---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 13:56:42 -0700
From: Tim May <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: FBI Listens to Carnivore Criticism

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Routers) -- FBI Director Louis Freeh announced
today that the Federal Bureau of Investigation takes the criticism of
its wiretapping computer sniffer Carnivore "very seriously." In a
hastily-called press conference, he acknowledged that the FBI had
"underestimated the importance of the Constitution to the
citizen-units.'

"We are withdrawing Carnivore at this time," he said to an assembled
audience of journalists, activists, and visiting death squad
officials from South America. "Simply put, we expected citizen-units
to simply shrug off our latest surveillance measures. That, and the
name. Apparently we insulted the vegetarian and vegan contingent," he
joked.

Director Freeh announced that while Carnivore was being withdrawn,
the FBI would go ahead with deployment of a much more powerful system
called "Childsaver."

"Childsaver is our next-generation "first mover advantage" product,"
said Freeh, adopting the FBI's new dotcom-friendly jargon.
"Childsaver is a best-of-breed product. It gives us a powerful edge
in the surveillance space, and we think our investors will be happy."

Childsaver, as Director Freeh explained it, will require suppliers of
browsers and mail programs to install the Childsaver plug-in in every
program shipped. "Childsaver will allow the legitimate needs of law
enforcement by enabling lawful surveillance orders to be carried out
swiftly and undetectably."

When asked by a reporter if Carnivore had always been intended as a
sacrifice move, to be abandoned and replaced by the better-sounding
Childsaver, Director Freeh referred all such questions to the
Ministry of Truth.


(end)

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