-Caveat Lector- Have fun with this. Hilary > From: spiker <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Subject: Commie Mike Moore's Dinner at the White House > > This is the latest newsletter from commie, Michael Moore. > > > > Sender: Michael Moore's newsletter <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Subject: Mike's Dinner at the White House > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > Mike's Dinner at the White House > 12/18/98 > Dear Friends, > I met Bill Clinton outside a Port-O-John last > night and told him what he needed to do. > Earlier in the week, I had received a call from > the network chief at Britain's Channel Four > Television (the producer of our upcoming show, > "The Awful Truth") asking me what my plans > were for last evening. > I replied, "The usual. 'Wheel of Fortune' at 7, > 'Jeopardy' at 7:30. Pop down to Lincoln Center > to catch an hour or so of Verdi's "La Forza del > Destino" then rush back for 'Diagnosis: Murder' > at 9... > "How would you like to have dinner at the > White House?" > "Which house?" > "The White House." > "Uh, sure." > "It's to honor the Special Olympics," he said, > "but I sense there may be other things going > on in the White House. Do you think I can > get security clearance for you?" > "Uh, well, I was just there at the White House > gate last week filming a piece for the show. > They called out an FBI swat team in flak > jackets. I'm sure there'll be no problem." > And so it was that I found myself in the > receiving line to meet Bill and Hillary Clinton. > "You're from the working class," I blurted out > as I shook Clinton's hand. I noticed that his > makeup seemed as thick as Richard Nixon's > when I saw him parading down the main street > of Bad Axe, Michigan, one week before his > resignation. > "That's right, I am," he replied. > "You should never forget that." > "I don't forget it." > "You must not resign. You must beat the Right > Wing." > "I intend to." > "And this bombing thing, bad idea." > "I have been a big fan of yours, Mike, since > he beginning." > At this point, Hillary interrupted. > "Well, I'm a bigger fan!" > Great. Now they're squabbling. Trying to save > the moment I glance over to Bill then say to > Hillary, "Well. I'm a bigger fan than..." > She grabbed my hand and forearm. > "I read what you wrote about me," she said, > referring to the chapter in my book entitled > 'My Forbidden Love for Hillary'. I just wanted > to thank you for those words." > Those words? Hmm. You mean where I said > you were "one hot, s***kickin' feminist babe"? > An aide came to move me along, but Hillary > waved her away. > We chatted a few more moments about our > daughters, the need for them to see the > lessons in this whole mess, and I told Hillary > to run for office. > We did the arm to arm embrace again and > I walked away. > At the dinner, they had seated Hillary's chief > of staff next to us. I gave her an earful of what > I thought the Clintons need to do. She gave > me the First Lady's address and number. > The dinner itself tasted like the "Thursday > Surprise" from my high school cafeteria lunch > menu. Before long, I felt a need to relieve > myself. > Because we were in a tent on the White House > lawn, they had set up two Port-O-Johns > (the high end "Executive" model) for the > guests. One was locked, so I used the other. > As I came out, President Clinton came out of > the other Port-O-John. Alone. No Secret > Service. I shook his hand again. > "I meant what I said, Mr. President. Do not > give up. I have not always agreed with you > but this is bigger than you. The majority of this > country does not agree with what is happening." > Now, unlike his smiling demeanor in the > receiving line, he looked down and quietly > said "we're gonna be okay." > It was not convincing. > "Look," I said, like the presumptuous doofus I > often am. "I would love to send you a letter > outlining how I think you can defeat these > right wingers." > Jeez, I felt like such a jerk. Like he can't wait > to read my "bullet points". > He called over to a man standing nearby. > "Doug, come here, meet Mike. He's got a > few ideas for us. Doug's my political director." > I told him I'd drop him a line, and as I sit here > this morning in my D.C. hotel room, watching > the coup in Congress live before my eyes, I > wrote this appeal to the President of the United > States: > Go on TV tonight with Hillary. Let her speak > first. Let her tell the country about the pain > you have put her through. She should tell the > country of her decision to forgive you and try > to save the marriage. > Explain that, unlike the "Christian" Republicans > Bob Barr (married three times didn't pay child > support), Newt Gingrich (sued his first wife for > divorce the day after her cancer operation), etc. > etc., you have decided that it is important to > keep your family together. > I watched the two of you at close range last > night for nearly five hours. I trust my radar and > instincts, and I was struck by how much the two > of you actually like each other and how > affectionate you are. > The cynical press did not show that side of you > on the news this morning. It doesn't fit their > "script". But I saw it. And I think you should > go on television together and let the nation > see it. One big, long, deep kiss would do all > of us a hell of a lot of good. > Then, Bill, you have to say you lied. You have > to say you wanted to save your marriage and > your family and you thought lying would do it. > You must tell the country what it already > knows-- you did not lie to break the law or > perjure yourself-- you lied because they set a > trap for you and your first thought when they > threw you the out-of-the-blue question about > Monica was, "Oh my God, my marriage. Lie!" > Then I want you to say that you'd do it again. > That's right. Say boldly that if anyone ever tries > to pry into your personal life and destroy your > marriage you will do anything to save it. > Remind us how we all lie. I lied yesterday > flying to DC when the ticket agent asked me > if my "bags have been with me at all times since > I left the house." I said yes. I think it's a federal > crime to lie when asked that question. Who > among us has not told that lie or one similar? > Bill, all lies aren't the same, just as all crimes > aren't the same. We do treat a parking ticket > different than a murder. Use my golf analogy. > Ask the Republicans would they throw you out > of office if, under oath, you had lied about your > golf score? That would be perjury, right? And > if what they say is true--that all perjury is the > same-- then would they overturn a national > election for the first time in our history because > you committed perjury when, under oath, you > said you shot a 68? > Last night, word spread during the appetizer > course that the new Speaker, Bob Livingston, > had admitted to having "multiple affairs" during > his 33 year marriage. You probably noticed > everyone licking their chops along with the > pheasant cakes at this news. > Go on TV and call an end to this madness. > Announce that the Witch Hunt is over. Pat > Robertson and Ken Starr were elected by > NO ONE -- YOU were. Tell the nation that > Bob Livingston's sex life and marriage contract > is none of anyone's business. Say you will > tolerate no more of this, it's over, and you're > going to get busy ensuring universal health > care, preparing the country for the inevitable > economic collapse, and spending more time > with your wife. > If the wingnuts attempt to interrupt you with > cries of "But, the difference is, Livingston didn't > lie under oath!" tell them that one's marriage > oath is far greater than any oath taken in a > politically-motivated civil suit. One oath is > taken in front of a sleazebag lawyer; the other > is taken before God and the spouse you have > promised to love for the rest of your life. If the > Republicans can't figure out the difference, > then f*** 'em. > Finally, Bill, stop the bombing. The reason > you were originally the target of the reactionaries > is because you refused to go and kill Vietnamese. > Remember? But you got elected and you spent > a lot of time bringing peace to Northern Ireland > and the Middle East. Now you have blood on > your hands. In the name of all of us who have > worked for peace since those Vietnam days, > stop this nonsense now. Iraq was George > Bush's war to restore a dictatorship in Kuwait > and protect the interests of the oil companies. > You have no business being part of this. > At the end of the dinner, you and Hillary took > the stage with the young people who are > Special Olympians and, with Sheryl Crow, > Eric Clapton, Run DMC, Vanessa Williams, > and Jon Bon Jovi, you all joined in singing > Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is > Coming to Town." I cracked a smile as you > sang the line about Santa checking his list > "to find out who's been naughty or nice." > Then, looking at the array of all of you on the > stage-- black, white, men, women, an ex-heroin > user, an ex-Miss America-turned-Penthouse- > scandal-centerfold, I thought that's our mosaic, > this whacky country of ours. Sinners all, hoping > for redemption, living life through its scars and > triumphs, no one able to cast the first stone. > Last summer, Linda Tripp looked into the > camera and told America "I am you." No, she > isn't us. We are basically a decent and honest > group of people. You and your motley crew on > the stage are us. Flawed human beings who > constantly make mistakes, then try to make > things right. > > I grabbed Orrin Hatch by the arm on the way > out and told him, "You had better do the right > thing." He stopped and stared at me. > I repeated myself, "I said, you had better > respect the will of the American people. You > didn't vote for him, I didn't vote for him, but the > majority of those who voted did. Do not > disrespect that." > "Ok," he said, confused, as his wife dragged > him away. > On the way out, I spotted the White House > screening room and asked my friend from > Channel Four to snap a picture on my > Instamatic of me slouching in Clinton's big > overstuffed chair pretending to watch the > latest Barbra Streisand film. The Secret > Service smiled, then threw us out. > It was a weird night. > Yours, > Michael Moore > <A HREF="mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]">[EMAIL PROTECTED]</A> > <A HREF="http://www.MichaelMoore.com">http://www.michaelmoore.com</A> > P.S. Call your Democratic Congressman now > and tell him the American people want him and > every single Democrat to get up and walk out en > masse. They should refuse to sit there and > participate in this Kangaroo Court. Boycott this > impeachment vote now! The Republicans can only > get away with this by making it look "legitimate". > It can't look legitimate if the place is half-empty > and the vote is 218 to 0 with 205 abstentions.Get up and leave now! (202) > 224-3121. > > > A question to ponder > > How many Politicians can we take care per 100 feet of rope? > > Sincerely, > David E. Parsons > Denver,CO > > Home Page > http://members.tripod.com/~DAVIDPARSONS/index.html > > ICQ# 7869261 > ICQ - World's Largest Internet Online Communication Network > http://www.mirabilis.com/ > > Watch the UN rag burn! > http://azwest.net/user/slim/unburn.gif ----- See the original message at http://www.egroups.com/list/exploration/?start=2050 ================================= Together We Create Heaven on Earth [EMAIL PROTECTED] ================================= Come join exploration - a discussion list dedicated to keeping up-to-date on new technologies, advancements in medicine, environmental concerns, 'conspiracy theories' and, of course, UFO stuff. 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