-Caveat Lector-

----- Original Message -----
From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Scalia

SCALIA TO DONATE BRAIN TO MAD COW DISEASE RESEARCH
Researchers Express Extreme Gratitude for Selfless Gesture

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP)  - In a move that Democratic operatives dismiss as
simply more bizarre G.O.P. grandstanding in a desperate effort to sway public
opinion, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia on December 10 issued a
tersely worded press release revealing that he has decided to donate his
brain to the University of California San Francisco, for research on Mad Cow
Disease.

The Prion Biosafety Department at UCSF is in the forefront of research on
amyloid and other abnormal protein assembly processes.

Justice Scalia's announcement occurred after Mad Cow Disease researchers
from all over the world had swamped him with telephone calls, e-mails, and
singing telegrams, asking him to do this for the good of humanity.

Following Scalia's December 9 opinion finding not only that the G.O.P. would
suffer "irreparable harm" from having Florida voters' ballots counted in the
presidential election, but also that the G.O.P. would likely succeed in its
effort to stop such ballot-counting, there was widespread agreement among
researchers that Scalia has enough holes in his head to do stand-ins for
Swiss cheese in spaghetti westerns.

Some experts speculate that Scalia - and quite possibly four other U.S.
Supreme Court justices - consumed some tainted baloney at a secret G.O.P.
fundraiser.  Others just as ardently contend that Scalia does not suffer
from Mad Cow Disease at all - that he's simply been socializing too much with
Rush Limbaugh.

Researchers at UCSF expressed sincere appreciation to Justice Scalia for his
selfless gesture. They assured him that, after they finish the appropriate
research on his brain, they will press it into hamburger patties and give it
a decent burial at sea, near the Farallon Islands, a resting place they
assured him would be appropriate for a person of his stature.

The Farallons are a group of seven sparsely vegetated granite outcroppings
located offshore of the Golden Gate channel.  The waters around the
Farallons are well known among marine biologists for their prevalence of
radioactive
mutant giant sponges and great whites.  Scalia, who, thank God, is not from
the West Coast, of course didn't get it.  He never will.

� LibertyIsNotFree 12/10/2000

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