-Caveat Lector-

"JUSTINIAN & THEODORA" STARS BILL & HILLARY
===========================================

(CNNS, 02/10/99) -- In  these  dark  days,  with Bill & Hillary's
power about to become UNTOUCHABLE, a plan for light entertainment
is contemplated, as a  way  to  take  our  minds  off  inevitable
decline.

The  play  would  be  called "Justinian & Theodora."  The cast of
characters:

JUSTINIAN (played  by  Bill  Clinton):   Justinian  is emperor of
Byzantium, 518 A.D. through 565 A.D. From the book,  "The  Secret
History," by Procopius, we ascertain the character of Justinian:

  For  without  the slightest hesitation he used to embark on
  the inexcusable murdering of his fellow-men [e.g. the Sudan
  Aspirin  factory]  and  the  plundering  of  other people's
  property [e.g. asset forfeiture]; and it did not matter  to
  him  how many thousands lost their lives, although they had
  given him no provocation whatever.

  Well,  then,  this  emperor   [Justinian,  played  by  Bill
  Clinton] was dissembling, crafty,  hypocritical,  secretive
  by  temperament, two-faced; a clever fellow with marvellous
  ability to  conceal  his  real  opinion,  and  able to shed
  tears, not from any  joy  or  sorrow,  but  employing  them
  artfully  when  required  in  accordance with the immediate
  need, lying all the time...

  [Procopius further opines that],  when  a man cares nothing
  for the infamy of his actions, and does not hesitate to  be
  known  to  all and sundry as a revolting character, no path
  of  lawlessness  is  closed  to  him,  but  armed  with the
  shamelessness visible at  every  moment  in  his  face,  he
  advances  cheerfully and without any misgivings to the most
  loathsome deeds.

THEODORA  (played  by  Hillary  Clinton):   Theodora  is  wife of
Justinian.  She is the real power in  Byzantium.   She  rules  as
emperess ca.  518 A.D. until her death ca.  547/548 A.D. From the
historian Procopius, we see some of the character of Theodora:

  Now we must sketch the outlines of what she and her husband
  did  in  unison,  for  neither  did anything apart from the
  other to the end of their  joint lives.  For a long time it
  was universally believed that they were exact  opposites...
  but  later it was recognized that this false impression had
  been deliberately fostered to make sure that their subjects
  did not put their  own  differences aside and rebel against
  them, but were all divided in  their  feelings  about  them
  [i.e. Justinian & Theodora, played by Bill & Hillary.]

BYZANTIUM  (played  by  Washington,  DC):  According to Procopius
(who Gibbon, in his book, "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire,"
although he "criticizes the  =tone=  of 'The Secret History,' had
no  hesitation  in  reproducing  its  statements  as  objectively
true..."  [1]), the  character  of  Byzantium  is  summarized  as
follows:

  ...like  any  other disease the infection that began in the
  capital rapidly spread all over the Roman Empire.

  [Byzantium]  gathered  into  [its]  own  hands  the private
  property of all the Romans in every land,  either  accusing
  them  of  some  crime  they had never committed, or coaxing
  them into the belief that they had made a free gift.

THE SENATE (played by the U.S. Senate): Says Procopius:

  Sad to say, not even  one  member of the Senate, seeing the
  State straddling itself with  this  disgrace,  saw  fit  to
  protest...

---------------------------<< Notes >>---------------------------
[1]  From  Introduction  to "The Secret History," Penguin Classic
edition (1966) by G.A. Williamson.


Brian Redman       | [EMAIL PROTECTED] | www.shout.net/~bigred/cn.html
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