I found this on www.altcity.com:


Liberal - A wealthy person who comprehends that his or her relatively
comfortable position in life was assisted--at least in part--by birth or
fortunate circumstances. A  person who suffers from empathy for those less
fortunate bordering on guilt--such that this person sees fit to support
inefficient and bloated bureaucratic programs ostensibly designed to
assist the economically disadvantaged but that generally serve only to
further line the pockets of the already well-to-do and that are extremely
 unlikely to deliver 2 cents worth of actual directed benefit for every
tax dollar spent.

Conservative - A wealthy person who is willing to make everyone pay for
big government only if it helps facilitate or preserve an economic system
that wholly benefits anyone who has already got his or hers. A person who
preaches less  government and bureaucracy while rushing to spend countless
billions on defense,  prisons, police, highways and other corporate
welfare. An individual who thinks that the only legitimate arena for
government is an unfathomably expensive "home security system" for the
rich and who believes that the rest of government's services would be more
fairly distributed by the free market system--in other words, only to
those with the means to afford them. A person who either has no empathy
for those  less fortunate or is somehow able to rationalize any away--such
that this person sees fit to support inefficient and bloated bureaucratic
programs designed primarily to punish the economically disadvantaged but
that generally serve only to further line the pockets of the already
well-to-do and that are extremely unlikely to deliver 2 cents worth of
actual directed punishment for every tax dollar spent. Since so few
Americans (5% at most) actually benefit economically from such policies,
core  conservatives have wisely formed a coalition with social
conservatives who come  from a wide variety of economic backgrounds but
who are strangely more concerned  with revenge, xenophobia and other
people's religious, sexual and reproductive  choices than their own
pocketbooks.

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