-Caveat Lector-

from:
http://www.zolatimes.com/V3.11/pageone.html
<A HREF="http://www.zolatimes.com/V3.11/pageone.html">Laissez Faire City Times
- Volume 3 Issue 11</A>
-----
Laissez Faire City Times
March 15, 1999 - Volume 3, Issue 11
Editor & Chief: Emile Zola
-----
Silk Purses

by Zola


Al Gore created the Internet. Hillary Clinton hurt her back skiing. Bill
Clinton gave Juanita Broaddrick mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. The Dow
Jones Industrial Average is near 10,000 and all is well.

Well, maybe not.

Al Gore has delusions of grandeur. He was too busy hoeing tobacco to
become even marginally computer literate. He promoted the "information
superhighway" with only one purpose in mind: government control and
regulation of the Internet. Remember the Clipper Chip�the government�s
plan to put a communication backdoor into every personal computer, fax,
phone, and set-top TV converter? Al Gore went out to sell the Clipper
Chip to the American public. Remember ITAR restrictions on encryption
exports? These restrictions have the effect of "dumbing down" computer
security, and hence the security of the Internet. But Al Gore
nevertheless invited industry executives into his office to urge them to
support encryption export controls. Al Gore said, "Let�s make the
Internet available to every school child." And then he promptly
introduced the idea of censorship: "We must protect the children. We
must keep them from seeing pornography on the Internet. We must keep
them from reading Matt Drudge. We must make sure they visit the White
House web site and receive daily doses of government propaganda."

Hillary Clinton has long bent over backward to cover her husband�s
criminal behavior. But she is not the "injured woman." Rather, she is
Bill�s facilitator, covering for him when there is excess publicity.
Even so, she didn�t go with Bill on his trip to Central America. She had
already viewed the hurricane damage, thank you. Instead she went to New
York to see about running for senator and to discuss damages with her
divorce lawyer. She wants half of everything Bill has�including the
codes necessary to launch nuclear missiles. She doesn�t worry about the
money�that�s already in her name. As for Bill, he�ll find someone else
to pay the bills, as he always has.

Juanita Broaddrick? Who cares? She scarcely made the news. After
heroically saving her life (what else could have possibly happened?),
Bill thought about buying her a new pair of panty hose. "The crotchless
kind last longer," he would have explained.

I was watching one of the guest stock commentators on CNBC. He was
relating why he interpreted Alan Greenspan�s congressional testimony as
bullish: "I understood him as saying he will be adding more liquidity,
and that money will go into the stock market, and drive stock prices
higher." What a wonderful world! This bozo thinks it�s great that (as he
assumes) Greenspan will create more pieces of Federal Reserve paper, and
these pieces of paper will be exchanged for stock market paper, and
stock prices will go up. That way the American public will feel even
wealthier, and the savings rate�which has already fallen to zero�may
even become negative! With no savings, there is no capital formation. So
where are those future corporate profits going to come from that will
pay the dividends implied by the high level of stock prices? Who
knows�and who cares! Many Internet companies have never made a profit,
and look how their stocks have taken off! Profits were the old paradigm!
It�s the new digital economy, turning sand into computer chips! If we
need more capital, we�ll go to the beach! If we need more savings, we�ll
rape and plunder the Social Security Trust Fund surplus! If we need more
savings, we�ll borrow it from the rest of the world through a massive
current account ("trade") deficit! Whatsa matter with you, girl? You got
a run in your stockings?

Recently it has become increasingly clear that the whole stock market
boom is based on leveraged finance, and it has been going on for years.
With the right lever, Archimedes could move the world. With the right
money leverage, you can jack up stock prices. Households have become
increasingly indebted, especially through home equity loans, and have
increasingly plowed money into the stock market. Corporate takeovers and
leveraged buyouts have bid up stock prices using the vehicles of bond
and bank financing. Corporations have used portions of their cash flow
to buy back their own stock. But who can argue with it? We�re
prosperous, aren�t we? The Dow is near 10,000, isn�t it? The rest of the
world is going to hell in a hand basket, and we�re grabbing and consumi
ng all their savings, ha, ha! It�s Lincoln Bedroom living on a beer
budget!

All is well and only the foolish think about insurance. Like me and my
put with a Dow 9500 strike. The market will almost surely close above
this level before the option expires on March 18th. It is now clear that
the option was a waste of money. Come to think of it, I want the money
back from my car insurance payments of the last 20 years also. Whatever
was I thinking of? There have been no accidents�not one. Yet . . .
somehow I have a much greater fear of getting clobbered by the stock
market than being run into by another car. But that fear must be
irrational. I mean, Bill Clinton�s president, isn�t he? And Geraldo
Rivera is protecting us from the terrorists down in Little Rock.

I guess one thing that worries me is the government keeps worrying about
things while telling us not to. The only thing we have to fear is fear
itself (not to mention the Internet), they say. We�re living in the
middle of the greatest prosperity in history. Social Security is sound.
The federal budget is in surplus. We�re the greatest superpower there
ever was. There are no foreign missiles pointed at America�s
children�not a single one!

But why, in the middle of our great prosperity, do we have to borrow so
much from the rest of the world? If Social Security is sound, why do we
keep having to "save" it? If the federal budget is in surplus, why is
federal government debt growing at $100 billion a year? If we are such a
superpower, why is the U.S. military out conducting simulated responses
to anthrax and sarin gas attacks on urban areas  simulations in which
the local citizens are terrorized by helicopters and special forces? And
if there are no missiles pointed at America�s children, what�s all this
talk about Chinese spies? What�s there to worry about? I mean, Bill
Clinton�s president. And Geraldo Rivera is down in Little Rock,
protecting us from the terrorists. That ought to provide some comfort.

But somehow, somewhere, the thought keeps reoccurring: No matter how
hard you try, you just can�t make a silk purse out of a sow�s ear.

-30-

from The Laissez Faire City Times, Vol 3, No 11, March 15, 1999
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Published by
Laissez Faire City Netcasting Group, Inc.
Copyright 1998 - Trademark Registered with LFC Public Registrar
All Rights Reserved
-----
Aloha, He'Ping,
Om, Shalom, Salaam.
Em Hotep, Peace Be,
Omnia Bona Bonis,
All My Relations.
Adieu, Adios, Aloha.
Amen.
Roads End
Kris








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