from:
http://www.aci.net/kalliste/
Click Here: <A HREF="http://www.aci.net/kalliste/">The Home Page of J. Orlin
Grabbe</A>
-----
Another Cruise Missile on Its Way
The Straight Scoop from Bill Clinton's Penis
Next: Hillary stars in the Vagina Monologues.
by Matt Drudge
XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX FRI JULY 07 2000 13:42:09 ET XXXXX
CLINTON PENIS SPEAKS, ESZTERHAS UNLEASHED; WHITE HOUSE �FURIOUS�
**Exclusive**
"He�s trying to muzzle Willard. I thought it was only fair that Willard
finally be heard, especially since so many people have seen him. Mr.
President, Free Willard! Let Willard stick up for himself!"
That�s author Joe Eszterhas�s response to the DRUDGE REPORT�s exclusive that
President Clinton is angry at his book AMERICAN RHAPSODY in which Willard �
Clinton�s name for his penis � speaks!
But now, in an excerpt from the book obtained by the DRUDGE REPORT, Willard
says:
"Billy doesn�t love Hilla the Hun. He never has. He loves me� Billy�s worked
me hard my whole life, but I�m not tired. I�ve never been inoperative. I�ve
always had a lot of get-up-and-go� The attention he pays to me is nice.
Nurturing. Enabling. Empowering� I�ve seen almost as much sunshine as Billy.
I�m an overachiever who�s been externalized with an air of grandiosity."
A senior White House aide, who was read excerpts on Friday, blasted the
project.
"This is way out of bounds. Outrageous!" declared the aide. "The president
will not be amused... the publisher should be ashamed. Why humiliate the
first lady?"
Comedian Bill Maher, who recently hosted a fund-raiser for Clinton, will play
Willard in NEW MILLENNIUM�s audio presentation of the book, the DRUDGE REPORT
can now confirm.
President Clinton has privately expressed disappointment in Maher playing his
penis, the senior adviser said.
"It�s just something we�d rather not have in the stores," said the aide.
"We�d hope everyone involved would show taste and discretion."
But these final days of the Clinton presidency are difficult for Willard,
according to Eszterhas�s book, set for release July 18th by KNOPF.
Clinton's penis: "They�re trashing me everywhere and for the first time in my
life I�m worried about sags in my self esteem. They say I�m too small and
point out that Marla Maples calls the Donald�s �Trump Tower.� Well, I�m not
too small. From what Truman Capote said, I�m probably bigger than Jack�s or
Bobby�s but not as big as LBJ�s, who called his �Jumbo.� Please I�m healthy
and All-American! I�ve always been user friendly, equal opportunity, global,
and all-inclusive."
Willard, as reported by Eszterhas�s book, feels wistful about Monica
Lewinsky. "Had it all turned out differently," Willard says, "I could have
had a lot of fun with her. Gennifer Flowers in training maybe. She was a
young woman with great interpersonal, inappropriate potential."
Eszterhas is set to appear on NBC�s TODAY show the day RHAPSODY is launched.
But producers will ask the author not to reference Clinton�s talking penis,
according to network sources.
Developing...
[FOOTNOTE: Eszterhas was ranked #340 on AMAZON.COM's sales ranking on
Friday.]
The Drudge Report, July 7, 2000
-----
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Om, Shalom, Salaam.
Em Hotep, Peace Be,
Omnia Bona Bonis,
All My Relations.
Adieu, Adios, Aloha.
Amen.
Roads End
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