-Caveat Lector-

Palm Beach County's
New Voter IQ Test

THE PALM BEACH COUNTY Board of Elections has devised the following test to
determine which people will be certified to re-cast their votes in the
presidential election. The test is designed to identify actual Democrats too
dumb to follow an arrow from a name to a circle. Applicants will be given
three hours to complete the test.

1)You are overcharged for an item you bought in the supermarket. You should

a) ask the supermarket to refund your money
b) tell the supermarket to keep the money
c) ask the supermarket to give your money to someone else
d) I do not understand the question

2. You are served a cup of hot coffee at a fast food restaurant. You should

a) take a tiny sip to see how hot it is and then wait for it to cool before
you drink it
b) take a big slug of it to see how hot it is
c) take it out to the car, place it on the seat between your legs, and tell
the driver to hurry up because you're late for work
d) I do not understand the question

3. You are brutally attacked by a knife-wielding maniac. You are carrying a
gun. You should

a) shoot him
b) call 911
c) tell him you understand that he's upset and offer to go with him to
counseling
d) I do not understand the question

4. While walking on the street with you, your grandmother is assaulted by a
knife-wielding maniac. You are carrying a gun. You should

a) shoot the madman
b) tell Grandma not to resist
c) offer to take Grandma's place
d) I do not understand the question

5. The population of the nation's jails has grown dramatically. The most
logical consequence of this increase is

a) the crime rate will go down
b) the crime rate will go up
c) there will be no change in the crime rate because there is no connection
between increased incarceration and lower crime rate
d) I do not understand the question

6. Candidate A has won the popular vote but has lost the electoral vote to
Candidate B. The best way to solve the dilemma is

a) declare Candidate B the winner because the Constitution requires it
b) change the Constitution
c) declare Candidate A the winner because you voted for him
d) I do not understand the question

7. If there is a tax surplus it should be

a) returned to the people who overpaid
b) retained by the government
c) given to anyone who receives an earned income tax credit
d) I do not understand the question and I don't see what this has to do with
question #1.

8.Your neighbor's great-great-great-great grandfather once stole a horse but
was never punished. Your neighbor, however, knows the
great-great-great-great grandson of the horse's owner. Your neighbor should

a) swap great-great-great-great grandpa stories with the horses' owner's
great-great-great-great grandson
b) make good on the horse
c) require you to make good on the horse
d) huh?

9. Same neighbor, same horse, same situation as question 3. You should

a) be polite when your neighbor tells the story for the thousandth time
b) offer to pay for the horse
c) vote for the candidate who will require everybody in the country to pay
for the horse
d) I still don't get it

10.Your slow pitch team loses the championship by one run. You should

a) congratulate the winning team
b) lodge a protest with the league chairman
c) demand to re-play the game
d) what does this have to do with the election?

Scoring:

Each "a" answer is worth one point. Each "b" answer is worth 2 points.
Each "c" answer is worth 3 points. Any "d" answer is worth 50 points.

1-10 points - you are a Republican

11-20 points - you are a Democrat

21-30 points - you are a Democrat and you are dumb, but we believe you can
connect the dots

Over 30 points - you were confused by the ballot and will be allowed to vote
again.

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Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector.
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