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---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 17 Jan 2003 08:43:34 -0700
From: Media Research Center <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Reply-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: MRC Alert: ABC Showcases Anti-Bush 'Daisy' Ad, But in 2000

               ***Media Research Center CyberAlert***
    12:45pm EST, Friday January 17, 2003 (Vol. Eight; No. 10)
  The 1,417th CyberAlert. Tracking Liberal Media Bias Since 1996

ABC Showcases Anti-Bush "Daisy" Ad, But in 2000...; GMA: Anti-Gore
Ad "Nasty", Anti-Bush Ad: "Inspiring"; ABC & CBS Champion How
Public Turning Against War, But...; Media Bias? Tax Cut Plan
"Unfair," But Every Element Favored; NY Times Repeats Itself on
Bush Using Loaded "Quotas" Term; ABC's Shipman Rues Lewinsky
Scandal Anniversary; "Top Ten Ways Kim Jong Il Can Improve His
Image"

    #### Distributed to more than 11,600 recipients by the Media
Research Center, bringing political balance to the news media
since 1987. The MRC is the leader in documenting, exposing and
neutralizing liberal media bias. Visit the MRC on the Web:
http://www.mediaresearch.org. CyberAlerts from this year are at:
http://www.mediaresearch.org/archive/cyber/welcome.asp For 2002:
http://www.mediaresearch.org/archive/cyber/archive02.asp
    Subscribe/unsubscribe information, as well as a link to the
MRC donations page, are at the end of this message.
    When posted, this CyberAlert will be readable at:
http://www.mediaresearch.org/cyberalerts/2003/cyb20030117.asp ####

1) A little over two years ago ABC's World News Tonight fretted
over how an anti-Gore ad modeled after the 1964 anti-Goldwater
"daisy" ad had "been seen by millions for free and without much
analysis" and condemned its content, but on Thursday night with a
left-wing group out with a new "daisy"-like countdown to nuclear
annihilation ad against President Bush's Iraq policy, while Peter
Jennings noted how "its creators are probably...hoping for a lot
of free publicity," ABC proceeded to give it and use the ad to
marvel at how "the anti-war movement has gone from the streets to
the information highway."

2) In 2000, Good Morning America news reader Antonio Mora cited
the anti-Gore "daisy" ad as an example of how of how "nastiness is
coming from a mysterious group that has produced a new TV ad that
suggests Gore could draw the U.S. into nuclear war." But on
Thursday morning, in showcasing a "daisy"-like ad which noxiously
suggests that Bush's Iraq policy will lead to nuclear destruction,
Diane Sawyer trumpeted how "Americans are going to see something
new on television in major cities all across the country, brought
to you by an anti-war movement...a TV ad campaign in 13 major
cities inspired by a famous anti-war ad from the '60s."

3) In championing the anti-war movement, ABC and CBS have
highlighted poll numbers showing support falling for taking action
against Iraq, but a new Fox News poll found support increasing, or
at least holding steady. On Thursday's World News Tonight, anchor
Peter Jennings told Terry Moran: "We know there's a lot of anti-
war sentiment in the country and from the President's allies
even."

4) More Americans consider President Bush's tax plan to be
"unfair" than "fair," but a Fox News poll discovered that when
asked for their assessment of each major element of it, a majority
agreed with five of the six parts of it, by up to a massive 82
point margin, and the sixth earned solid plurality support. Could
media bias explain the disparity? Those polled heard repeatedly in
the news about how Bush's plan was unfair.

5) The New York Times repeated itself. Two separate New York Times
stories on Thursday included the identical sentence about how
President Bush used the term "quotas" because it's "a word that
inevitably draws strong opposition in polls."

6) Marking the five year anniversary of the Monica Lewinsky story
breaking, on Thursday's Good Morning America Claire Shipman
recalled how the revelation came when "the White House was busy
building a bridge to the 21st century." She bemoaned how "the
images of a husband, a father, a family struggling to cope with a
personal crisis were shared with the entire country." Shipman also
marveled at how though Clinton and Lewinsky "spent only ten hours
together...it almost brought down a President." And she recalled
how a "colleague" told her of the anniversary: "It's like a bad
acid flashback, I can't take it!"

7) Letterman's "Top Ten Ways Kim Jong Il Can Improve His Image."


    > 1) ABC News 2000 vs. 2003, part one. A little over two years
ago ABC's World News Tonight fretted over how an anti-Gore ad
modeled after the 1964 anti-Goldwater "daisy" ad had "been seen by
millions for free and without much analysis" and condemned its
content, but on Thursday night with a left-wing group out with a
new "daisy"-like countdown to nuclear annihilation ad against
President Bush, while Peter Jennings noted how "its creators are
probably...hoping for a lot of free publicity," ABC proceeded to
give it some and use the ad to marvel at how "the anti-war
movement has gone from the streets to the information highway."

    Back on October 27, 2000 then-ABC reporter Aaron Brown
highlighted the ad from an independent groups which used the daisy
girl countdown to an atomic explosion concept to draw attention to
its claims that Gore sold out national security for campaign
donations from China. That didn't sit well with Brown: "It mimics
a 1964 ad on whether Republican Barry Goldwater could be trusted
with nuclear weapons. In '64 the ad's sponsors never intended to
pay much money to place it on television. It ran only once. The
news media gave it all the play, and here we go again."

    Brown continued: "We've been able to confirm only four
stations that have actually run the ad at a cost of about a
thousand dollars. Nevertheless, the ad has received extraordinary
attention. It was the subject of an article in today's New York
Times. It aired in part on Good Morning America and on cable
channels, and it's all part of a plan by its producer, Carey
Cramer, to get attention for nothing....The Bush campaign has
asked that the ad be pulled. Cramer's group, whose address is a
Texas mail drop, will decide tonight. By then, the ad will have
been seen by millions for free and without much analysis."

    Brown the turned Kathleen Hall Jamieson, Dean of Annenberg
School for Communication, to condemn the ad: "It's hoping that by
getting aired without commentary about its inaccuracy and its
hyperbolic nature, that the ideas will seep through in news and
thus have an impact."

    So, in 2000, ABC's World News Tonight waited until the ad ran
before noting it and then condemned it. This year, ABC ran clips
of the ad before the ad had actually run as a commercial anywhere
and did not condemn an any way its implication that Bush's policy
toward Iraq will lead to nuclear annihilation.

    See for yourself. Here's how ABC treated the left-wing ad
Thursday night, though reporter Brian Rooney innocuously described
the group behind the ad, moveon.org, simply as a group "that
espouses political causes over the Internet."

    Peter Jennings set up the January 16 story:
    "An anti-war group called 'MoveOn.org' that's organized
primarily over the Internet, today started airing a television
commercial opposing war against Saddam Hussein. The ad remakes one
of the most notorious political attack ads ever, and it is
supposedly airing in 12 cities, though its creators are probably
also hoping for a lot of free publicity. Here's ABC's Brian
Rooney."

    Rooney's story began with a clip of the ad with a little girl
pulling pedals off a daisy flower as she says "one, two."
    Rooney recalled, as transcribed by MRC analyst Brad Wilmouth:
"For many Americans who remember the '60s, it's a familiar image.
The little girl with the daisy overshadowed by war spinning out of
control."
    Clip of ad: "Maybe the unthinkable. Maybe that's why Americans
are saying to President Bush, 'Let the inspections work.'"
    Rooney: "It's a remake of that famous 1964 commercial Lyndon
Johnson ran -- just once -- to say Barry Goldwater might lead the
country to war. [shot of 1964 ad with Johnson's voice: "three,
two, one, zero."] This new version is made by a group called 'Move
On' that espouses political causes over the Internet."
    Eli Pariser, MoveOn.org: "The goal is really to start a
national conversation about these important issues that we're
facing."
    Rooney: "Like a protest in Los Angeles today in which 17
people were arrested, the anti-war movement is still relatively
small but appears to be growing with a lot of help from the
Internet. Organizations are posting pages and linking with each
other."
    Alistair Millar, Winning Without War: "We can show strength
and raise money by just sitting at a computer rather than having
to go out in the street."
    Rooney: "Organizers say they're reaching a lot of working
adults who are making connections through Web sites."
    Stephen Fine, Neighbors for Peace and Justice: "It's not like
the entire anti-war movement has shifted to the Internet, no. It's
just become another tool, an extremely valuable tool."
    Rooney concluded: "The $100,000 to air the new 'daisy ad' was
raised over the Internet. The anti-war movement has gone from the
streets to the information highway. Brian Rooney, ABC News, Los
Angeles."

    With a very accommodating traditional over the air broadcast
media all to eager to help the cause.

    On Wednesday night this week the CBS Evening News used the new
anti-Bush ad to highlight how there's "a growing anti-war backlash
that's about to get a lot more vocal." See:
http://www.mediaresearch.org/cyberalerts/2003/cyb20030116.asp#2

    MoveOn.org has placed the ad at the top of its Web page where
you can see it in RealMedia and MPEG: http://www.moveon.org/

    The text of the ad as I took it down:
    Girl picking daisy: "One, two." (continues in background)
    Announcer: "War with Iraq. Maybe it will end quickly. Maybe
not. Maybe it will spread."
    War scenes, male countdown voice: "Ten, nine."
    Announcer, over war video, anti-U.S. protesters: "Maybe
extremists will take over countries with nuclear weapons."
    Countdown announcer: "Five, four, three, two, one."
    Announcer, as ad zooms in on face of girl: "Maybe the
unthinkable."
    Countdown announcer: "Zero."
    Video of explosion with mushroom cloud, announcer: "Maybe
that's why Americans are saying to President Bush: Let the
inspections work."

    For more on the 2000 ad, see a rare Saturday CyberAlert:
http://www.mediaresearch.org/cyberalerts/2000/cyb20001028.asp#1
http://www.mediaresearch.org/cyberalerts/2000/cyb20001028.asp#2



    > 2) ABC News 2000 vs. 2003, part two. In 2000, Good Morning
America news reader Antonio Mora cited the anti-Gore "daisy" ad as
an "example" of how of how "nastiness is coming from a mysterious
group that has produced a new TV ad that suggests Gore could draw
the U.S. into nuclear war." But on Thursday morning this week, in
showcasing a "daisy"-like ad which noxiously suggests that Bush's
Iraq policy will lead to nuclear annihilation, co-host Diane
Sawyer trumpeted how "Americans are going to see something new on
television in major cities all across the country, brought to you
by an anti-war movement...a TV ad campaign in 13 major cities
inspired by a famous anti-war ad from the '60s."

    When the target is Bush, ABC sees it as inspirational. When
the target was Gore, it was nasty.

    Dipping into the MRC archive, MRC analyst Jessica Anderson
tracked down how Mora summarized some "nasty" events in the final
days of the campaign. After citing phone calls in Michigan which
blamed Bush for nursing home deaths in Texas, Mora intoned on the
Friday October 27, 2000 GMA:
    "A different example of nastiness is coming from a mysterious
group that has produced a new TV ad that suggests Gore could draw
the U.S. into nuclear war. The ad mimics Lyndon Johnson's infamous
daisy commercial and accuses the Democrats of endangering the U.S.
by giving nuclear secrets to China. At the end of the ad, a
nuclear explosion is shown, followed by the words, 'Vote
Republican.' It's not known who put up the money for the ad."

    On Thursday morning this week, GMA brought aboard the man
behind the anti-Bush ad and while Sawyer did question him about
how many Americans agree with his position, she in no way
condemned the noxious theme of the ad. As tough as she got was to
wonder if the ad "is sensationalistic?"

    Sawyer set up the January 16 segment: "Starting today,
Americans are going to see something new on television in major
cities all across the country, brought to you by an anti-war
movement, a group claiming its membership doubled in the last
month. It is a TV ad campaign in 13 major cities inspired by a
famous anti-war ad from the '60s. We'll take a look at the new
one, but first, the one you remember."

    After brief clips of the 1964 and new ad, Sawyer noted: "Well,
that new ad from Moveon.org is designed by Eli Pariser, who joins
us now, and good to have you with us, Mr. Pariser."
    Pariser: "Good to be here."
    Sawyer: "First of all, the group you work with says that the
membership is one million people and doubling every month. You can
prove it's one million people? Where?"
    Pariser: "Well, we have a million people on our e-mail list
around the world -- it's actually over that. We're not quite
doubling every month, but in the last 24 hours, we had 20,000 new
people sign up on our e-mail list and that's basically the way we
do organizing. We get people in and help them figure out what to
do."
    Sawyer: "As you know, Americans in polls have shown that they
are overwhelmingly in support of a war with Iraq, and a lot of
them will probably argue to you that the real danger of nuclear
conflagration comes from doing nothing if Saddam Hussein doesn't
disarm. If he doesn't disarm through diplomatic means, what would
you do? Just let him stay there with his weapons of mass
destruction?"

    Sawyer wondered: "A lot of money involved in this to put these
ads on the airwaves. Where is the money coming from?"

    Sawyer gently suggested the ad may have gone too far: "Think
this is sensationalistic? That original ad back in the '60s only
ran once. It was pulled off the airwaves.."

    But Sawyer gave Pariser a platform: "And members of Congress
are listening to you, you say?"
    Pariser: "Well, yeah. I mean, I think they have to listen to
the concern of our country. Many Americans are really worried that
we need to let these inspections work, that we can't rush to war."

    Sawyer ended with another plug: "Alright. Again, Mr. Pariser,
thank you, and as we said, you'll be seeing those ads in major
cities on television starting today."

    For more on 2000 coverage, see:
http://www.mrc.org/cyberalerts/2000/cyb20001027_extra.asp
http://www.mediaresearch.org/cyberalerts/2000/cyb20001028.asp#1

    For the text of the new left-wing ad, see the end of item #1
above.



    > 3) In championing the anti-war movement, ABC and CBS have
highlighted poll numbers showing support falling for taking action
against Iraq, but a new Fox News poll found support increasing, or
at least holding steady.

    On Thursday's World News Tonight, anchor Peter Jennings told
Terry Moran: "We know there's a lot of anti-war sentiment in the
country and from the President's allies even. How much affect does
that have at the White House." Moran countered that the White
House disputes the premise and cites polls showing overwhelming
agreement with the Bush policy.

    The night before, on the Wednesday CBS Evening News, Wyatt
Andrews acknowledged where most of the public stands but,
nonetheless, stressed increasing opposition:
    "Overwhelmingly, most Americans responding to the latest CBS
poll favor military action to remove Saddam Hussein, but there is
some evidence that support is slipping. In that poll, those who
disapprove of military action rose from 23 percent of respondents
in November to 30 percent in January. Respondents in favor dropped
from 70 to 64 percent. Anti-war activists planning a protest march
in Washington this weekend say there's growing concern the
President wants war no matter what happens with inspections."

    But a new Fox News/Opinion Dynamics poll, highlighted by Brit
Hume on Thursday night, found support for ousting Hussein on the
upswing. The question: "Do you support or oppose U.S. military
action to Disarm Iraq and Remove Iraqi President Saddam Hussein?"
67 percent said "support," up from 65 percent in mid-December.

    That's within the three point margin of error, but does not
show the drop off claimed by CBS.

    The Fox poll, scroll down to question #21, is online at:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,75733,00.html



    > 4) More Americans consider President Bush's tax plan to be
"unfair" than "fair," but a Fox News poll discovered that when
asked for their assessment of each major element of it, a majority
agreed with five of the six parts of it, by up to a massive 82
point margin, and the sixth earned solid plurality support.

    I'd suggest media coverage just might explain the disparity.
Those polled heard repeatedly in the news about how Bush's plan
was unfair and was skewed to the wealthy, but when read the
specific elements of it each idea sounded pretty good to them.

    The poll, conducted January 14-15 for Fox News by Opinion
Dynamics, asked: "Based on what you know about the economic plan
President Bush proposed last week, do you think the President's
proposed tax cuts are fair or unfair to people like you?"

    Results:
Fair: 38%
Unfair: 42%
Not sure: 20%

    That was question #9 in the poll. Only after posing it did
poll takers inform the respondents about what the plan would do,
inquiring: "Do you favor or oppose each of the following economic
proposals:"

    To save space and confusion with too many numbers, I'm leaving
out the unsure category and listing the plan as described by the
poll takers and then the percent in favor and opposed after they
learned what Bush proposed:

    -- "Eliminating the taxes people pay on stock dividends"
Favor: 47%
Oppose: 37%

    -- "Speeding up the effective date for tax cuts that had been
planned for future years"
Favor: 54%
Oppose: 31%

    -- "Increasing the child tax credit for parents"
Favor: 78%
Oppose: 14%

    -- "Lowering some taxes on small businesses"
Favor: 88%
Oppose: 6%

    -- "Eliminating the marriage tax penalty"
Favor: 74%
Oppose: 12%

    -- "Eliminating the tax on estates, sometimes also called the
'death tax'"
Favor: 67%
Oppose: 21%

    Looks like it's the Washington press corps and not the Bush
administration which is out of touch with the majority of average
Americans who may be more interested in striving for more than in
living through envy.

    The poll is online at:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,75733,00.html



    > 5) The New York Times repeats itself. Two separate New York
Times stories on Thursday included the identical sentence about
how President Bush used the term "quotas" because it's "a word
that inevitably draws strong opposition in polls."

    Former MRCer Clay Waters alerted me to the repetition in the
January 16 edition.

    A front page story by Washington bureau reporter Neil Lewis,
was headlined: "President Faults Race Preferences as Admission
Tool." The story had this as its sixth paragraph, whether written
by Lewis or inserted by an editor:
    "In a sign of the careful political calibration of his words,
the President repeatedly used the term 'quotas' to describe
Michigan's admissions policy, a word that inevitably draws strong
opposition in polls."

    The printed, hard copy version of the paper then had this in
brackets: "[News Analysis, page A24]"

    The Lewis story is online at:
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/01/16/national/16AFFI.html

    Washington bureau reporter Adam Nagourney opened his "News
Analysis" piece, which carried the headline, "With His Eye on Two
Prizes, the President Picks His Words Carefully":
    "In announcing today that his administration would urge the
Supreme Court to declare the University of Michigan's admissions
program unconstitutional, President Bush was careful to present a
hard-line decision to intervene in the case with soft language, as
he has with great effectiveness throughout his public career."

    The second paragraph:
    "He denounced 'the wrong of racial prejudice' and emphasized
the value to society of racial diversity. In a sign of the careful
political calibration of his words, the President repeatedly used
the term 'quotas,' to describe Michigan's admissions policy, a
word that inevitably draws strong opposition in polls."

    Nagourney's piece in online at:
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/01/16/national/16ASSE.html

    Other than one comma, the two sentences are identical.



    > 6) Marking the five year anniversary of when the Monica
Lewinsky story broke, on Thursday's Good Morning America Claire
Shipman recalled how the revelation interrupted great hopes as it
came when "the White House was busy building a bridge to the 21st
century." She portrayed Bill Clinton as the victim as she bemoaned
how "the images of a husband, a father, a family struggling to
cope with a personal crisis were shared with the entire country."

    She suggested it all didn't mean very much: "It may be,
especially in this newly-sobered world, that the Lewinsky episode,
as riveting as it seemed at the time, will have little lasting
impact, will be little more than a memorable footnote in our
political life."

    Shipman also marveled at how though Bill Clinton and Monica
Lewinsky "spent only ten hours together," it "almost brought down
a President."

    By that reasoning you could lament how a ten-minute Oval
Office conversation about breaking into the headquarters of the
Democratic National Committee did bring down a President, but I
don't recall any reporters regretting how such a brief
conversation led to Nixon's downfall.

    But the Washington press corps had to be dragged into the
Lewinsky matter as they initially resisted the story and then
spent a great deal of time trying to discredit and undermine the
law enforcer, Ken Starr. Indeed, Shipman recalled how a
"colleague" told her when reminded of the anniversary: "It's like
a bad acid flashback, I can't take it!"

    Nice to know that one of Shipman's press corps colleagues
knows all about bad acid trips. That explains a lot of very
discombobulated journalism.

    Diane Sawyer introduced the January 16 segment caught by MRC
analyst Jessica Anderson:
    "We're going to begin, though, with the dubious anniversary
that takes place today, the intern who nearly ended a presidency.
Senior National Correspondent Claire Shipman is joining us now.
Claire."
    Shipman: "Can you believe it's been five years, Diane? It's
funny, talking with one of my colleagues the other day, looking at
those pictures, he said, [gasping] 'It's like a bad acid
flashback, I can't take it!' I remember just-"
    Sawyer wondered: "What kind of colleagues do you have?"
    Shipman, not seeming to get Diane's reaction: "I know,
exactly. But you felt queasy every day going to work, and I
remember when that scandal broke, I don't think any of us knew how
it was going to play out.
    Over clips from the Monica era: "Sex, lies and impeachment.
Looking back after five years, what do you really remember? Do you
know what really happened? Would you be surprised to hear that
Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, when all was said and done,
spent only ten hours together? Yet, it almost brought down a
President."
    Lanny Davis: "I've been in the middle of a few frenzies, but
compared to this, it was the difference between a bomb and a
nuclear bomb."
    Clinton: "I want you to listen to me, I'm going to say this
again."
    Shipman: "The public felt angry and betrayed."
    Michael Beschloss: "It was an ugly year, it was a brutal year.
People were vicious to one another."
    Chris Vlasto, ABC News producer: "Every player involved was
attacked, and I don't think anyone came out unscathed."
    Shipman: "The start of 1998, an unusually calm Washington.
Earlier Clinton scandals seemed under control. The White House was
busy building a bridge to the 21st century. Behind the scenes,
investigators were swarming. The Independent Counsel's office,
looking into the Whitewater scandal, was given permission to
extend its reach into another Clinton scandal: the Paula Jones
case. January 17th, 1998, as the President set out that morning,
he could not have known that the day's events would change forever
the legacy he was busy planning."
    Clip from Paula Jones deposition: "At any time, were you and
Monica Lewinsky alone?"
    Shipman: "A surprise question as he testified behind closed
doors in the Paula Jones case, and Clinton denied that he'd had an
affair with a 24-year-old former White House intern."
    Vlasto: "I had the opportunity to go have dinner with the
Paula Jones lawyers after Clinton's testimony. They bought bottles
of champagne and were toasting, and it was then that I knew
something serious had occurred inside that deposition."
    Shipman: "The real opening act in the Lewinsky scandal came
four days later for most of us."
    Joe Lockhart: "I slept in for the first time since I'd been at
the White House, and at about 9 o'clock in the morning called in
and said the dumbest thing in the history of presidential
politics: Is there anything goin' on?"
    Clips of newscasts breaking the story
    Shipman: "Our stomachs lurched as the bottom dropped out of
our national political life."
    Lockhart: "The media frenzy that resulted from the first day
of reporting I'm not sure we'll ever see again."
    Vlasto: "I remember looking at, when Ken Starr came out and
there's hundreds of camera crews around him, it was exceptional.
You become a bit afraid at how large it became and, you know, you
wanted to make sure you were right."
    Davis: "Everybody recognized what was at stake here could be
the presidency itself."
    ABC reporter Jackie Judd: "I have to say when I first heard
the words 'resignation' and 'impeachment' uttered, so soon after
the story was breaking, it set me back."
    Shipman: "Over the next days, weeks and months, we all learned
the intimate details of the sexual relationship between the
President and Monica Lewinsky. The ties she gave him that he
publicly displayed, the blue dress she wore and memorably saved,
all culminated in the infamous Starr Report. The images of a
husband, a father, a family struggling to cope with a personal
crisis were shared with the entire country."
    Beschloss: "It's really going to rest on history whether the
way that unfolded was the right way for our democracy."
    Shipman: "Five years is hardly enough time to judge the long-
term effect of the scandal. It may be, especially in this newly-
sobered world, that the Lewinsky episode, as riveting as it seemed
at the time, will have little lasting impact, will be little more
than a memorable footnote in our political life. We do know this
much so far: the Democrats lost the White House; the Independent
Counsel Act doesn't exist anymore, a move supported by Ken Starr;
Monica Lewinsky has had a handbag line, an HBO special, and I
almost forgot, she's now planning to go to law school."

    Shipman told Sawyer: "I think Monica Lewinsky going to law
school is an appropriate postscript to the story, but Diane, it's
interesting because one other thing we do know, so many of the
even peripheral players in this, unlike other important moments in
history, they just, they don't want to talk about it anymore. They
really just seem to want to move on."
    Sawyer: "And don't we all, in a way. We mark this anniversary
with a thank heaven it's over."
    Shipman: "Indeed."
    Sawyer: "Thanks to you, Claire."



    > 7) From the January 10 Late Show with David Letterman,
the "Top Ten Ways Kim Jong Il Can Improve His Image." Late Show
Web site: http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/

10. Appear with Diane Sawyer, blame everything on "exhaustion"

9. Encourage everyone to call him "Kimmy"

8. Walk around with a wise-cracking parrot on his shoulder

7. Reveal he's not really an evil dictator, he's just posing as
one to fool babes on a reality show

6. Goodbye weapons of mass destruction; hello cookies of mass
tastiness

5. Catch the Rappin' Kangaroo that ran off with those dudes' money

4. Figure out how to get that last bit of toothpaste out of the
tube, am I right, people?

3. Puffing up his hair another couple of inches should do it

2. Offer self-help on North Korean television as "Dr. Il"

1. As long as he's torturing people, how 'bout the ref who screwed
the Giants?

    #2 assumes there is North Korean television.

-- Brent Baker


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