Here are a few chuckles, true exchanges between pilots and the tower: Rob 3040H >>----------------------- >>The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a >>three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between >>aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two >>thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane? >>Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four >>thousand dollars worth!" >>----------------------- >>PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the >>tower and said "Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, >>so go ahead and let PSA go first." The tower promptly cleared PSA for >>takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation. >>----------------------- >>A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing with his approach >>speed just a little too high. San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn >>right at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of >>Highway 101 and return to the airport." >>----------------------- >>Western Airlines had a term for its second officers. The term was "GIB," >>which stood for, "Guy In Back." The term was strictly unofficial and was >>actually frowned upon by the management at Western. It seems that some >>wise-guy pilot had been browsing through a dictionary and had made the >>discovery that a "gib" is a castrated tomcat. >>----------------------- >>It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a Piper Malibu was being >>vectored into a long line of airliners in order to land at Kansas City. >>KC Approach: "Malibu three-two-Charlie, you're following a 727, one >>o'clock and three miles." >>Three-two-Charlie: "We've got him. We'll follow him." >>KC Approach: "Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven >>o'clock and three miles. Do you have that traffic?" >>Delta 105 (long pause and then in a thick southern drawl): "Well ...I've >>got something down there. Can't quite tell if it's a Malibu or a >>Chevelle, though." >>----------------------- >>Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7." >>Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure ... by the way, >>as we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the >>runway." >>Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on >>124.7; did you copy the report from Eastern?" >>Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff ... and yes, we >>copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers." >>----------------------- >>O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, >>3 miles, eastbound." >>United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this ... I've got that >>Fokker in sight." >>----------------------- >>The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered >>lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but >>how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some >>amusement that we (a PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange >>between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign >>"Speedbird 206") after landing: >>Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the >>active runway." >>Ground: "Guten Morgen! You vill taxi to your gate!" >>The British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and stopped. >>Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know vare you are going?" >>Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now." >>Ground (with impatience): "Speedbird 206, haff you never flown to >>Frankfurt before?" >>Speedbird 206 (cooly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop." >>-=-=-=-== > __________________________________________________________________________ ______ To unsubscribe from this list please send mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] _____________________________________________________________ Want to find the best email lists? Check out the Topica 20! http://www.topica.com/topica20
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