-Caveat Lector- : Comprehending engineers : : Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where : did you get such a great bike?" : The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my : own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike : to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'" : : The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably : wouldn't have fit." : : Comprehending Engineers-Take Two : : An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was : better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he : enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring : relationship. : : The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion : and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." : : "Both?" : Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume : you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and : get some work done." : : : Comprehending Engineers-Take Three : : What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? : Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets. : : Comprehending Engineers-Take Four : : The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" : The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" : The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" : The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" : : Comprehending Engineers-Take Five : : To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half : empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. : : Comprehending Engineers-Take Six : : Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. : At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three : engineers buy only a single ticket. : "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the : three lawyers. : "Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers. : They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all : three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. : Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting : tickets. : He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens : just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor : takes it and moves on. The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever : idea. So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on : the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy : a single ticket for the return trip. : To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. : "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed lawyer. : "Watch and you'll see," says one of the engineers. : When they board the train, the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the : three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. : Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over : to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and : says, "Ticket, please". : : : : Here is some trivia that was sent to me. I thought these were pretty : interesting. : : 1. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. : When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer : to sleep on. That's where the phrase "Good night, sleep tight" comes from. : : 2. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every : letter in the alphabet. It was developed by Western Union to test telex : communications. : : 3. The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is : "uncopyrightable." : : 4. When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing."They actually : pass out from sheer terror. : : 5. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year : because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight : of all the books that would occupy the building. : : 6. The term "the whole nine yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the : Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine : gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet before being loaded into the : fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole : nine yards." : : 7. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law that stated : you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. : : 8. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. : : 9. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the Army for the General : Purpose vehicle, G.P. : : 10. The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II moves only six inches for each : gallon of diesel that it burns. <<Like the Titanic, another example of : English engineering "expertise".>> : : 11. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. : : 12. No NFL team that plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a : Super Bowl. : : 13. The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver." : : 14. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older. : : 15. In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting : license. : : 16. It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's : supply of footballs. : : 17. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are : already married. : : 18. There are an average of 178 sesame seeds on a McDonald's Big Mac bun. : : 19. The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1. : : 20. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and : Budweiser, in that order. : : 21. When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25 miles : per year. : : 22. Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of : vodka. : : 23. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year. : : 24. In ten minutes a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's : nuclear weapons combined. : : 25. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month : after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all : the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey, and because their calendar was : lunar based, this period was called the "honey month" or what we know today : as the honeymoon. : : 26. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, : when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their : own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "Mind : your P's and Q's." : : 27. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the : rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When theyneeded a refill, they used the : whistle to get some service. Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by : this practice. : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ~~~~~~~~~~~~ : A<>E<>R : : The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking : new landscapes but in having new eyes. -Marcel Proust : + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + : A merely fallen enemy may rise again, but the reconciled : one is truly vanquished. -Johann Christoph Schiller, : German Writer (1759-1805) : + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + : Forwarded as information only; no endorsement to be presumed : + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + : In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. section 107, this material : is distributed without charge or profit to those who have : expressed a prior interest in receiving this type of information : for non-profit research and educational purposes only. : DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. 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