R. A. Hettinga wrote:



Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Paying for drinks with wave
 of the hand
Club-goers in Spain get implanted chips for ID, payment purposes
Posted: April 14, 2004
5:00 p.m. Eastern


"A new crime is sweeping the nation. Criminals everywhere are now cloning implanted chips of passerby well to do rich. Some have been caught hiding outside the bushes of the rich with a high powered RFID transponder, waiting for their victims to drive by. Congress has been presented with a bill outlawing all RFID readers, except by store owners."


"In the news today, actress Jennifer Lopez has been found dead in a dumpster near a shady street with her hand severed. Her American Express implant chip records show that unscrupulous fiends have ran up several million dollars in bar tabs all over downtown Los Angeles, and several large money wire transfers to Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, and Iran. Ms. Lopez apparently instructed AMEX to remove all her daily spending limits on her credit chip after her chip refused her intended purchases at her local Porsche dealer. A recorded conversation with AMEX customer support reveals she believe it cramped her style.

"The FBI is searching for her killers. Special Agent Tom Jones said that no further information will be made available at this time, as that the FBI does not wish to comment on an ongoing investigation since it may aid the perpetrators, and that citizens should switch to cash immediately.

"Random J. Citizen on the street commented: 'Well, what do you expect? Congress Outlawed RFID readers, and now the thugs have resorted to chopping off hands.'

"Meanwhile thousands of implanted citizens are suing American Express for refusing to allow removal of their credit card chips, some demanding billions of dollars for their severed hands."


"In an unsurprising move today, CEO Jim Jones of American Express Corporation has stepped down after his company recently filed for Chapter 11 protection after Visa Corporation backed out of purchase negotiations."

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