-----Original Message-----
From: NewsHawk Inc. <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Date: Wednesday, 17 May 2000 06:40
Subject: So Long, Dalai; Take A Hike


5.16.00
So Long, Dalai; Take A Hike




The Dalai Lama's "more-spiritual-than-thou" image takes a serious,
perhaps decisively final and definitely well-deserved BLOW. Pow!



NewsHawk� Inc.

+++++++++++++++
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Subject: Konformist: The Lama Is a Llama


Please send as far and wide as possible.

Thanks,

Robert Sterling
Editor, The Konformist
http://www.konformist.com


His material highness


FAR FROM HIS HOLIER-THAN-ALL IMAGE, THE DALAI LAMA SUPPORTS SUCH
QUESTIONABLE CAUSES AS INDIA'S NUCLEAR TESTING, SEX WITH PROSTITUTES AND
ACCEPTING DONATIONS FROM A JAPANESE TERRORIST CULT.


BY CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS |

The Dalai Lama has come out in support of the thermonuclear tests
recently conducted by the Indian state, and has done so in the very
language of the chauvinist parties who now control that state's affairs.
The "developed" countries, he says, must realize that India is a major
contender and should not concern themselves with its internal affairs.
This is a perfectly realpolitik statement, so crass and banal and
opportunist that it would not deserve any comment if it came from
another source.

"Think different," says the ungrammatical Apple Computer advertisement
that features the serene visage of His Holiness. Among the untested
assumptions of this billboard campaign is the widely and lazily held
belief that "Oriental" religion is different from other faiths: less
dogmatic, more contemplative, more ... transcendental. This blissful,
thoughtless exceptionalism has been conveyed to the West through a
succession of mediums and narratives, ranging from the pulp novel "Lost
Horizon," by James Hilton (creator of Mr. Chips as well as Shangri-La),
to the memoir "Seven Years in Tibet," by SS veteran Heinrich Harrer,
prettified for the screen by Brad Pitt. China's foul conduct in an
occupied land, combined with a Hollywood cult that almost exceeds the
power of Scientology, has fused with weightless Maharishi and
Bhagwan-type babble to create an image of an idealized Tibet and of a
saintly god-king. So perhaps the Apple injunction to think differently
is worth heeding.

The greatest triumph that modern PR can offer is the transcendent
success of having your words and actions judged by your reputation,
rather than the other way about. The "spiritual leader" of Tibet has
enjoyed this unassailable status for some time now, becoming a byword
and synonym for saintly and ethereal values. Why this doesn't put people
on their guard I'll never know. But here are some other facts about the
serene leader that, dwarfed as they are by his endorsement of nuclear
weapons, are still worth knowing and still generally unknown.


Shoko Asahara, leader of the Supreme Truth cult in Japan and spreader of
sarin nerve gas on the Tokyo subway, donated 45 million rupees, or about
170 million yen (about $1.2 million), to the Dalai Lama and was rewarded
for his efforts by several high-level meetings with the divine one.

Steven Seagal, the robotic and moronic "actor" who gave us "Hard to
Kill" and "Under Siege," has been proclaimed a reincarnated lama and a
sacred vessel or "tulku" of Tibetan Buddhism. This decision, ratified by
Penor Rinpoche, supreme head of the Nyingma School of Tibetan Buddhism,
was initially received with incredulity by Richard Gere, who had
hitherto believed himself to be the superstar most favored. "If
someone's a tulku, that's great," he was quoted as saying. "But no one
knows if that's true." How insightful, if only accidentally. At a
subsequent Los Angeles appearance by the Dalai Lama, Seagal was seated
in the front row and Gere two rows back, thus giving the latter's
humility and submissiveness a day at the races. Suggestions that
Seagal's fortune helped elevate him to the Himalayan status of tulku are
not completely discounted even by some adepts and initiates.

Supporters of the Dorge Shugden deity -- a "Dharma protector" and an
ancient object of worship and propitiation in Tibet -- have been
threatened with violence and ostracism and even death following the
Dalai Lama's abrupt prohibition of this once-venerated godhead. A Swiss
television documentary graphically intercuts footage of His Holiness,
denying all knowledge of menace and intimidation, with scenes of his
followers' enthusiastically promulgating "Wanted" posters and other
paraphernalia of excommunication and persecution.

While he denies being a Buddhist "Pope," the Dalai Lama is never happier
than when brooding in a celibate manner on the sex lives of people he
has never met. "Sexual misconduct for men and women consists of oral and
anal sex," he has repeatedly said in promoting his book on these
matters. "Using one's hand, that is sexual misconduct." But, as ever
with religious stipulations, there is a nutty escape clause. "To have
sexual relations with a prostitute paid by you and not by a third person
does not constitute improper behavior." Not all of this can have been
said just to placate Richard Gere, or to attract the royalties from
"Pretty Woman." I have talked to a few Dorge Shugden adherents, who seem
sincere enough and who certainly seem frightened enough, but I can't go
along with their insistence on the "irony" of all this. Buddhism can be
as hysterical and sanguinary as any other system that relies on faith
and tribe. Lon Nol's Cambodian army was Buddhist at least in name.
Solomon Bandaranaike, first elected leader of independent Sri Lanka, was
assassinated by a Buddhist militant. It was Buddhist-led pogroms against
the Tamils that opened the long and disastrous communal war that ruins
Sri Lanka to this day. The gorgeously named SLORC, the military fascism
that runs Burma, does so nominally as a Buddhist junta. I have even
heard it whispered that in old Tibet, that pristine and contemplative
land, the lamas were the allies of feudalism and unsmilingly inflicted
medieval punishments such as blinding and flogging unto death.

Yet the entire Western mass media is uncritically at the service of a
mere mortal who, at the very least, proclaims the utter nonsense of
reincarnation and who affirms the sinister if not indeed crazy belief
that death is but a stage in a grand cycle of what appears to be
futility and subjection. What need, then, to worry about nuclear
weaponry, or sectarian frenzy, or the sale of indulgences to men of the
stamp of Steven Seagal? "Harmony" will doubtless kick in. During his
visit to Beijing, our sentimental Baptist hypocrite of a president
turned to his dictator host, recommended that he meet with the Dalai
Lama and assured him that the two of them would get on well. That might
easily turn out to be the case. Both are very much creatures of the
material world.

SALON | July 13, 1998

Christopher Hitchens, a columnist for Vanity Fair, is a regular
contributor to Salon.


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