-Caveat Lector-

an excerpt from:
The Right People - A Portrait of the American Social Establishment
Stephen Birmingham�1958, 1959, 1960, 1961, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1968
Little, Brown and Company
Boston-Toronto
LCCN 68-11525
360pps. � out-of-print
-----
Early Larry and the 'Greys'. . . Funny joke . . . ?

<< New York Social Register's private little army. . . In the ranks of the
Greys, in uniformed anonymity, have marched tiny Rockefellers, Roosevelts,
Vanderbilts, Van Rensselaers, and Harrimans, not to mention pint-sized
Twomblys, Goulds, Fishes, Burdens, Blagdens and Schwabs, to say nothing of
lilliputian Dodges, Morgans, Swopes, Sloans, Hamiltons, Reads, and Reids.>>

Om
K
-----
--[3]--

3.
"How Shall We Tell the children?"

THOUGH each set of parents has its own specific formula, one of the most
controversial issues in Society is the question of at what age, and how, to
make the children aware of the special benefits and duties of their status.
Some families, such as the Rockefellers, have traditionally made it a point
to keep their children in the dark about the meaning of Rockefellerdom for as
long as possible, and Rockefeller governesses were instructed to remove, from
locked closets full of toys, only one toy per child daily, lest the young be
overcome by the trappings of great wealth. In at least one Rockefeller
nursery, a miniature kitchen was built adjoining where the children were
taught to cook simple, unaffected dishes such as hamburgers, fried potatoes,
and spaghetti. Once a week, furthermore, the children entertained their
parents in the nursery for an evening meal the children had prepared. "I
learned what it meant to be a Rockefeller long after I learned there was no
Santa Claus," says one of the family. What was his reaction? "It frightened
me terribly. I had nightmares for weeks. I was certain that someone would try
to kidnap me." The Aldriches, who are related to Rockefellers by marriage,
are similarly minded, and Lucy Aldrich Devens recalls that it was "many years
before I realized that there was any money around." She was so strictly and
carefully reared that she actually thought the Aldriches were poor.

Some families are more direct, and a Connecticut mother believes in taking
her small children with her on her regular rounds of personal charity,
visiting her "favorite unfortunates" and delivering Christmas turkeys, toys,
and hand-me-downs so that the children can see, without having it painfully
explained, "the difference." To some, the difference is made clear at an
extremely early age. A passenger in the nursery school car pool in
Westchester was awed, recently, by the size of the home of one of his
schoolmates. "Wow!" be cried. "You live in a castle!" The young man replied
crisply, "It's not a castle. It's a mansion." A youth at the Hotchkiss School
was, however, sixteen years old before he realized that everyone in the world
was not precisely in his family's circumstances. He had managed to wheedle,
from the family's cook, the promise of a bottle of whiskey to take to a
party, and he had arranged to call at her Harlem apartment to pick it up. The
young man had known the cook in terms of the coziness of the family kitchen
and the starched amplitude of her white uniform. The squalor of the Harlem
apartment, and the realization that the preparer of so many delicious family
meals actually lived in such a place, was shock enough.

But he says, "The door to her only closet was standing open, and inside,
hanging neatly, were all my mother's old dresses. The sight of those cast-off
dresses nearly knocked me over. Nothing could have brought home the gap � the
gulf between us � with more impact. She gave me the bottle, and I could
barely bring myself to look at her, I was so close to crying."

But most families prefer that their children make the discovery in less
dramatic fashion, that the dawning of the idea of "difference" come gradually
and painlessly by a kind of social osmosis. The theory is that if a child is
placed in the proper mixture of the right schools, the right dancing classes,
the right parties, resorts, and summer camps, the desired result � an
unsurprising marriage to someone of the same class � will inevitably take
place. Of course this formula is not foolproof (even the most carefully
brought-up young lady may fall in love with an Italian ski instructor), but
in general it can be relied upon to work.

The same osmosis principle is trusted when it comes to imparting political
values, philosophies, and eventually party affiliation. Though one cannot
guarantee it, one hopes that one's children will grow up to be right-thinking
Republicans by simply following the example of their parents. In this
endeavor, the right schools are supposed to help, but, again and again it is
a shock to parents to discover that most schools make no attempt at all to
instill political ideas. In fact, many prep school teachers take a sly
delight in trying to "liberalize" Republican-oriented children. "My son has a
history teacher who told him Roosevelt was okay," one father fumed recently.
And Society's preference for Princeton and Yale � over Harvard � has a great
deal to do with the ' notion that Harvard is populated largely with
"Communist" and "left-wing bleeding-heart" professors. The young are nearly
always rebellious, and it is distressing when they refuse to fall into line.
Young Mrs. Lewis Rutherfurd, living in Hong Kong where her husband teaches,
wrote home to her mother, Mrs. Hugh D. Auchincloss, with bitter things to say
about the American commitment in Vietnam. "Oh, she's such a big baby!" said
Mrs. Auchincloss with some exasperation.

One of the most persistent notions about growing up into Society is that the
child should be subjected to, rigorous discipline, that he should learn
diligence and duty before shouldering the heavy responsibility of social
leadership. As a result, in New York, it is possible to see on a spring
Sunday, marching jauntily up Park Avenue to the strains of "St. Julien," a
valiant band of two hundred little boys in white trousers, gray tunics, white
belts and white caps which sport red-white-and-blue-feathered plumes; the
lads, some no taller than the spring tulips which march up the center of the
Avenue beside them, are armed with rifles, swords, flags, and guidons. They
march with Rockette-like precision, and the effect is a bit like watching a
performance on the Plain at West Point through the wrong end of a telescope.
The annual occurrence of the little boys in parade confuses the majority of
New Yorkers, and most passersby can seldom give a clear or cogent explanation
of who the little boys are and why they are there in full battle regalia. A
few, however, realize that they are witnessing nothing more startling than
the annual Church Parade of the Knickerbocker Greys, "A Private Drill Class
for Boys," and the New York Social Register's private little army.

In the ranks of the Greys, in uniformed anonymity, have marched tiny
Rockefellers, Roosevelts, Vanderbilts, Van Rensselaers, and Harrimans, not to
mention pint-sized Twomblys, Goulds, Fishes, Burdens, Blagdens and Schwabs,
to say nothing of lilliputian Dodges, Morgans, Swopes, Sloans, Hamiltons,
Reads, and Reids. Though the organization is over eighty years old, its size
has been kept small. Traditionally, its membership has consisted of boys from
the "best families," and, until quite recently the Knickerbocker Greys, for
fear of kidnapings, permitted no publicity at all to emanate from the group.
Now things have relaxed but with the exception of the Church Parade � from
the Seventh Regiment Armory at Park Avenue and Sixty-sixth Street, sixteen
blocks south to the steps of St. Bartholomew's Episcopal Church the Greys
make no en masse appearances in public.

Veterans of the Knickerbocker Greys include a number of distinguished men
and, not surprisingly, the Greys do not mind assuming some of the credit.
Averell Harriman, for instance, was a Grey, as was Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.
Major General Pierpont Morgan Hamilton, a great-grandson of Alexander
Hamilton and a wearer of the Congresssional Medal of Honor, received his
basic military training in the Knickerbocker Greys. There have been titled
Greys from the ranks of New York's displaced royalty, among them Prince David
Chavchavadze, the son of Princess Nina of Russia, and several Princes
Obolensky. Former Greys in public life include journalist Robert Considine,
author-lecturer Lowell Thomas, and actors John Kerr and Mel Ferrer. Young
Winthrop P. Rockefeller, son of Bobo, has marched with the Greys and, since
certain family disagreements have made relations somewhat strained, Winthrop
had never met his first cousin, Laurance. When both young Rockefellers
appeared in the ranks of the Greys, Colonel William H. Warrick, the Greys's
commandant and drill master, performed the high-level introduction.

Historically, the reason for the Greys is simple enough. In 1881 a Mrs.
Edward Curtis, "whose sons attended a nonmilitary school," and were, from all
reports, holy terrors, felt the need of military drill for her boys. Rallying
her friends, she formed the Greys. (The double meaning of the troop's name
amused her; it referred to Father Knickerbocker, patron saint of New York,
and also to the boys' first uniform, which included gray knickerbockers.)
Appropriately, the Greys began to meet for twice-weekly drills in the ancient
and elegant Seventh Regiment Armory, headquarters of the Seventh (or Society)
Regiment of the New York National Guard. In addition to its drill and its
Church Parade, the troop takes field trips (to nearby military installations
and to West Point), and gives a Christmas tea dance. Since its formation the
word "Greys" has been spelled about half the time with an e and half the time
with an a, but it was with an e that Mrs. Curtis spelled it.

Today the raison d'etre of the Greys is more complex � part educational, part
social, part recreational, part disciplinary, part sentimental. The
Knickerbocker Greys mean different things to different people. Applying for
membership in the Greys is similar to applying for membership in an exclusive
club. Parents fill out an application blank, answering such questions as the
boy's age (eight is the minimum), height (minimum forty-eight inches),
father's name, mother's maiden name, father's profession, and so forth. But
in addition, each applicant must be proposed and seconded by "someone
connected with the Greys" � in other words, the parent of a Grey member or
ex-member. The cost of belonging is pleasantly low � under one hundred
dollars a year plus another hundred-odd dollars for uniforms � but, as in all
such organizations, the price of belonging is not what counts. Though the
ladies who run the Greys like to play down the "snob" connotations of the
group, and point out that the Greys are furiously democratic and take in
"sons of advertising people, we even had Commander Whitehead's little boy,
and even of theatre people, the nice ones," the emphasis is on niceness of
background and, as one committee member put it bluntly, "We aren't exactly
the Boy Scouts."

Because of the physical limitations of the Armory, the size of the group
cannot feasibly extend beyond two-battalion strength, around two hundred, at
any one time. Openings occur only as boys retire � as they must at the age of
sixteen, with "honorable discharges" � or as they move out of New York
private day schools and off to their prep schools in New England. Competition
for admission to the Greys remains stiff and, when two equally bright,
healthy, and interested boys are competing for the same opening, it is more
than likely that the one with the better family and connections will be taken
in.

Before he is accepted, each applicant � with his mother � is given a final
screening at a tea with a few ladies of the membership committee. To an
eight-year-old, it is clear that joining the Knickerbocker Greys is nothing
more than the age-old boys' game of playing soldier; to his parent, it may be
something else again. "Do you use bombs?" asked a pressed, combed, starched
and Eton-collared candidate, sitting beside his mink-clad mother at an
opening interview with the Greys's committee ladies. "Oh, no," murmured the
committee in a chorus. "Do you use grenades?" "No, no." "How about swords?"
"The boys do carry swords, yes," said one committeewoman.

"Boy, I'm glad of that!" replied the applicant. "Because there's one guy in
the Greys I'd sure like to stick with one!"

"Jimmy!" cried his horrified mother, looking nervously at the committee
chairman. "I'm sure Jimmy doesn't mean that," she explained.

"Oh, yes I do!" said Jimmy, standing up and giving a remarkably vivid
imitation of a running-through with a bayonet.

Because of the Greys's reputation of exclusiveness, they are a sore point
among non-Grey students at New York's better day schools. A perennial
assertion is that the initials "K.G." on the Greys's uniforms stand for
"Kitchen Grease."

Once a boy is accepted by the Greys, Colonel Warrick takes over. Trim, slim,
and clear-eyed, the Colonel is a firm advocate of calisthenics, and is an
excellent walking advertisement of his athletic philosophy. He claims to care
not a whit for the social importance of the Greys, and to have a greater
concern for what he feels is the sad physical state of New York City's youth,
best families or no. Many of the boys who enter the Greys are far too flabby
for the Colonel. "Some of these kids live on diets of ice cream and soda
pop," he says. "I've seen boys from the wealthiest families in town who were
actually undernourished!"

By drilling the Greys twice a week in the manual of arms, squad formations,
company maneuvers and reviews, plus as many calisthenic periods as he can
squeeze in, Colonel Warrick labors to toughen up the sons of the wealthy and
well-born, and in addition to pep talks on posture and muscle tone, injects
bits of advice on personal cleanliness, neatness, gentlemanly manners and
morality.

Depending on his "conduct, military bearing, neatness, alertness, and
cooperation," a Grey may rise from the rank of cadet private to that of cadet
colonel. Needless to say, the problem of promotions is a knotty one for
Colonel Warrick. Parents, who feel that cultivating the Colonel � and his
pretty wife � may result in a promotion for their youngster, besiege him with
invitations to cocktail parties, dinners, receptions, benefits, and theatre
parties. Though he disclaims interest in Society, the Warricks lead a heady
social life. They receive preferential treatment at such restaurants as "21,"
since the Kriendler family, which owns the place, has sent sons into the
Greys. But for all this promotions are made with strict impartiality, and to
insure this, the Colonel invites Army officers from nearby bases, not
connected with the Greys or the Seventh Regiment, to judge the boys'
performances in competition drills.

Colonel Warrick has made himself a socially attractive figure, and makes good
use of his personal charm. "Working for this ladies' committee could be
difficult," be admits. But it isn't. The mother of a cadet fluttered over to
him at a recent party in New York, and with fluttering eyelashes said, "Tell
me, Colonel, how do you really decide whom to promote?" Giving her a little
wink and touching her hand, he replied, "Why, it's simple. I promote the boys
with the most beautiful mothers." His popularity with the Greys and their
parents has stood him in good stead in attracting applicants to the
Adirondack Camp for Boys which Colonel Warrick operates during the summer
months on the shores of Lake George. Warrick's Adirondack has become one of
New York Society's favorite summer camps. On Parents' Week End in midsummer,
the woods rumble with the sonorous engines of Rolls-Royces. At other times
the camp, like the Greys, is run with military snap and efficiency.

A less enthusiastic observer of the Knickerbocker Greys was Mr. Harry H.
Lucker of the Warnock Uniform Company which, after many years of uniforming
the city's elite, finally succumbed. The Warnock firm began to make uniforms
for the Greys when the organization was first established, in 1881. In his
venerable emporium amid yellowing photographs and memorabilia of the great
and near-great his company had outfitted and whose households he had
uniformed, behind racks of military attire of every period and description,
Mr. Lucker liked to brood about the past. Poring over ancient charts,
catalogues, booklets, yachting manuals, warfare rule books, books on the
proper assemblage of chevrons and epaulets, he would grow eloquent on the
difficult problem of placing the combat ribbons and decorations on the
uniform of Admiral Alan G. Kirk (Retired), a long-time customer.

For thirty-six years uniforming the Knickerbocker Greys was the personal
chore of Mr. Lucker and his partner George Steinhilber, as it was of their
predecessors in the company. The Greys's account grossed the company as much
as $20,000 a year, and they approached the assignment with dedication and
high purpose. Early in the 1950's, however, for a reason that was forever a
mystery to Mr. Lucker, his company's informal franchise was suddenly taken
away and the business was given to another company. This turn of events so
affected Mr. Steinhilber that he was never a well man afterward, but Mr.
Lucker carried on for a while alone, somewhat comforted by the fact that
secondand third-generation Greys still came to him, sent by their fathers and
grandfathers.

Mr. Lucker kept an enormous scrapbook bulging with clippings, all about the
doings of members of the Greys. He not only outfitted each Grey, but kept
track of him ever after, recording his engagement, marriage, divorce,
remarriage, polo score at Meadowbrook, position in the Bermuda Cup Race, the
birth of his children, and in many cases, his death. "There's so-and-so," he
would say, pointing to a photograph. "Used to be fat. Thirty-eight-inch waist
when he was ten. Slimmed down, though, when he was thirteen. Married a du
Pont." Or, "Here's Ellery such-and-such � always losing his little service
cap. Every week his nurse would come down here and order him a new cap. Too
bad about him, though. Married some movie star."

Mr. Lucker felt that there had been a great decline in the quality of
Society, and that this followed the same curve as the decline in the livery
and uniform business. Over his scrapbooks, Mr. Lucker liked to let his
thoughts wander back to the Gay Nineties, and the golden decade before the
First World War, to the glittering era of the Four Hundred, to the days of
carriages and uniformed coachmen, butlers, dinner parties for six hundred
guests with a liveried footman behind each chair. "I used to go to their
homes, all those wonderful people," he used to say, "to Newport, and Aiken,
and Palm Beach, and Tuxedo Park. I'd measure their sons for uniforms for the
Greys, and then I'd measure the butler, the valet, the houseman and
chauffeur, and make uniforms for all the liveried help. Oh, some were nicer
than others, believe me. I remember when old Mrs. John D. Rockefeller used to
come here, a great lady, may she be enjoying eternal peace! She'd sit right
here, in front of my desk, and place an order for little John the Third and
every member of her staff. But who has that kind of money now? No, Society
isn't what it used to be, believe me. I understand they sell secondhand
uniforms over at the Armory now. Secondhand! Mrs. Rockefeller would turn over
in her grave!"

pps. 44-55
--[cont]--
Aloha, He'Ping,
Om, Shalom, Salaam.
Em Hotep, Peace Be,
Omnia Bona Bonis,
All My Relations.
Adieu, Adios, Aloha.
Amen.
Roads End
Kris

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