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THE SCOOP for April 26, 1999
___________________________

The Columbine High School Shootings
So What Can We Do?
� 1999 Bob Harris
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

{}= italics


The most popular movie in America this week is {The Matrix.}

Act One: Keanu Reeves portrays a friendless young man trapped in a world
populated mostly by mindless peers who cannot share his angst and inhuman
authorities deserving only contempt.  He spends most of his time surfing
the Internet and cultivating a feeling of detachment from reality.

Act Two: Larry Fishburne, who is even more detached and therefore cooler,
informs Keanu that his perceptions are fully justified: in fact, he is the
One who will eventually destroy the existing order.  Keanu, gradually
gaining power as he becomes ever more alienated, joins Larry in leading a
gang of black-clad rebels in confrontations with and escapes from the bad
guys.  Betrayals and chases and plot twists ensue.

Act Three: Fulfilling his destiny, Keanu and an accomplice enter the bad
guys' building strapped to the nads with automatic weapons hidden under
long black trench coats.  Showing little emotion and no mercy, they
blithely kill everyone in their path.  Lots of people get shot in
innovative ways, much of it in slow motion.  Keanu, utterly empowered,
eventually literally flies to the heavens.  Roll credits.

Audiences across the country think this is all really, really cool.  The
film has been #1 in gross receipts for three of the four weeks since its
release.

Americans have spent almost $120 million to see this movie in a single
month.  Experts estimate we'll spend at least $40 million more.  Sequels
are already planned.

Easily the most memorable line of dialogue in the ads that sold this
movie:

"We need guns.  Lots of guns."

This is by far the single most popular movie in America.

___________________________

So now let's all act so terribly shocked about the kids in Colorado.
Let's all point fingers at each other and wonder how anyone could think of
doing such a thing.

___________________________

Liberals don't normally like to admit that media images influence human
behavior, partly because too often people use that excuse to try to censor
stuff they personally dislike, which usually includes anything to the left
of Debbie Boone eating American cheese and Spam on Wonder Bread.

But {of course} media images influence human behavior.  If not, the entire
concept of commercial media would be completely inoperative.  The whole
purpose of advertising is to influence your behavior through powerful
images.  And it works, obviously, or else the entire TV, movie, radio,
newspaper, and magazine industries would cease to exist.

Duh.

So what now?

Contrary to standard conservative advice, prohibition of ideas or images
simply isn't an option.  It doesn't work any better than the prohibition
of alcohol or drugs has ever worked, and there's this pesky 1st amendment
thingy in the way.

Which means, ultimately, either the broadcasters and producers have to
stop selling violent images voluntarily -- a prospect about as likely as
Dennis Rodman becoming a Franciscan monk -- or you and I and the rest of
us simply have to stop giving people who produce hyperviolent
entertainment hundreds of millions of dollars.

We all need to teach ourselves again that gratuitous images of human
slaughter are worst form of pornography.  Only then can we begin an
intelligent dialogue about healing the psychological wounds we've already
inflicted on ourselves and our children.

___________________________

Conservatives don't normally like to admit that the availability of a wide
variety of guns leads directly a wide variety of gun-related deaths.  Lots
of people sincerely believe that the 2nd amendment specifically guarantees
an absolute right to bear arms.  Many also believe that the problem is
with the shooters, and not with the weapons themselves.

But {of course} gun ownership can be and is widely regulated, with the
Supreme Court's full consent.  Saturday Night Specials are against the
law, as are sawed-off shotguns, fully-automatic weapons, and lots of other
stuff.  If the NRA's version of the 2nd amendment was accurate, these laws
wouldn't have a chance of staying on the books.  And as to the shooters,
they wouldn't have done nearly so much damage armed with slingshots and
bowie knives.

Duh.

So what now?

Contrary to standard liberal advice, more laws, by themselves, are not the
answer.  Many of the weapons in Littleton were already illegal.  It simply
didn't matter.

Enforcement of existing laws, as NRA bigshot Wayne LaPierre has correctly
pointed out, would be a start.  And so for once the NRA should throw their
full lobbying weight into rallying support for increased law enforcement
resources in this regard.  (It'll also help if the FBI and BATF promise
not to gas, snipe, bulldoze, or immolate anybody unnecessarily.)

We all need to work toward gun laws that actually matter, enforced by
people we respect.  Only then can we begin an intelligent dialogue about
outlawing any more weapons in the future.

___________________________


We sure as hell aren't having an intelligent dialogue now.

Here's Barbara Wheeler, former president of the National School Boards
Association:

{"That's one of the great mysteries -- how do you identify a student who
is going to act out?"}

Other than dressing in black, forming a gang, pre-arranging fights with
other students, speaking in German, giving Nazi salutes, and filming a
fantasy video in which they kill their fellow students, she means.

Here's Chicago Sun-Times editor Nigel Wade, on why the Columbine story
appeared on page 2 instead of the front page:

{"We're putting the story where adults will find it... giving parents a
chance to decide whether their children will see it... [the story] could
harm or frighten vulnerable children."}

As opposed to a page one story they did run, in which Serbian troops
machine-gunned a column of Albanian refugees.  Much healthier for the kids.

Here's NRA president Charlton Heston, claiming that the solution is {more}
guns, not fewer:

{"If there had been even one armed guard in the school, he could have
saved a lot of lives and perhaps ended the whole thing instantly."}

And here's Minnesota's bulletheaded moron Jesse Ventura, advocating much
the same thing:

{"Had there been someone who was armed, in this particular situation, in
my opinion, it may have stabilized.... I believe it supports
conceal-and-carry."}

Never mind that there {was} an armed sheriff's deputy present, who got off
a handful of useless shots from his sidearm before being forced to flee
for his life.

Here's Colorado governor Bill Owens, blaming the parents merely because
some weaponry flotsam was found in plain view in a gunman's bedroom in the
aftermath of the attack:

{"I think that perhaps charges will be filed and certainly should be
filed... [police] found in one of the gunman's homes clear evidence out,
sitting in the room, of what was about to happen."}

Let's get this straight: one of the gunmen fails to clean his bedroom
before leaving for school on the day he's planning to die, so therefore
the parents must have had advance knowledge.

And finally, here's Bill Clinton on the Columbine school shootings:

{"We must do more to reach out to our children and teach them to resolve
conflicts with words, not weapons... violence is wrong."}

"And now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to bombing Yugoslavia."

The insanity in this country goes a lot further than two kids with too
many guns.

___________________________

Bob Harris is a radio commentator, political writer, and humorist who
has spoken at almost 300 colleges nationwide.

To receive a free email subscription, just send a blank email to
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___________________________

Bob's Big Plug-O-Rama� (updated 4/26/99):

My new book, [Steal This Book And Do Life Without Parole], is done and
will be in bookstores this fall.  Visit my fab publisher at
http://www.commoncouragepress.com.

Cool and strange: "This Is Bob Harris," my daily radio feature, is now
broadcast by Armed Forces Radio to over 140 countries around the world --
and during the Rush Limbaugh program at that!

Back here in the U.S., syndication is rolling along.  About 70 stations
and counting, with a new station signing up every few days now.  Yippee!
Call your favorite station and ask for the feature.  They pay attention,
honest.

Internet portal The Mining Company has a list of recommended political
humorists posted at http://politicalhumor.miningco.com/msub14.htm.  I made
the cut, along with Mort Sahl, Art Buchwald, P.J. O'Rourke, Dave Barry,
Mark Russell, the Smothers Brothers, Will Durst, Mark Twain, and Will
Rogers.  Is that cool or what?

The Scoop is also available online in RealAudio at
http://www.webactive.com/webactive/soapbox/monday.html

Finally, Mother Jones online (http://www.motherjones.com) now carries The
Scoop.  I am honored to be associated with these people.  They rule.


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