-Caveat Lector-

KATHA POLLITT
Weird Science
My first thought upon hearing that the Kansas state education board had
removed evolution from its mandatory curriculum was: Go ahead! Be like that!
Handicap your kids for life. Let the "secular humanists" have all the good
colleges and get all the good jobs. I know this was an unworthy
thought--Darwin's demotion was a political maneuver by Christian conservative
politicians, not a grassroots effort by Kansas parents, much less their
unfortunate children--but there you are. As a rootless cosmopolitan, I get
tired of being expected to pay homage to "the heartland" as the moral center
of the universe.

And creationism, honestly! In 1999! All summer, serious newspapers have felt
it necessary to publish casuistical Op-Eds by apologists for "creation
science"--and the Old Testament is the only biology textbook you really need,
these clever fellows forgot to add. What's going on? As Stephen Jay Gould
pointed out in Time, in no other Western country is the teaching of evolution
regarded as controversial. Throughout the world, one way or another, most
Christian denominations have managed to reconcile belief in God with belief
in the mechanisms of natural selection. A French or German or Scandinavian
politician who called for students to entertain as a reasonable deduction
from existing evidence the proposition that Earth is at most 10,000 years old
would be bundled off to a mental hospital.

Creation science is religion, no matter what its apologists say; let's start
from there. No one looking at the physical record would determine that
dinosaurs and humans coexisted, that fossils represent the creatures drowned
in Noah's flood and so on. The only way those notions would even occur to you
is if you considered the Bible an unerring historical document--but why would
you think that unless you accepted the Bible as divine revelation of factual
truth? The Topeka Capital-Journal asserted that "creationism is as good a
hypothesis as any." Because no human witnessed the beginning of life on
Earth, one guess is as good as another. Of course, a great deal of science
involves making inferences about phenomena no human has witnessed--the birth
of stars, the interior of the sun, subatomic particles. And, as one wag asked
in a letter to the New York Times, would creationists argue that the vast
majority of crimes, which occur unwitnessed, should not be prosecuted?

As Theodore Schick Jr. and Lewis Vaughn explain in their wonderful book How
to Think About Weird Things, the theory of evolution fulfills all the
scientific criteria of adequacy: It is falsifiable, it predicts, it leads to
further discoveries, it is conservative, and it fits what we already know.
That isn't to say a better theory might not come along someday, but it won't
be creationism, which fails all those tests in spades. To call creationism
science (or to call evolution religion, as National Review seemed to be doing
when it recently said Darwinism and creationism are equally "fundamentalist")
is to destroy the whole concept of science. After all, if the creationists
are right, not just biology must go but also geology, archeology,
astrophysics, physics; so must radiometric and carbon-14 dating. Indeed,
creationists should be protesting every natural history museum in the country
that uses public funds to promulgate the "secular humanist" doctrine of
geological time.

In a better world, science teachers would teach creationism along with
evolution as an exercise in critical thinking. But critical thinking is not
what creationists are interested in. Nor, so far, are the usual people who
love to weigh in on educational scandals. In fact, that's one of the most
interesting aspects of the creationism flap. Al Gore, who bills himself as
Mr. Science, finds himself unable to speak out on Kansas, saying that the
decision to teach evolution should be left to local school boards (the same
position taken by George W. Bush). And where are the doughty soldiers in the
science and education wars who profess to uphold standards and truth against
the irrationalist hordes? Where are the customary bemoaners of educational
"fads" and politicized curriculums--Michael Kelly, William Buckley, Bill
Bennett, Maureen Dowd? Sparring on ABC with a refreshingly rational George
Will, William Kristol said teaching creationism was understandable enough.

If, as so many commentators maintain, it's good for black students to read
Huckleberry Finn even if its use of the n-word in dialogue hurts their
feelings (and I would say it is good), why isn't it good for the children of
fundamentalists to study modern biology even if that unsettles their faith?
If standard biology is adequate to show that breast implants don't cause
autoimmune diseases, why is it useless to help us decide if eohippus is the
ancestor of the modern horse? The ferocious defenders of the scientific
method were quick to take to the word processor to congratulate Alan Sokal
when he succeeded in publishing a parody of left-academic science critique as
the real thing a few years ago. They don't seem to see that the mainstreaming
of creationism presents some of the same issues as the "postmodernism" or
"antifoundationalism" they despise: Both stances reject the idea of the
"master narrative" of science based on reason, evidence and expertise in
favor of cultural relativism; both accept the idea that "truth" is social and
political and provisional, not "out there." For both, knowledge is a social
construct. Creationism is just as political, and just as damaging to real
education, as Afrocentrism, "Egyptian mathematics" and other self-esteemful
tidbits tossed out by schools to placate powerless but angry constituencies
or flatter liberal psyches. But it's infinitely more likely that
incontrovertible evidence will someday show that the Egyptians really were
black, that the Iroquois really did inspire the US Constitution and that
women ruled in the Old Stone Age than that creationism will ever meet the
standards of verifiability by which the contents of our nation's textbooks
are supposedly judged.

Maybe the science wars in academia focus on the "left" because they are
partly a struggle over academic turf. In the universities, fundamentalists
are irrelevant. In the real world, though, fundamentalists have lots of power
and lots of votes, so no one wants to alienate them. Just ask Al Gore and
George W.

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