The Scoop - http://www.bobharris.com/

THE SCOOP for July 31, 2000
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GOP Convention Notes #2
� 2000 Bob Harris
http://www.bobharris.com
mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]

* * = italics



GOP Convention notes from Sunday:


The convention, naturally enough, is *not* being held at the Pennsylvania
Convention Center, which is downtown and would be readily available to
protesters.  The GOP is south of town, in Philly's shiny new hockey rink,
the First Union Arena.

The Convention Center, instead, is home to PoliticalFest, a Spam-like
simulacrum where visitors can witness symbols of the democratic process
that have nothing to do with actual democracy itself.  These are actually
on display, my hand to God:

o A scary-looking two-foot tall tiki mask of George Bush
o A Bill Blass gown worn by Barbara Bush while dining with the President
of Yemen
o A jacket owned by Gerald Ford's mother
o A menu from Harry Truman's inauguration
o One of Herbert Hoover's fishing reels

If that's not enough, nearby is the Memorabilia Marketplace, a shopping
mall selling oodles of replicas of similar crap, plus a bazillion official
George W. Bush T-shirts, hats, lapel pins, and plush elephants.

Much of this will be available for free to the rich people back at actual
convention.  People without credentials, of course have to pay.

___________________________

The side of the First Union Arena has been sold as ad space to a company
that is not First Union.

Apparently *everything* is for sale here.

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Outside of the sports complex (Veterans Stadium, home to the Eagles, the
Phillies, and the Army/Navy football game is nearby), the neighborhood
quickly becomes one W. himself wouldn't dream of walking around alone.
Thanks to an attempted rape, NBC has actually relocated all of the female
employees out of the nearby Stadium Holiday Inn.

Thanks to the arena's location, a massive police presence, and other
logistics, protesters are nowhere to be seen.  Not one.  All the protests
today were closer to downtown.

About 750 people listened to Ralph Nader over near City Hall this morning.
Perhaps twice that many showed up for the Unity 2000 rally.  This was all
in other parts of town, safely away from the prying eyes of the assembled
media.


___________________________

There are 15,000 reporters here, warehoused mostly in four giant inflated
temporary pavilions the size of aircraft hangers and lined up adjacent to
the arena itself.  The pavilions are a self-contained world, complete with
offices, restaurants, bathrooms, and even golf cart transportation.  Many
reporters will do all of their work within this bubble.

There's often nothing interesting going on.  Nothing.  So thousands of
news stories are about to be written about the lack of anything to write
about.

Here's how bad it is: I've personally already been interviewed by the AP
and the Houston Chronicle, and they didn't even know who I was.  Reporters
are literally walking up to other reporters, starting conversations, and
then taking notes.

I called a friend of mine who was at a protest where pairs of shoes,
representing victims of gun violence, were put on display.  Not one
reporter got anywhere near him.

I ducked my head into the booth of a *major* weekly news magazine and
asked if anyone knew how to get to the Unity 2000 march, exactly.  No one
did.

___________________________

I can't help but think that the amount of energy that went into
constructing this temporary city might better have gone into rebuilding
the surrounding neighborhood of Philadelphia itself.

___________________________

Reporters arrive at the convention via the GOP Express, a series of
private shuttle buses and vans given special priority through traffic.
The bus I rode in on was allowed to pass a police road block at the
freeway exit, then went through a courteous search prior to admission to
the convention grounds.

As the Secret Service agent eyed my bag as if it were a bomb, I noticed
the GOP slogan in forty-foot letters on the side of the arena: Renewing
America's Purpose, Together.

Nothing makes you want to Renew America more than feeling like you're in a
third world country.

___________________________

Finally inside, I got my first peek at our broadcast booth along Radio Row.

Michael Medved will be in front of me and to the right.  Just like in real
life.

Oliver North will be far to my right, and facing the other way entirely.
Also just like in real life.

___________________________

In Pavilion 3, a group of reporters were staring at ABC's morning
interview show in rapt attention.  They were all watching George
Stephanopolous... with the volume down.

I have no idea what this means.  I don't even want to think about it.

Tom Brokaw put in a brief appearance at the MSNBC booth, about 100 feet
from ours.  He seemed to listen vaguely to a producer and mostly stared
into space.

A small crowd gathered to watch him do this.

___________________________

Later, I passed the same TV, this time tuned to C-SPAN, just as John
McCain told the Shadow Convention audience that George W. Bush is the true
candidate of change.

Boos.
Catcalls.
More boos.
McCain almost left.
Arianna Huffington came out and pleaded with people to stop.
McCain finished his speech, skipped his planned Q&A session, and left the
room immersed in hostility.

John McCain's credibility as a reformer is now officially zero.

___________________________

The Courtesy Desk area is flanked by an endless reservoir of coffee urns,
cold soda, and TastyKakes, a local brand of soft brownie or unfilled
cupcake which is brown, sweet, and vaguely chocolatey.

These are free and all-you-can-eat, all day long.

When the soda and TastyKakes frequently run out, they are immediately
replenished by as many as *five people* carrying boxes in something akin
to a diabetic commando raid.

This one sight was worth the trip to Philly alone.

___________________________

A book-length treatment summarizing Bush's positions has been
mass-produced and is available in giant free stacks to any and all.  The
only other authors I have ever seen distributed this way are Lyndon
LaRouche and L. Ron Hubbard, who may have actually written their books.
(In fairness, I'm sure there will be similar crap when the Democrats meet
in a couple of weeks.)  When the books run out, people arrive with boxes
and replenish the piles.

Infinite Bush, infinite TastyKakes.

Infinite fear for the future.

___________________________

The sides of every garbage container, incidentally, have been sold as ad
space.

___________________________

Inside the arena itself, twenty-foot photos of hockey and basketball
greats have been temporarily plastered over with enormous portraits of
George W. and family.  I can't help but remember that Saddam Hussein's
people have a similar giant portrait fetish.

Enormous flowering plants are being rolled in by underpaid workers.  The
band is practicing short musical pieces to cue commercial ins and outs.
Balloons for dropping in choreographed joy are already strapped in giant
nets to the ceiling.  There is a Disneyish sense of falsified spontaneity
throughout.

My favorite sign in the arena?  A right-pointing arrow, labeled:

Victory Pavilion
GOP Express
Mens Restroom

All in the same direction.

___________________________

NBC's broadcast position in the Arena is directly behind the delegates
from Guam and American Samoa.  For a moment, a little justice.

___________________________

The convention, not surprisingly, is almost entirely white.  (To be fair,
so was the Green convention, which cheered anything about conservation and
the environment with not a single recycling bin in sight, leaving the hall
after Nader's acceptance speech in an inch-hich layer of confetti, popped
balloons, and used beverage containers.)

With strikingly few exceptions, almost the only black faces present are
the hired help.

Go a floor below the main entry concourse and walk the unpainted floors
and ride the service elevators and ask the folks in there what they think
of the GOP -- or Democratic -- plans on behalf of working people.  Several
have promised to come on my show Friday, after the main convention is over
and they don't need to fear for their temporary gigs.  I'm curious to find
out how they've been treated by their employers.

In the meantime, I watch reporters as they scurry, looking to see if they
even notice all the folks doing the heavy work so the air conditioning and
the wiring and the porta-plumbing all works.  My dad used to bust his back
doing that kind of work for GM.

Watch how many reporters even deign to make eye contact.

You want to see the real media bias in this country first-hand?  Get up
close.

You can see it in their eyes.

___________________________
___________________________


Bob Harris is a political humorist whose morning radio show can be heard
online from 8-11 am EST at http://www.radioforchange.com.

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Bob�s Big Plug-O-Rama� (updated 7/29/00):


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