-Caveat Lector-

EXPOSED:  The conspiracy to feed swill to the masses?
  If nothing else, a little comic relief...

Warning: This may not be so amusing to those who actually eat at McDonalds

(Forgive me, I couldn't resist.)  ~ M
===================================
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A7669-2000Nov30?language=printer

Chicken McNoggin, Hold the Fries

By Frank Ahrens
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday , December 1, 2000 ; Page C01

It starts when an office worker says, "Hey, did you hear about the Chicken Head?"

No, you say. C'mon, you gotta see this, he says. At least he doesn't want to
talk about the recount--again.

He clicks his mouse. A female news anchor appears on the screen:

"A family from Newport News got more than they bargained for when they bought
chicken wings from McDonald's last night."

Behind her, an icon appears. It is a picture of a chicken head. Underneath the
picture is the caption: CHICKEN HEAD. It looks like a parody
of the evening news. Easily, George W. Bush's or Al Gore's picture could have
been behind that newscaster.

"Take a look at this," the anchor says.

Then, you see a close-up of a hand poking around in a box of fried chicken. The
hand grabs something and slowly pulls it out: It's a fried
Chicken Head! Aeeeeii! It's disgusting: Everyone around your buddy's computer
gapes in amazement. Then they start guffawing.

Because it's an entire chicken head: comically parted beak, eyeballs, even a
little red comb peeking through the batter.

This nation is currently trying to extricate itself from a political tar pit; it
wallows around like a bellowing mastodon. What we need more
than anything right now is one good sustained belly laugh.

Thank you, Chicken Head. Please scurry to every cubicle across this chad-weary nation.

The story: On Tuesday afternoon, a Newport News woman named Katherine Ortega
took her 5-year-old son to a McDonald's, where they
bought a box of fried chicken wings (a special promotion). As she passed them
around her dinner table, she realized that one of the wings
wasn't a wing!

She called WVEC-TV, Channel 13 in Newport News. They thought it was a hoax until
they dispatched a cameraman to Ortega's home.

"Our cameraman called in and said, 'The batter on the chicken head is the exact
match of all the rest of the pieces of chicken,' " reports
WVEC news director Jim Tellus.

Now, the facts of this story could have been blandly reported: That Ortega and
the McDonald's franchise owner met yesterday to discuss the
situation (translation: "How much do you want?"); that the owner issued a sober
statement promising a "thorough investigation" and that
Ortega didn't return a call seeking comment; that the U.S. Department of
Agriculture is investigating.

But that would have been wrong. Because the beauty of the Chicken Head story is
it's a burst of pure and happy absurdity in a time of tedious, orchestrated
absurdity.

Thank you, Chicken Head. For an exhausted nation, your timing could not have
been batter, er, better.

Click on www.pilotonline.com/videoNEWS/nw1130hea.html. You must have RealPlayer.

� 2000 The Washington Post

Also see:  Chicken Head Frenzy Circles Globe;  December 1, 2000, 10:45 AM
<http://www.kgw.com/kgwnews/nationworld_story.html?StoryID=9988>

Watch Moving Video of the Chicken Head
<http://video.solidweb.com/smartram.php3?station=kgw&vw=L&rmfile=chickenhead.rm>

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