-Caveat Lector-
>
> >If you are not sure who to vote for and the true meaning of
> >L I F E then you should consider the following information
> >that will enable you to cope with the media's reports on
> >the polls and understanding each candidate's position
> >on the issues on the new millennium.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Why did the chicken cross the road?
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > VICE PRESIDENT GORE
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the
> >
> >> > > > > chickens right now. I will not give up on the
> >
> >> > > > > chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the
> >
> >> > > > > chickens and I will not disappoint them.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >>
> >
> >> > > > > GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH> > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the
> >
> >> > > > > road. I say give the road to the chickens and let
> >
> >> > > > > them decide. The government needs to let go of
> >
> >> > > > > strangling the chickens so they can get across the
> >
> >> > > > > road.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > SENATOR LIEBERMAN
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > I believe that every chicken has the right to worship
> >
> >> > > > > his or her God in his or her own way. Crossing the
> >
> >> > > > > road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be
> >
> >> > > > > denied the right to cross the road in his or her own
> >
> >> > > > > way.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > SECRETARY CHENEY
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They
> >
> >> > > > > could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to
> >
> >> > > > > cross the road. They don't need help crossing the
> >
> >> > > > > road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the
> >
> >> > > > > road myself.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > RALPH NADER
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by
> >
> >> > > > > the evil tire makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but
> >
> >> > > > > our society pays tire makers to create the need for
> >
> >> > > > > these roads and then lures chickens into believing
> >
> >> > > > > there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the
> >
> >> > > > > roads, up with chickens.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > PAT BUCHANAN
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >>
> >
> >>
> >
> >> > > > > JERRY FALWELL
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
> >
> >> > > > > you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
> >
> >> > > > > The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
> >
> >> > > > > what "they" call it-the "other side." Yes, my
> >
> >> > > > > friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that
> >
> >> > > > > chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
> >
> >> > > > > all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
> >
> >> > > > > the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
> >
> >> > > > > phrases like "the other side." That chicken should
> >
> >> > > > > not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and
> >
> >> > > > > simple as that.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > DR. SEUSS
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > Did the chicken cross the road?
> >
> >> > > > > Did he cross it with a toad?
> >
> >> > > > > Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
> >
> >> > > > > but why it crossed, I've not been told!
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > ERNEST HEMINGWAY
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > To die. In the rain.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
> >
> >> > > > > cross without having their motives called into
> >
> >> > > > > question.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > GRANDPA
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
> >
> >> > > > > road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
> >
> >> > > > > road, and that was good enough for us.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > ARISTOTLE
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > KARL MARX
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > It was an historical inevitability.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > EHUD BARAK
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we will
> >
> >> > > > > be quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas
> >
> >> > > > > on it.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > RONALD REAGAN
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > What chicken?
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > FOX MULDER
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > >
> >
> >> > > > > You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How
> >
> >> > > > > many more chickens have to cross before you believe
> >
> >> > > > > it?
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > FREUD
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > The fact that you are at all concerned that the
> >
> >> > > > > chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
> >
> >> > > > > sexual insecurity.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > BILL GATES
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not
> >
> >> > > > > only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
> >
> >> > > > > important documents, and balance your checkbook -and
> >
> >> > > > > Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > EINSTEIN
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
> >
> >> > > > > move beneath the chicken?
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > BILL CLINTON
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do
> >
> >> > > > > you mean by "chicken"? Could you define "chicken"
> >
> >> > > > > please?
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > GEORGE BUSH
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > I don't think I should have to answer that question.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > LOUIS FARRAKHAN
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
> >
> >> > > > > chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample
> >
> >> > > > > him and keep him down.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > THE BIBLE
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
> >
> >> > > > > the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the
> >
> >> > > > > chicken crossed the road, and there was much
> >
> >> > > > > rejoicing.
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > COLONEL SANDERS
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > >
> >
> >> > > > > I missed one?
> >
> >> >>
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