-Caveat Lector- Dateline D.C. - Sunday, December 10, 2000 Why Al Gore battled on: The promise of pardon WASHINGTON - To many of us, the meaning of the words, "From now on all will be sweetness and light," has changed from what it once meant. It has turned into a sarcastic rejoinder, or a funny line in some Madison Avenue publicity jingle. So, while some politicians believe that their immediate future is secure and rosy, those more cautious are saying, "We can't expect sweetness or light for the next four years." Bill Clinton would love the promise of sweetness and light, but would be relieved to settle for a pardon for all his criminal actions. The word is out in Washington that the desperate bids by Al Gore to steal the presidency are at the urging of our incumbent president. The immense costs of Gore's maneuvering and the scorn being heaped on America from abroad because of the delay in naming a new president could have been avoided. The legal actions would never have happened if the vice president had asked Gov. George W. Bush to give a blanket pardon to the president for any charges, criminal or civil, related to Bill or Hillary's abuses of power or federal election law violations. Compensation would have been offered to victims by a government always generous with taxpayers' money. Al Gore could have conceded; George Bush would be president- elect and Slick Willie would be home free! Then, of course, at his inauguration next month, Gov. Bush would have made a wonderful speech. It would have been about healing wounds, national unity and a new beginning. Our new president would have concluded by saying that his action would begin a "new era of sweetness and light." Don't worry. The real winner of this year's election is moving toward the White House with all deliberate speed. Hillary Rodham Clinton started her presidential campaign for 2004, no mistake, on the night of Nov. 7, when Rick Lazio conceded the Senate election in New York State to Hillary. Day by day as Bush and Gore struggled for the Florida vote, Hillary Clinton's not unpleasant visage (nipped, tucked, bleached and with plenty of makeup, of course) looked more and more like that of a cat that had eaten, n ot one, but three canaries! Watching the very self-satisfied senator-elect from New York leaving Senate Minority Leader Robert Byrd's office in the Capitol after one of the rites of passage new senators must undergo, was truly educational. Sen.-elect Clinton walked with aplomb, back straight, file folder in one hand, the other arm swinging. She had a new "defining" hairstyle, and wore her trademark dark suit with a dusty red shirt and a g old chain at her throat and the last few feathers from those luckless canaries hardly discernible at the corners of her mouth. In the next two years, we must expect many new legends amounting to a hagiography of a former New York junior senator, who vowed (like Hillary) to serve a full term in the U.S. Senate, but was overtaken by presidential as piration. Everything Robert Kennedy did - his civil rights excursions, his anti-corruption campaigns, his this and his that - now will be reframed as Hillary's precedents. Furthermore, like "Little Bobby," New York's newe st senator is not one to let a promise stand in the way. Hillary certainly shares the same traits as the Kennedys in her ability to cozy up to organized crime. Why ever would we say such a thing? Well, looking at critters that come out from under the rocks is important! The most recent example being Rep. Patrick Kennedy's massive outpouring of fellowship with Arthur Coia, the er stwhile leader of the Laborers' International Union of North America and a recently convicted felon. Lucky Art Coia enjoyed not only the friendship of New England's mob leaders, but also the Kennedy and Clinton clans. May be "friendship" is the wrong word; perhaps it's more accurately called "an alliance" between the White House mob, the Capitol Hill mob and the Rhode Island Mafia. While strange things occur in politics, any alliance between Hillary Clinton and Al Gore is improbable. First, as a future presidential contender, Hillary has become the beneficiary of the struggles in Florida between the governor of Texas and the vice president. The prospects of both men are damaged for the 2004 campaign. For Al Gore, it is the ultimate disaster, and it certainly justifies the first lady's dislike of him. In her eight years as first lady, Hillary fought almost daily with the vice president and his staff. It is said that throughout the Clinton presidency, the First Couple never once invited the Gores to a private dinner - n ot even to eat popcorn at presidential film showings. Throughout all this time with its excitements and scandals, Hillary made sure that the unfortunate Al would never make it, without her permission, with her "very own" constituencies. This meant that, touching his forelock politely, Al had to humbly ask before going to the minorities, women's groups and the labor unions of the AFL-CIO. Within the Democratic Party today, if Hillary challenged the less than popular VP for the presidential no mination, there would be no contest. Why worry, since Al Gore is a born loser. After running a disorganized campaign, he lost the presidency from the commanding position of a popular incumbent. He lost while the economy was a roaring success and a spurious p eace was promoted in those parts of the world that he remembered as "trouble spots." His "legacy" will be that of the first certified loser to challenge the certified results of a presidential election. Indeed, why worry about the future of a politician who lost his own home state and the Democratic strongholds of Arkansas and West Virginia. Al Gore, an alleged Southerner, lost the South. But, back to Hillary. She will run a four-year populist campaign, starting right away! The first legislation that she has mooted will be a call for the abolition of the Electoral College. Since the Senate is evenly split between timid Republicans and power-hungry Democrats, we must expect serious partisan successes for Hillary's causes. Having published yet another book on entertaining, Hillary Clinton promises - or threatens - to write her very own story about Monica Lewinsky. It is said that Hillary's "innermost feelings" will be revealed. Moreover, th e feminists who wanted her to stand firmly on her Lothario - and not beside him - will be satisfied. Already William Jefferson Clinton has been relegated to Hillary's long and growing roster of people to be ordered about. The suggestion that he might want to be mayor of New York City was dealt with promptly. "That's not going to happen," said Hillary. The latest is that Slick Willie may, just may, be invited to become chancellor of England's Oxford University where once upon a time he was a draft evader and Rhodes Scholar. That would suit Hillary very nicely - an ocean between them, with Bill wearing a funny hat and a fur-trimmed gown! The fact is that no one cares whether Bill goes to Blairland, India's "Bollywood" film capital or to a bank in Beijing. For the next few years, American s will focus, sadly, on the Senate suite occupied by the junior senator from New York. Though these last few days we haven't seen so many pictures of Bill Clinton on the TV screens, he remains president of the country; now he's doing as much harm as he can get away with, laying a minefield of regulations th at will have to be followed under penalty of law. Jimmy Carter popularized the concept of rule by regulation among Democrats. During his lame-duck months, Carter introduced some 23,000 pages of new regulations, many of which are still on the books and still being relucta ntly (or gleefully) followed. The Clintonistas claim that their abuse of power will exceed those of Carter by about 10,000 pages. So what, you'll say, the next Republican president will cancel them. Yet given the 50-50 composition of the Senate and the time involved, the hearings, written comments, oral objections and so forth, many will remain in f orce for years, perhaps forever. Already new Clinton rules will reduce the sulfur content in diesel fuel. In turn, this will increase the price of diesel fuel which, in turn, increases what we will pay for just about everything from food to furniture. Th e Arctic Natural Wildlife Refuge has been designated a national monument; and this will prevent oil exploration for all time, to the benefit - as usual - of hostile foreign powers. Just write all this off as more gifts to the hard-core environmentalists. There will be changes in welfare rules. Food stamp rules are being relaxed. Once someone goes on the welfare rolls, it will take a lot of trouble to remove them. It seems that if you are on welfare, you and your teen-ager s - provided that they go to school or work - can own a car or cars. As a sop to the AFL-CIO, if you are a worker who has pains and aches from a repetitive work process, you will now receive compensation; but you certainly won't be getting any breaks in companies accused of violating feder al labor, environmental or health laws. They will not be allowed to bid on any federal contract. Just look at the language. You do not have to be guilty; an accusation is enough to put you out of business. All this is hap pening in the home of the free and the brave. Still, perhaps all may yet be sweetness and light! An e-mail received from Houston, Texas (where the brave are still free) tells us that with the probability of George W. Bush going to the White House, the American entertainment industry will die. This e-mail states that many stars such as Barbra Streisand, Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Alec Baldwin and many, many others have vowed to leave the country rather than live under a Bush presidency. The e-mail continues by saying that drivers, trucks, packers and loaders are urgently needed to get the stars moving, and that for the price of a SUV, we, the people, can help a movie star, by buying them a one-way ticket to a new country of their choice. We are told that, in exchange, we will get postcards from the refugees once every three months, telling us how they are making out in a new and useful career in the Third World country of their choice. 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