Perhaps there is something that many people do not understand, something I
have only come to understand in the past couple of years, the human side of
this political argument.
I have three good friends who are female and two of them had abortions many
years ago that affect them now.
One is a devout athiest (if you can be devout) and had an abortion when she
was 17 years old. She didn't think much about it until she married and had
her first child. Since then she has been troubled by this abortion. She
feels as if she is a murderer and although she went to a counselor for
several years, she can't seem to shake that feeling. She turned to alcohol
to ease her pain. Her husband divorced her and although her children are now
adults, they don't speak to her. I guess you could say that abortion ruined
her life. She can't keep a job, she really hates herself. I've talked to
her literally hundreds of times and this is always on her mind. I've also
wondered if she would have had a problem with this if there weren't so much
publicity about it.
Another lady I know had an abortion when she was in her early twenties. She
was in college and wanted to finish, thought it would be too hard if she had
to take care of a baby. She married in her mid-thirties and wanted to raise
a family. She couldn't get pregnant and finally went to the Doctor and found
she couldn't have children because the abortion she had ten years or so
earlier had not been performed correctly. Until then she didn't know
anything was wrong. She divorced her husband, thinking he deserved a family,
and that she couldn't please him. When I met her she was going to therapy.
She had trouble holding a job, at least a good one. Rather than using her
marketing degree, she was working in an electronics assembly plant. Last
time I saw her she was beginning to drink more than normal and I heard from
her she was still depressed and was having a hard time finding and keeping a
job.
Another friend of mine admitted that she got pregnant when she was 15. She
married the guy that got her pregnant, then divorced him six weeks later when
he beat her so bad she had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. I got
that feeling that she was also going to be a loser, but she still seemed
normal after we went out together for over three months. She finally invited
me to her home. She introduced me to her two sons and we played a little
baseball till it got dark. Later that night a young lady came in the house
and my girlfriend introduced her as her daughter. I was very surprised,
apparently she didn't get an abortion, I just assumed she did since she was
so young and her "husband" was such an asshole. She was the most "together"
lady I had ever met. She later told me it was hard going to high school
after having the baby, not to mention finding someone that wanted to date her
at that age, but she came through all this adversity smelling like a rose.
Because of these personal experiences I often wonder if an abortion fouls a
woman's life, or (abortion or not) maybe these other women were just weak.
Or, does having an abortion make a woman weak, even years after it happens?
Regards,
Bob Stokes
<A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/">www.ctrl.org</A>
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