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The Lame Humor List - http://robeo.cjb.net?lhl =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Absolute Robeo will double the amount we are now paying you every time someone comes to Absolute Robeo from your site! Hard to believe isn't it? Well, it's absolutely true. We would not lie about something like that. No, it would have to be much more important for us to lie about it. Join the Absolute Robeo Affiliate Program at http://robeo.cjb.net?lhl_affiliate today! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Military Automated Artillery Support Request Line Ever wonder how the trend of replacing human customer service representatives with computers could affect the military. Here's the result. Picture troops under fire, desperately needing artillery support, making a phone call and hearing the following: Thank you for calling the 26th Division's automated artillery support request line. Please be assured that we will attempt to assist you with all available resources in the shortest time possible. For air support, please call the U.S. Air Force at 1-800-BOMBNOW. [In enemy language: If you are a member of the [enemy country] army, we will not be able to assist you. Please contact your own army's artillery support request line at 1-800-DIEYANK] If you are attacking a fixed enemy position, please press 1. If you are engaged in mobile defense, please press 2. If you are defending a fixed position, please press 3. If you are setting up a hasty defense or are about to be overrun, please press 4. If you wish to cancel a prior fire mission request, please press 5. Press the star key at any time to return to the main menu. Please select the type of fire mission you would like. If you would like 81 mm mortars, please press 1. If you would like 105 mm howitzers, please press 2. If you would like advanced munitions, such as fuel-oil explosives or scattering mines, please press 3 to speak with one of our soldier advocates. If you would like to request the use of chemical or nuclear weapons, please press 4 and hold the line. The Secretary of Defense will speak with you as soon as possible. Enter the map coordinates of the target you would like to strike, followed by the pound sign. Please remember to verify your coordinates and remember that your request may take several minutes to process. [Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep] You have entered co-ordinates 323451. If this is correct, please press 1. Thank you. Please enter your battalion pass-code, followed by the pound sign. As soon as we verify your pass-code, we will begin processing your request. If you have forgotten your pass-code, please contact 1-800-WE-FUBAR to get a temporary pass-code. Please enter your passcode now. [Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep] Thank you. [Pause] Your pass-code has been verified and your request will be processed. We strongly suggest that you and your comrades take cover as soon as possible. Thank you for using the 26th Division's artillery request support line. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Hey hey hey! Is Absolute Robeo and the Lame Humor List to your liking? Why not tell your friends and family about it? Well then, you can go to http://www.recommend-it.com/l.z.e?s=416061 and Recommend-It (tm) to your friends and family and your friends and families friends and family and then, do it again! :) Robeo =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Lame Humor List ISSN: 1530-3128 http://robeo.cjb.net ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED] ______________________________________________________________________ Advertisement: 15% off Ashford Collection jewelry for Mother's Day! Mom will love these gorgeous pieces handpicked by our expert jewelry buyers - now 15% off and shipped FedEx overnight FREE! Spoiled as a child? Return the favor - get her gift at Ashford.com. http://on.linkexchange.com/?ATID=27&AID=1231
