-Caveat Lector-

This was an actual letter from and a reply to the Michigan
 Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan:

 Mr. Ryan De Vries
 2088 Dagget
 Pierson, MI 49339

 Dear Mr. DeVries:

 SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023-1 T11N, R10W,
 Sec. 20, Montcalm County

 It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental
 Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the
 above-referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the
 legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following
 unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood
 debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must
 be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of
 the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued.

 Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in
 violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural
 Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public
 Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan
 Compiled Laws, annotated.

 The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams
 partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and
 flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature
 are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted.

 The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all
 unauthorized activities at this location, and to restore the stream
 to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the
 dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be
 completed no later than January 31,1998.

 Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed
 so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
 Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized
 activity on the site may result in this case being referred for
 elevated enforcement action.

 We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
 matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have
 any questions.

 Sincerely,
 David L. Price
 District Representative
 Land and Water Management Division


 RESPONSE:
 ========

 Dear Mr. Price:

 Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N, R10W, Sec 20; Montcalm County

 Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to
 respond to. You sent out a great deal of carbon copies to a lot of
 people, but you neglected to include their addresses.  You will,
 therefore, have to send them a copy of my response.

 First of all, Mr. Ryan De Vries is not the legal landowner and/or
 contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan - I am the legal owner
 and a couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of
 constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the
 outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for,
 authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be
 highly offended that you call their skillful use of natural
 building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your
 department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or
 any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way
 you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness,
 their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination
 and/or their dam work ethic.

 As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they
 first must fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of
 dam activity.

 My first dam question to you is: (1) are you trying to discriminate
 against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers
 throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are
 not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the
 Freedom of Information Act I request completed copies of all those
 other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps
 we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland
 Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
 Protection Act, Act 451of the Public Acts of 1994,being sections
 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

 I have several concerns. My first concern is - aren't the beavers
 entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
 financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation
 - so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The
 Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed
 during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is
 a natural occurrence which the department is required to protect.
 In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone
 rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.

 If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition -
 please contact the beavers - but if you are going to arrest them
 (they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter --
 being unable to read English) -- be sure they are read the Miranda
 rights first. As for me, I am not going to cause more flooding or
 dam debris jams by interfering with these dam builders. If you want
 to hurt these dam beavers -- be aware I am sending a copy of your
 dam letter and this response to PETA. If your dam Department
 seriously finds all dams of this nature inherently hazardous and
 truly will not permit their existence in this State -- I seriously
 hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam policy - or once
 again both I and the Spring Pond Beavers will scream prejudice!

 In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build
 their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is
 green and water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I
 do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural
 Resources and Environmental Protection lives to its name, it should
 protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment
 (Beavers' Dams).

 So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
 referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait
 until 1/31/98?  The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice
 then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to
 contact/harass them then.

 In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real
 environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the
 bears. Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely
 believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave
 the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam,
 watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!)

 Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to
 contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this
 response to your dam office via another government organization -
 the dam USPS. Maybe, someday, it will get there.

 Sincerely,

 Stephen L. Tvedten

 cc: PETA

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