-Caveat Lector-
from alt.conspiracy
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As always, Caveat Lector.
Om
K
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<A HREF="aol://5863:126/alt.conspiracy:526851">Unicef Poisons Bangladesh</A>
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Subject: Unicef Poisons Bangladesh
From: Uncle Al <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Date: Thu, May 27, 1999 7:57 AM
Message-id: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
PROTECTED TO DEATH YET AGAIN
(C)1999 Alan M. Schwartz
Starting in the 1970s the United Nations International Children's
Emergency Fund (UNICEF, now the United Nations Children's Fund to
obfuscate the acronym) spent obscenely large sums of money (most of it
Liberally extorted from US taxpayers) to drill five million deep water
wells in Bangladesh. Living four feet above mean sea level means
being up to your knees in your neighbors' fecal sewage. At least 70
million Bangladeshis enjoyed recurrent bouts of cholera and
dysentery. The UN remedied that by providing Officially safe drinking
water.
If you buy something for yourself you take great care about the price
and the product. If you buy a gift for somebody else you care about
the price, but you will buy the green socks if rushed at lunch hour.
If you are spending from the corporate expense account, who cares how
much it costs or how crappy it is? Given this simple philosophical
heuristic (and Bangladeshi corruption honed from times preceding the
dawn of recorded history) we predict that UNICEF not only set world
records for cost/well, but managed to screw up the simple act of
digging holes in the ground in world class fashion. We are not to be
disappointed, re Chemical & Engineering News 77(20) 45 (1999).
Those 70 million Bangladeshis Officially saved from the ravages of
cholera and dysentery are now enjoying the very real ravages of
chronic arsenic poisoning. Assuredly ringing the giant bright red
gong for utter incompetence, the UN tapped the only South Asian
arsenic-rich aquifer a documented 3 million times. More than $44
million has been allocated for "mitigation studies," $4.4 million for
information dissemination, $21.3 million for "building resources to
implement the plan," and $32.4 million to establish (not run) the
mitigation plan. Bangladesh has countless gods; none of them are
hydrologists. There is no plan.
OK, there is a plan proposed by the BCBSNA (Bangladesh Chemical &
Biological Society of North America). They mounted their hind legs
and proclaimed (direct quote) "money being spent by the World Bank
will be wasted through government inefficiencies and bad scientific
advice." Yes, of course - it is the World Bank job description.
Here we go: Take arsenic-contaminated well water, fluff it with air
to oxidize soluble As(III) to much less soluble As(V), add mud,
precipitate the arsenic, filter or settle, and drink the water. The
arsenic-contaminated mud is left as an exercise for the alert reader.
Uncle Al proposes collecting it, shipping it to America, and using it
to empower Super Fund toxic waste dump litigation. There is a minor
matter of local mud carrying cholera and dysentery, which expensively
brings the whole matter around full circle.
The Bangladeshi Chemical Society and its members are keeping their pie
holes firmly sealed lest their government be displeased and they be
found floating face down in somebody's rice paddy. The EPA and OSHA
are green with envy. The BATF is taking notes.
It warms my heart that venal pecuniary excesses heretofore only
exercised by White Protestant European oppressors of People's of
Colour are opened to every dusky-skinned toothless Third World
wretch. Political drones formerly content to extort pennies from
their destitute neighbors squatting in thatched mud huts are now
dressed in fine silk suits in masonry UN office buildings busily
misappropriating a hundred million dollars generously donated through
the US government personnel and a few other First World bureaucrats
for small percentage kickback considerations.
What arsenic water quality standard will be applied to Bangladesh well
water? UNICEF wants 10 parts-per-billion arsenic maximum, a mere
factor of five below existing 50 ppb standards. Why not? They are
not paying for it. You are. $102.1 million is already on the
chopping block yet the principals have not the foggiest idea how to
burn it all beyond "conducting studies." The obvious answer is to cap
every well and drill new ones, billing the UN for doing both. One
anticipates a slower, more expensive, and less adequate construct
eventually surfacing, possibly embracing the whimsy of very vigorously
and lavishly doing nothing at all.
By the book, soluble arsenic is biologically immobilized by reaction
with selenium. A massive US air lift of Selsun Blue shampoo could
solve Bangladeshi arsenic poisoning and dandruff problems together.
California Salton Sea selenium drainage could be bulk shipped to
everybody's gain. (Not really, but at least the fruits of corruption
would stay at home.) Washington could ignite a national Chinese fire
drill to collect every old camera light meter and reclaim selenium to
save the Bangladeshis!
The gods help those who help themselves to others.
--
Uncle Al Schwartz
http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/
http://www.ultra.net.au/~wisby/uncleal/
http://www.guyy.demon.co.uk/uncleal/
http://uncleal.within.net/
(Toxic URLs! Unsafe for children and most mammals)
"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" The Net!
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Aloha, He'Ping,
Om, Shalom, Salaam.
Em Hotep, Peace Be,
Omnia Bona Bonis,
All My Relations.
Adieu, Adios, Aloha.
Amen.
Roads End
Kris
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