-Caveat Lector-

HILLARY CLINTON CONJURES (WITH) THEODORA
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(CNNS, 02/15/99) --  In  another  part  of  the building, Hillary
Clinton does her necromancy.  She summons the departed spirit  of
Eleanor Roosevelt. Hillary *coniuret cum* Eleanor:
---

HILLARY: Speak to me, oh Eleanor. Come forth!

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT: I am here.

HILLARY: Speak, Sister, as you wish.

ELEANOR  ROOSEVELT:  It was first Teddy.  It was second Franklin.
It is third William Jefferson.
  In the  beginning  was  Theodore.   (We  called  him  "Teddy.")
Mightily  troubled  by  Ida  Tarbell  was  the  State.   Mightily
troubled  by  Josiah  Flynt  was the State.  Mightily troubled by
Lincoln Steffens was  the  State.   They  came  from nowhere, and
plaugued the New Money.  They were of the Old Money.   They  were
of  the  impoverished  gentility,  and  they linked arms with the
workers and frightful  unrest  was  seen.   (This happened in the
"Wild, Wild East," of which movies are not made.)
  But  Teddy  rode  the  wave, and directed the wave, and finally
turned the wave into nothing.

HILLARY:  The post office  must  never,  =ever=,  have a stamp to
honor Ida Tarbell!

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT:  Then came Franklin.  Again there was  unrest.
But  Franklin  rode  the wave, and directed the wave, and finally
turned the wave into nothing.

HILLARY: A fellow named Skolnick also sneers at Franklin.

ELEANOR  ROOSEVELT:  Then came the 1960s, and once more there was
upheaval.  And  the  death  of  John  Kennedy  did  not still the
unrest.  But William Jefferson now rides the  wave,  and  directs
the wave, and finally the wave turns into nothing.

HILLARY:  Sister, I am troubled though by the  sexual  wanderings
of William Jefferson.

ELEANOR  ROOSEVELT:   I  too had my troubles with Franklin.  So I
wandered likewise.  On  March  5,  1943,  I secretly rendezvoused
with Joe Lash at the Urbana-Lincoln Hotel in Urbana, Illinois.

HILLARY:  Yes, I too had  rendezvouses.   Vince  and  I  had  our
times.   But  now he's dead.  Maybe I should turn to women.  Will
that satisfy me?

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT:  I myself was  so lonesome, I was tempted.  In
fact.... fact....  I am fading.  Another spirit seeks control.  I
am fading....

THEODORA: ....I gain control! It is I, Theodora!!

HILLARY: And what can you tell me?

THEODORA: I can tell you plenty, yellow-hair.

HILLARY: Begone, whoever you are.

THEODORA: First, I will beguile you, yellow-hair, with a tale.
  I was but a child when our  father  died.   I  was  the  second
daughter,  of  three.   In  our poverty, we were paraded into the
circus, begging alms.   The  Green  Party  ridiculed us; the Blue
Party was kind. I have forevermore been of the Blue Party.
  I was but a child.  I had not yet  the  womanly  equipment.   I
served  as  a  boy prostitute, until my equipment had matured.  I
served sex to even the slaves, in my child days.
  I became an actress, and  skilled  I  was.  And I lay with more
men than you can count -- some nights, ten men together.
  I went away with  an  important  man, away from Byzantium.  But
that man abandoned me and I was left  without  a  farthing  in  a
foreign  land.  But I know men and I know what they like.  I soon
had plenty of money.
  I returned to Byzantium  and  used  my  magic on Justinian.  He
fell madly in love and I became his queen.  Together we ruled the
world.
  And here begins the politics of my story.  For  by  now  I  had
withered up inside, and lusted only for power.

HILLARY:  You  sound  like  a  nymphomaniac.   My  husband  is  a
satyromaniac.

THEODORA:   (Belches.)   Ha-ha-ha!  You talk the priest-language.
They too use the mystery  words.  Be silent, yellow-hair.  I will
finish my tale.
   It  was  in  the   conception   of  *money*  as  an  abstract,
disconnected from the fruitful earth, that  the  Romans  had  the
advantage  of  the  Greeks.   Thenceforth  any high ideal of life
became mostly a question of money.
   To the world-city, yellow-hair, belongs not a folk but a mass:
The *panem et circunses* (bread and circuses) by day and the cheap
lodging houses by night.
   The new power was in  the  money.   It  was in the money power
that  the  historical  forms  were  penetrated,   often   without
destroying  or  even  disturbing  those forms.  The *form* of the
Roman state, yellow-hair, underwent very little change.
   The forms subsisted, but the decisions in fact lay elsewhere.
   The Roman  world  dominion  was  a  negative  phenomenon.  The
Romans did not conquer the world, they only  took  possession  of
booty  that  already lay open to all.  The *Imperium Romanum* was
not a surplus of energy on  one  side, but a deficiency of energy
on the other. Rome did not conquer; Rome absorbed the weaker.

HILLARY: So Rome was just a bunch of organized robbers?

THEODORA:  The booty lay open to all!  By her  superior  cunning,
Rome did conquer!
   Beneath  my  royal  apartments lay dungeons.  I secretly threw
into those dungeons the  many  who  displeased me.  Many were the
cruelties I exacted, yellow-hair.  Buzes I sent  into  my  secret
dungeons,  and he sat in darkness for 28 months, never knowing if
it were day or night.

HILLARY: We now keep them in constant daylight.

THEODORA: Learn from me, yellow-hair!
   None was more feared than I, not even Justinian.  But a cancer
at last gnawed at me, and at 45 years I died.

HILLARY: Did you at last, at your end, grow merciful?

THEODORA:  I did not!  As  Greece  subsumed into Rome, I subsumed
into Byzantium.  I was eaten up more by the  State  than  by  the
cancer. In the end, I was already long-dead.
   Learn from me, yellow-hair!

[Sources:  *The Secret History* by Procopius; *The Decline of the
West* by Oswald Spengler ]

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