-Caveat Lector- from: http://www.zolatimes.com/V2.40/consprat.html Click Here: <A HREF="http://www.zolatimes.com/V2.40/consprat.html">I Visit Conspiracy Rat</A> ----- I Visit Conspiracy Rat by King Rat Some people wonder where I've been. I've been keeping my ass out of the line of fire, that's where. Last February I thought D.C. was going to turn into a war zone. Demos vs. Repubs and a lot of extracurricular activity. Usually such games are just meant to entertain the voters back home while the more serious work of dividing up the cheese takes place behind closed doors. So with real bullets flying, I went underground. I left it to the clueless to go out and get their tails shot off. Myself, I'm a master of survival. That's why they call me King Rat. One bright and sunny day in November, I suddenly realized there was no war. It was all lovey-dovey between Repubs and Demos. The voters have spoken, they were whispering. They want us all to get along and work together to amass the maximum amount of cheese possible to divvy up among us rats! It was astonishing. Some politician one time had described voters as rat bait, but I had to see it to believe it. Moreover, the Chinese cheese pipeline appeared intact, which meant I could get back to the task of getting my fair share. Like they say, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. It was a fine day and I went over to Lafayette Park to dance a rat jig I do to the God of Government when times are especially good. But the park was kind of crowded with imbeciles carrying signs like "Impeach the Lying Bastard" and "This man leaves a bad taste in our mouths." I had no idea who they were talking about. Although one sign referred to "Wolf Blitzer, White House Whore," so I decided it was probably a rival news organization. I walked over to the Mall for some privacy, and danced my jig there. That's when I decided to visit Conspiracy Rat. I knew he showed up every noon at the Smithsonian to check on Foucault's pendulum. Foucault's pendulum is a Big Swinging Mass. Because of inertia, it tries to stay swinging back and forth in the same plane. But because the earth is rotating, it knocks over a circle of markers placed around it over a 24-hour period. I like the exhibit, but have never figured out how to earn any cheese from the idea. Conspiracy Rat wasn't like that. He thought you were supposed to know things for their own sake. It was quite a stupid notion. What was the point if there was no cheese involved? That undoubtedly was the reason Conspiracy Rat was always hard up for cheese. But I perceived the current moment as a time of transition. Demos and Repubs united to rip off the voters. It was one of those pivotal moments when I was prone to consult astrologers, read tarot cards, and think about my future. Rats also believe. Conspiracy Rat had his notebook out, taking down observations on the pendulum. He was trying to detect anomalies. He thought something was occurring with respect to the earth's rotation. Something bad, naturally. And the North and South magnetic poles were about to shift polarity. But I wanted to talk about politics. Maybe Conspiracy Rat had his finger on what was happening, and I would get it for free. I mustered my warmest greeting: "Why, hello Conspiracy Rat!" I smiled enthusiastically at this chance encounter. Conspiracy Rat looked up from his notebook. "Um," he said, noncommittally. He sat down in front of one of the markers and looked around. When he thought no one was watching, he made a small pencil mark on the floor. Then he got up, snapped his notebook shut, and started to leave. He almost ran into me. "Oh!" he said in surprise, his tail bobbing straight up into the air. Then: "Oh. Hello your highness." That was his way of putting me down by mocking at my title. But I was used to it and didn't pay any attention. "Well, Conspiracy Rat," I said. "How are you? What do you think of all this camaraderie between Demos and Repubs?" I smiled at him encouragingly, eager to receive his occult wisdom. I almost wished I was a girl rat so I could bat my eyelashes at him. But no matter, he took the bait. "Bob Livingston is the compromise president," Conspiracy Rat said firmly. "Oh, how is that?" I asked eagerly. My mouth was salivating, and I was afraid it might start foaming. "Obviously, if Clinton goes, Gore will go shortly thereafter. That makes Livingston president. Unless, of course, Gore has time to appoint a vice-president in the meantime. Which is quite possible. But what has been eliminated is the possibility of Gingrich becoming president. With Gingrich gone, it means the way is paved to kick out Clinton and Gore." This took me back somewhat. Maybe Conspiracy Rat, always on the edge anyway, had finally gone off his rocker. "Who wants to kick out Clinton and Gore? The voters have spoken. We all love one another now. We're back to collecting cheese as normal," I said. Conspiracy Rate waved his hand dismissively. "You know about the three factions?" He looked at me belligerently. "No. Which three factions?" "In the intelligence community. You've got the internationalists, the new world order types. That's Faction 1." "Faction 1. New world order," I repeated. "Then you've got the nationalists, who want to pull the U.S. out of the UN, stop the trade with China, and so on. Get foreign troops off U.S. soil. That's Faction 2. They're centered in Naval Intelligence. They're the ones who have been trying to kick Clinton out. They didn't like Gingrich either, and were quite happy to see him go. Gingrich was new world order in a different package." "Faction 2. Nationalists. Navy," I said. Conspiracy Rat stopped there, like it should all be clear to me now. "Faction 3," I said. "Who is Faction 3?" "Oh, that's the Rogue Elephants. Miscellaneous group. Many of the old OSS types. Their agenda is different. Making money. Dealing drugs and arms and all the other things they learned to do by profession." "Faction 3. Rogue Elephants. Scoring cheese," I said. Then: "Who are the good guys?" Conspiracy Rat looked at me uncomprehendingly, like I was insane. "Good guys? Good guys?" Oops. I had forgotten myself, committed a serious faux pas. I recovered quickly: "I mean, who is winning? Who is scoring the cheese, these days?" Conspiracy Rat nodded. "Hard to say. For a while it looked like Faction 2 was going to clean up. You see, this Lewinsky thing was first leaked by the Mossad. The Mossad had bugged Monica's phone over at her Watergate apartment, and so the Israelis knew about Clinton's affair. They were the ones who initially dumped the info on the media. The idea was to create a Clinton scandal so he would back off the pressure he was trying to put on Israel to make a deal with the Palestinians. Then Faction 2 kicked in to exploit it also because it suited their purposes, and Starr's investigation got underway. It was the only solid thing Starr had, and the story had momentum. On all the other stuff, the witnesses kept getting killed, or dying, or fleeing the country, with the help of Clinton's people and Faction 1. But, as you see, Clinton has survived, but not Gingrich. Gingrich was Clinton's punching boy, perfect for a politician like Clinton. But now Clinton doesn't have an easy target against which to rally the troops. So Faction 2 has made some progress, but not as much as they had hoped." "So Faction 2 is trying to get rid of Clinton?" "Yes. They tried to force him out in 1996. They considered the Kennedy option, but rejected that. They didn't want a martyr on their hands. Hell, that woud have gotten Hillary elected president." "The Kennedy option?" "Yeah. You know what happened to Kennedy, don't you?" Conspiracy Rat said sarcastically. "Right. Got you. So what happened?" "So they went for the Nixon option. Get a resignation. But they didn't have enough firepower. They got a high-level Democrat delegation to urge Clinton to resign. But Clinton said no. One of the reasons is his own people told him they would kill him if he resigned. Clinton was more afraid of Faction 1, his own supporters, than Faction 2. And Faction 2 never managed to pull off what they had planned." "What's the plan?" "The plan was Gore would resign. Then Clinton would appoint Jay Rockefeller as vice-president, and he would be confirmed by congress as an acceptable compromise candidate. Then Clinton would be forced out himself, in exchange for a pardon by Rockefeller. That was being worked on recently. But there was a catch: Gore wouldn't go first. And it's hard to kick him out first with Clinton around. He's too much part of Clinton's survival strategy." "So what's going to happen? What's going on now, after the election?" If I looked a little bewildered, it was because I was. "So. You've got Bob Livingston in for Gingrich. The next thing is to push Clinton out. Reno is in on the plot to do that." "That's ridiculous," I said. "Reno has protected Clinton at every turn." "So far. Because the Clintons have a file on her that's a mile long. She's got to cover her ass in all directions. Why do you think Clinton appointed her? Because her background was clean? Hell, no, that's not the type of person you can control. He appointed her because she has a lot of baggage from her time in Florida." "And Reno refused to appoint a special prosecutor for Gore," I added. "Right. Someone has to be around to administer the pardons. But now she is on notice from Hatch and others that if she does this again, that if she doesn't appoint a special prosecutor--a second one--for Clinton over the campaign finance irregularities, then she herself may be impeached. So, at the last minute, she is going to make the decision to appoint a second special prosecutor for Clinton." "Do you really believe that?" I asked Conspiracy Rat. I mean, he said all this with a straight face. He shrugged. "That's the plan. We'll see in a few days. Either Reno will appoint a second special prosecutor or she won't. For herself, it's the files on one hand, or impeachment on the other. She's got both tits in a ringer." "What else have they got on Clinton?" "The Hillary indictment." "Yeah? How does that work?" Conspiracy Rat looked at his watch. "Hillary is all set to continue the New Age New World legacy of village socialism with her future career as an international bureaucrat, a UN muck-a-muck or whatever, and also probably a run for senator or president later on. An indictment would jeopardize all this, and a conviction would kill it for sure. Right now, it's not a problem, because if Starr announced the indictment, Clinton could pardon her. That's why Starr is holding back. So before Clinton could ever leave, there would have to be a deal to quash the Hillary indictment, or for her to get a presidential pardon before things ever went to trial. If worst comes to worst, Hillary gets indicted after Clinton leaves office in January 2001." I thought about it a second. But not for very long, because Conspiracy Rat was making motions of leaving. "But what else do they have up their sleeve? What could force Clinton out besides a special prosecutor?" "That," said Conspiracy Rat, "is the $64 dollar question." Conspiracy Rat abruptly turned and walked off. I watched him leave, then returned to the Mall and headed in the direction of the Lincoln Memorial. My head was spinning. The Kennedy option. The Nixon option. Factions 1, 2, 3. Hillary indictment. Maybe things weren't as safe as they appeared. The cheese. It always came back to the cheese. But it felt good to be out and about. So when I got to the Lincoln Memorial, I danced another little rat jig, and stuck my tongue out at the tourists. -30- from The Laissez Faire City Times, Vol 2, No 40, November 30, 1998 ----- Aloha, He'Ping, Om, Shalom, Salaam. Em Hotep, Peace Be, All My Relations. Omnia Bona Bonis, Adieu, Adios, Aloha. Amen. Roads End <A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/">www.ctrl.org</A> DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion & informational exchange list. Proselytizing propagandic screeds are unwelcomed. Substance�not soap-boxing�please! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory'�with its many half-truths, mis- directions and outright frauds�is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRLgives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. 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