their mothers but the Clan > > depending on it strength, physical or financial or other wise > > protected them from the harm that might befall them. They were raised > > usually in the community as an open secret which was understood and > > was not held against them. However out side that group was a different > > and often less forgiving story. Many children were rejected when new > > wives came on the scene or outside influences over took the family who > > sheltered the child. At these points the child or mother would if > > possible move around the group looking for work and a home. If that > > was impossible then it was brutally hard on those individuals. For > > that reason you see the movement of young people in the records as you > > do. That is my experience living in a world with few social services > > and close family ties. It was I believe probably a very old and > > effective way of caring for people who were in effect defenseless in a > cruel world looking for scapegoats... > > > > Cheers > > > > Ron McCoy > > > > On 2020-06-22 7:15 a.m., Marion via CoTyroneList wrote: > > > Elwyn, > > > Many thanks for all the information and suggestions. I have been > > > trying > > to access the book you recommended , not very successfully, but I have > > found some journal articles he wrote, so I shall be busy reading. > > > I was interested in the view that couples mostly selected each other > > > , > > as I have read elsewhere that marriage was more of a business matter > > with dowries being paid, and wondered how true this was. My own > > ancestors lived in the parish of Urney , in both Tyrone and Donegal. > > The Tyrone family were Church of Ireland and small farmers, and the > > men seemed to marry the daughters of neighbouring farmers, who were > > Presbyterians. I have wondered about the basis for their choice but it > > seems it was to do with demographics as much as anything. There were > > many daughters in the family ,some of whom married, some remained > > unmarried and others emigrated to America . Their lives seem to have > been much more uncertain. > > > My Donegal ancestors were Presbyterians and distinctly Ulster Scots > > > and > > fit your description of their patterns of marriage, with the same > > family names being linked repeatedly over the generations and the > > marriage of relatives often occurring. This seems to have declined in > > the beginning of the twentieth century. > > > My interest in illegitimacy was also related to an ancestor born out > > > of > > wedlock in the Tyrone branch. The mother was the daughter of a small > > farmer whose wife had died when her children were very young. She > > disappeared from the records for a while but was obviously sent to St > > Johnstone in Donegal, as there is a baptism for her son recorded in > > Taughboyne Parish church in 1889. After this discreet birth she > > appears to have returned to the family although it is not clear what > > happened to her son. After her fathers death she continued there > > acting as housekeeper to her then unmarried brother. In > > 1901 she was still with her brother but looking at the inhabitants of > > another house on a neighbouring farm , owned by the family, her son, > > aged 11, is found lodging with them. By 1911 he was back with his > > mother, her brother and his wife in the family home. This was > > obviously a caring family, (her father had left her well provided for > > in his will) but they must have been concerned about the stigma of > > illegitimacy. I was curious about this and wondered if it was an > > isolated example but from what you say families were often as supportive > as possible. > > > Well thanks again for all your knowledgeable comments and your > > willingness to share. > > > Regards Marion > > > > > > Sent from Mail for Windows 10 > > > > > > From: elwyn soutter > > > Sent: 21 June 2020 18:56 > > > To: CoTyroneIreland.com Mailing List > > > Cc: Marion > > > Subject: Re: [CoTyroneMailingList] Marriage Customs > > > > > > Marion, > > > > > > I suspect that a full answer to your interesting question could fill > > > a > > hundred pages. > > > > > > One source you might want to investigate is: “The Population of > > > Ireland > > 1750 – 1845” by KH Connell, published in Oxford 1950. One of the many > > causes of the problems that plagued Ireland in the 1800s was the fact > > that there had been a massive population explosion. It went up from 3 > > million in > > 1741 to 8 million in 1841. (It’s only 6 million today). No-one is > > entirely certain why. A reduction in neo-natal death rates was a > > factor. Connell also speculates that they started to marry younger and > > that consequently the reproductive rate ( R ) increased significantly. > > And as we all know these days, if the R number rises significantly you > > can see an exponential increase in whatever you are studying. In this > case, children. > > > > > > The book therefore spends quite a bit of time discussing the customs > > surrounding marriage, and also different customs between Catholics and > > Protestants. There’s some interesting but grim stuff about arranged > > marriages in the West of Ireland, with girls being dragged to the > > altar by their fathers, bathed in tears, to marry men they hadn’t a > > notion for. “The Chief time for marriages is from Christmas until > > Lent, being the season of the year when people have the most leisure for > settling such business.” > > (page 55). > > > > > > But not all marriages were arranged. Couples mostly seemed to select > > each other in the ways we would recognise today. Another factor was > > that marriage was the only thing they could look to, to break the > > miserableness of their existence. “Perhaps the strongest motives > > urging young people towards early marriages were the wretchedness of > > their living conditions and their realization that no ordinary amount > > of self-denial or industry gave promise of better times. > > Contemporaries frequently regarded early marriage as one of the evils of > poor living conditions.” (p57). > > > > > > Anyway, as I say, that study contains quite a bit on marriage customs. > > > > > > Some couples eloped (if they had the means). For years the main > > > ferry > > between Scotland and the Belfast area was between Portpatrick in > > Wigtownshire and Donaghadee in Co. Down. So couples eloped to > > Portpatrick to get married. Scottish law then (and now) allows a > > couple to marry at 16, and without parental consent. (In England and > > Ireland parental consent was required till you were 21). Some folk may > > have heard of people running off to Gretna Green to get married. > > Gretna Green is on the border between England & Scotland and so was > > handy if you were English and in a hurry to get married, but Portpatrick > was the equivalent if coming from Ireland. > > Here’s a link to marriages in Portpatrick involving couples from > > Ireland, going back to 1721. Most of these are presumably elopements. > > I can’t think of any other reason for marrying there: > > > > > > http://www.ulsterancestry.com/free/ShowFreePage-39.html#gsc.tab=0 > > > > > > > > > The Ulster-Scots are an interesting group. I did a course at Queens > > University, Belfast a year or two back on migration into Ireland. The > > lecturer drew a contrast between various invaders such as the Vikings > > and the Ulster – Scots. In spite of being present for 300 years or > > so, the Vikings left very little impact on Ireland. There’s a few > > place names such as Strangford (strong fjord) and the odd surname > > which may point to Norse origins, but by and large there’s not much > > sign of them. Part of the reason was that they only settled around the > > coast, and not in sufficient numbers to dominate the population. But > > another factor was that they didn’t bring any women with them. If > > they needed women then the answer was usually a bit of rape and > > pillage amongst the locals. However the significance of this was that > > if they settled and remained in Ireland, as some undoubtedly did, then > > they quickly integrated into the local community and their Norse > > identity was soon lost. In contrast, the Scots came with equal numbers > > of men and women. They tended to marry each other and kept their > > separate identity. They often looked down on the native Irish and on > > Catholicism which was the denomination that most had fought to get rid > > of in Scotland in the 1500s, so that limited the tendency for > > inter-marriage, though for all that there were plenty of mixed > > marriages. But overall the Ulster – Scots, a high percentage of whom > > were Presbyterian tended to marry each other. (There were Scots > > Catholics and Episcopalians who settled in Ireland too, but the > > majority were Presbyterian). This tendency can be found in Ireland > > even today and in part accounts for the separate identity that many in > Ulster still feel, which is why they often identify as Ulster- Scots, > rather than Irish. > > > > > > You ask about illegitimacy and the churches attitude. There was > > > plenty > > of illegitimacy around. One study I read suggested that about 1% of > > births were illegitimate in the mid 1800s. There were local exceptions > > especially if there was a workhouse in the area, and workhouse births > > distorted the > > figures: > > > > > > > > http://www.historyireland.com/18th-19th-century-history/a-sexual-revol > > ution-in-the-west-of-ireland/ > > > > > > Before the Poor Law was introduced c 1840, the churches were > > > responsible > > for supporting the poor in their congregations. Consequently they took > > a great interest in illegitimate children because they might have to > > support them financially. Presbyterians usually called a woman with an > > illegitimate child up before the Kirk Session and asked her who the > > father was. If she revealed that, he too was summoned and interviewed. > > He was put under pressure to support the child, and to marry the woman > if she was willing. > > They had to admit their sins in front of the congregation > > (ante-nuptial fornication), and were denied Communion for a while. > > Sometimes they had to sit separately from the rest of the > > congregation. Records of these examinations can be found in the Kirk > Session minutes where they survive. > > (Usually in PRONI). Other denominations also pursued errant fathers > > though – in my opinion - not always with the same determination as > Presbyterians. > > > > > > You can spot some illegitimate children in the 1901 & 1911 censuses > > where they have been “adopted” by the grandparents. They appear as > > the apparent extra son or daughter of a woman in her 60s, so the > > family were evidently often doing their best to reduce the stigma. > > > > > > In my own family I have an ancestor who had 2 illegitimate children > > > over > > a 3 year period around 1825. The Kirk Session minutes show that the > > alleged father readily agreed he was the father of the first and paid > > up, but he said he was not the father of the second and refused to > > pay, so the church paid for that child for a while. Eventually 1 child > > died. Then the mother was arrested for burglary and theft. (She stole > > a bundle of clothes because she was living rough and destitute). She > > was taken into custody and eventually transported. Her remaining son > > was looked after by her married sister. So the family sort of rallied > round in some cases, I would say. > > > > > > > > > > > > Elwyn > > > > > > On Sun, 21 Jun 2020 at 13:11, Marion via CoTyroneList < > > cotyronelist@cotyroneireland.com> wrote: > > > Hello all, > > > I wonder if anyone can tell me or suggest where I might find out > > > about > > marriage customs in nineteenth century Ireland, particularly amongst > > Ulster Scots. Were they based on social, cultural or religious factors > > ? Did the bride and groom have much input ? Were protestant and Roman > > Catholic approaches very different? > > > Also what were the attitudes to illegitimacy by family members and > > society at large? How were the mothers and children treated ? > > > Thank you in advance for your help ! > > > Regards Marion Shephard > > > > > > Sent from Mail for Windows 10 > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > > CoTyroneList Mailing List > > > Mailing List Email Address: CoTyroneList@cotyroneireland.com Change > > > Your Preferences: > > http://cotyroneireland.com/mailman/listinfo/cotyronelist_cotyroneirela > > nd.com > > > Mailing List Archive: https://goo.gl/mQCKrY > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > > CoTyroneList Mailing List > > > Mailing List Email Address: CoTyroneList@cotyroneireland.com Change > > > Your Preferences: > > http://cotyroneireland.com/mailman/listinfo/cotyronelist_cotyroneirela > > nd.com > > > Mailing List Archive: https://goo.gl/mQCKrY > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > CoTyroneList Mailing List > > Mailing List Email Address: CoTyroneList@cotyroneireland.com Change > > Your Preferences: > > http://cotyroneireland.com/mailman/listinfo/cotyronelist_cotyroneirela > > nd.com Mailing List Archive: https://goo.gl/mQCKrY > > > _______________________________________________ > CoTyroneList Mailing List > Mailing List Email Address: CoTyroneList@cotyroneireland.com Change Your > Preferences: > http://cotyroneireland.com/mailman/listinfo/cotyronelist_cotyroneireland.com > Mailing List Archive: https://goo.gl/mQCKrY > > _______________________________________________ CoTyroneList Mailing List Mailing List Email Address: CoTyroneList@cotyroneireland.com Change Your Preferences: http://cotyroneireland.com/mailman/listinfo/cotyronelist_cotyroneireland.com Mailing List Archive: https://goo.gl/mQCKrY
