-Caveat Lector- > > Hello, Group, Wel, this relates back to a long, long thread of discussions concerning what I cannot remember. I think my contribution to the discussion was that I thought it was impossible because of the rodent's teeth, etc. Perhaps I was mistaken. Amelia PS I know I should not post this and open up this old subject, already eshausted, but I cannot help myself. > > Actual article from the LA Times: > > > > "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only > > trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomazewski told bemused doctors in > > the Severe Burn Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his > > homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency > > treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. > > "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, > > in." he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that > > he'd had enough. > > > > I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered > > into the tube > > and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." > > > > At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what > > happened > > next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out > > of the > > tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It > > also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a > > larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out > > like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken > > nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second > > degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. > > > > EDITOR'S NOTES: Top Nine Scariest Things About This Story > > 9: " I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum...Say what??? > > 8: "So I peered in to the tube..." (I'm sorry, but that's like looking > through a telescope into hell. I'd rather use binoculars to stare at > the > sun). > 7: That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem) being > shot out of a guy's ass like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on Rocky & > Bullwinkle. > > 6: Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of someone's > anus. I'm guessing, but I seriously doubt said gerbil was springtime > fresh > after his journey into Kiki's "tunnel of love." > > 5: People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in their > rectums. > > 4: People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were doing > when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would have made > up > a story about a gang of roving, pyromaniacal, anal sex fiends breaking > into my house and sodomizing me with charcoal lighter fluid before > admitting the truth. Call me old fashioned, but I just can't imagine > looking at a doctor and saying: "Well Doc, it's like this. You see, we > have this gerbil named Raggot and we took a cardboard tube ..." > > 3: "First and Second degree burns to the anus." Wouldn't this make the > burning itch and discomfort of hemorrhoids a welcome relief? How does > one > ever take a healthy dump after something like this? And the smell of a > burning anus must be in the top five most horrible scents on the face > of > God's green earth. > > 2: People named "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for: "Idiotic > white men who insert rodents up their butts." > > 1: What kind of hospital would hold a press conference on this? > > > DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance�not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
