-Caveat Lector-

BILL CLINTON CONJURES (WITH) JUSTINIAN
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(CNNS, 02/10/99) -- The  Latin  *coniuratio*  (conspiracy,  plot)
yields  to  the  French  *conjuration* (conspiracy, exorcism) and
bifurcates into the English pair: conspiracy/conjure.

Bill Clinton has conjured up the Byzantine emperor Justinian.  He
seeks  Justinian's  advice.    Together  they  conspire  (breathe
together).  As Hillary Clinton conjures Eleanor  Roosevelt,  Bill
Clinton conjures Justinian.

Bill Clinton, like Tiberius  Caesar,  finds  he cannot sleep.  In
the dark hours of night, like  Lincoln  before  him,  he  summons
forth the departed -- someone to talk with.  Let us listen to the
talk between Bill Clinton and Justinian:


JUSTINIAN: Who DARES summon the Immortal!?

CLINTON: It is I, Bill Clinton, of Arkansas.

JUSTINIAN: Puny man, knowest not thou to whomst thou speakest!?

CLINTON: No. Not exactly.

JUSTINIAN:   It is =I=, the Illustrious; Justinian, Supreme Ruler
of All Kingdoms, Terror of East  and West.  Kneel thou dog!  Else
thou shalt be thrown into the dungeons of Theodora!

CLINTON:  But I am Clinton, also a King.  Many women kneel before
me.

JUSTINIAN: Comest thou under a flag of truce!?

CLINTON: Yes. I come to parley.

JUSTINIAN: Hast thou GOLD to offer!?

CLINTON:  No.  I  have,  though,  these  Federal  Reserve  notes.
[Places paper money on table.]

JUSTINIAN:   FOOL!!!   What good be these silly parchments!  They
shall be burned, dog, together with thyself!

CLINTON:  I can offer much blood.   Many are the innocents I have
ordered killed.

JUSTINIAN:   (Considers.)   Very  well.   Much   blood   is   the
provenance of kings.

CLINTON: I seek advice, Oh Illustrious One. How best must I rule?

JUSTINIAN: Thou begs for wisdom?

CLINTON: Yes, Oh Illustrious One.

JUSTINIAN: Then listen well.
  When I ascended to the throne, it took only a very little while
for  me  to  bring  everything  into  confusion.  Things hitherto
forbidden by law were one by  one brought into public life, while
established customs were swept away.  I quickly sought to  invest
myself with new forms of majesty by changing things to new forms.
I  did  so not because justice required the upheaval, but only so
everything might have a new look and be associated with my NAME.
  See thou not my cunning?

CLINTON: Yes. The new forms all bore your name.

JUSTINIAN:  Of the forcible seizure of property and the murder of
my subjects I was never sated.  The Senators learned soon to fear
the power of my arm.
  But the peasants,  the  backward  rural  folk,  held to the old
beliefs.  So I sent out at once  an  army  of  officials.   These
officials  forced  everyone  they  met  to renounce his ancestral
beliefs.  Yet in the eyes of country people such a suggestion was
blasphemy; so they resolved  one  and  all  to stand their ground
against the men who made this demand.

CLINTON:  Oh I can identify with that!   These  rural  folks  are
dead-set against me!  But I just had my buddies at Shell Oil do a
never-ending  commercial,  about  evil  rednecks  in  old pick-up
trucks.  Ha, ha, ha!   I  made  it  like they were all predators,
stalking defenseless women!! Ha-ha!

JUSTINIAN: Silence, fool! Or you hear no more.

CLINTON: Yes, Oh Illustrious One.

JUSTINIAN:  A religious cult, the Montanists,  defied  me.   They
were  established  in Phrygia.  They (it is said) shut themselves
up in their own churches and at once set these buildings on fire.

CLINTON:  Oh, wow!  I mean, WOW!  That is just like what happened
with me!  Down in Waco, Texas,  the Branch Davidians (it is said)
set their own church on fire.

JUSTINIAN: Thou talkest much.
  The rural folk continued to defy me.  The peasants, at  a  mass
meeting, resolved as one man to take up arms against the Emperor.
They  joined battle with the soldiers and held out for some time.
But in the end, they lost the fight and were cut to pieces.
  At last, to avoid being caught,  every man was glad to exchange
his homeland for another country, as if his own had  fallen  into
enemy hands.

CLINTON:   Not here, where I am King!  Here we've got a big "Dump
Here" sign, given  us  like  a  Trojan  Horse,  by  the French, a
cunning strategy they....

JUSTINIAN: "French"? I know not the name.

CLINTON: Uh, Gaul, in your time.
  Yeah, they gave us this "gift", a Trojan Horse  it  was.   They
called  it the Statue of Liberty!  It was like a big neon sign to
the world:  "Dump Excess  Here."   But our people aren't accepted
by them, those other nations, if they want to  get  out  of  this
country.  So we just build lots of dungeons (you'd call them) and
that's where =we= dump =our= excess.
  So it's not like in your time. No one now can flee.

JUSTINIAN:  Thou art  a  prattler  and  a  chatterer.  Thou art a
child in the sinister ways of power.  Depart, foolish one.   Thou
canst nay be the power. I look for the true power in thy kingdom.

CLINTON: Oh, you mean Hillary? Will you talk with her sometime?

JUSTINIAN:   Conjure  again, and mayhaps Theodora will speak with
thy woman.

[Source: *The Secret History* by Procopius.]


Brian Redman       | [EMAIL PROTECTED] | www.shout.net/~bigred/cn.html
Editor-in-Chief    | ---------------Phone: 217-356-4418----------------
Conspiracy Nation  |       "The perfect slave thinks he's free."

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