-Caveat Lector-
A Look At... The Year's Weirdest News
Sunday, December 24, 2000 ; Page B03
On the Homefront
LESSER OF EVILS IN THE HEARTLAND: Eight farmers in the town of Nemaha,
owa, (pop.112) have taught themselves to perform various square-dancing
routines while seated on vintage Farmall tractors, maneuvering the
vehicles to do-si-do and promenade. In keeping with tradition,
which requires four "couples" to complete the "square," four of the male
dancers operate their tractors dressed in female garb � gingham dresses,
wigs and white gloves � designed by their wives and girlfriends. �
Successful Farming, May 1; San Francisco Chronicle, June 26
ENCOURAGING NEWS FROM THE ACADEMY: The University of Surrey in Britain
beefed up the curriculum at its school of management studies by
appointing the world's first professor of airline food and adding
graduate-level courses in the study of in-flight catering. The
professorship is being established through a #500,000 grant from the
International Flight Catering Association. David Arey, head of the
management school, said: "There is certainly enough potential in it to
do a doctorate of philosophy." � The Guardian, Oct. 3
REAL MEN EAT CHEESE: A dispatch from Nuoro, Sardinia, described the
locals' love for casumarzu ("rotten cheese"): brown lumps made from
sheep's milk crawling with wriggling maggots (the larvae of flies),
whose enzymes cause the original pecorino cheese to decompose into a
"viscous, pungent goo that burns the tongue." Though the delicacy is
banned by the government, the black market has pushed the price to more
than $7 a pound, double that for worm-free pecorino. Local gourmands
disdainfully dismiss any portions that are so stale that the maggots in
them have died. � Wall Street Journal, Aug. 23
FAMILY VALUES 101: Brigham Young University students organized a Fight
Club, inspired by the Brad Pitt movie. Until the club disbanded under
pressure from unhappy university officials, the matches drew as many as
300 cheering spectators to a Provo, Utah, warehouse. Unlike the
bare-knuckled fights in the film, the BYU matches featured boxers who
wore gloves and pounded each other for three 45-second rounds. The
brawls were held late enough in the evening so as not to violate the
Mormon "family home evening" concept. (Fighting is not against the BYU
Honor Code, but watching the R-rated "Fight Club" movie is.) � Deseret
News, April 12; Salt Lake Tribune, April 19 and April 26
THE FUTURE OF WARFARE, ONE HOPES: The Philippine national mania for
wireless text messaging now has a military application: Muslim
guerrillas at war with government troops in the southern islands are
firing off electronic insults to army cell phones. How do the guerrillas
know the numbers? From the memory files of cell phones captured from
Filipino soldiers, who brought them to the front so they could stay in
touch with their families. � New York Times, July 5
Left Out of the Olympics
THE FOOD NETWORK WANTS THE RIGHTS: College student Laura McCoy became a
hot food-company prospect by leading her Mississippi State University
team to dairy-sniffing victory in the annual Milk Bowl. She won the "ice
cream" category (by coming closest to the opinion of professional judges
on smell, taste and texture), took seconds in "cheddar" and "yogurt,"
placed third in "cottage cheese" and "milk," and fifth in "butter." �
Wall Street Journal, Feb. 8
WHY THERE'S DRUG TESTING: Japan's Kazutoyo "The Rabbit" Arai (who weighs
101 pounds) beat defending champ Steve Keiner (400 pounds) in the annual
Nathan's international hot dog-eating championship at New York's Coney
Island on July 4, gobbling down 25 dogs � and buns � in 12 minutes, to
Keiner's 16. � New York Post, July 5
TERMINEX IS NOT A SPONSOR: The annual Chinese national cricket-fight
tournament, an insect contest once favored by emperors but now dominated
by hard-core gamblers, was held in Beijing after another stellar
recruiting season in Shandong province. Cricket farmers in that region
of eastern China search their fields for the insects with the physique
and character to endure the tough matches inside eight-inch-wide plastic
containers. � New York Times, Oct. 4
ROGER CLEMENS'S NEXT CAREER: In the finals of the Kemijarvi
international snowball championship in Finland, Japan's ultra-serious
Seibotu Raiders easily beat a more-relaxed European team. Under the
rules, the teams start with seven players per side and 270 snowballs
each on a field about the size of a tennis court, with some barriers for
cover; a direct hit eliminates a player. The first team to seize the
opponent's flag wins. � National Post (Toronto), April 11
It's Just Criminal
WORST SHORT-TERM MEMORY: Mark Vincent Hinckley, 37, a member of a
federal grand jury that had handed up secret indictments in a narcotics
case, was arrested the following day after he visited an accused drug
dealer and allegedly attempted to sell him information about the
indictments for $50,000. Hinckley, who was charged with soliciting a
bribe, had apparently forgotten a key part of the testimony he had just
heard: that the government had wiretapped the dealer's office.
According to prosecutors, Hinckley's proposition was recorded in full. �
Denver Rocky Mountain News, Aug. 2
MOST HAPLESS: T'Chacka Mshinda Thorpe, 25, was arrested in Lynchburg,
Va., and charged with possession of cocaine after a brief chase, which
ended abruptly when Thorpe tripped on the edge of his stylishly
low-hanging baggy pants, fell and broke his leg. � Richmond
Times-Dispatch, May 14
THE CLASSIC MIDDLE NAME (VOL 5. OF OUR ANNUAL UPDATE): Charged with
murder in 2000: Louis Wayne Watters Jr. (Texas), Steven Wayne Bowman
(South Carolina), Aryan Wayne Duntley (California), Robert Wayne
Rotramel (Oklahoma), Bryan Wayne Padd (Arizona), Jeffrey
Wayne Leaf (Oklahoma), Michael Wayne Henry (Texas).
Committed suicide in custody after being indicted for murder: Kenny
Wayne Lockwood (Texas).Sentenced to die for murder: Robert Wayne Harris
(Texas).Sentenced to 50 years for murder: Christopher Wayne Gregory
(Texas).Appeal of murder conviction denied: Randall Wayne Stevens
(Illinois).Embroiled in marital estate fight: murderer Scott Wayne
Blystone (contesting from death row at the State Correctional
Institution in Waynesburg, Pa.). � (Watters) Corpus Christi
Caller-Times, June 16; (Bow- man) Augusta Chronicle, Oct. 31; (Duntley)
San Diego Union-Tribune, Sept. 2; (Rotramel) Daily Oklahoman, Aug. 22;
(Padd) Associated Press, Nov. 16; (Leaf) Daily Oklahoman, Nov. 1;
(Henry) Associated Press, Oct. 20; (Lockwood) San Antonio Express-News,
Oct. 16; (Harris) Dallas Morning News, Sept. 30; (Gregory) Associated
Press, July 26; (Stevens) Chicago Daily Law Bulletin, Aug. 8; (Blystone)
Associated Press, Oct. 15 The Highest Levels Of Professionalism
HIS MIND IS WORKING OVERTIME: Disabled police officer Charles Peck, 55,
asked the Springfield, Mass., city council for higher benefits in
connection with the 1982 squad car crash that ended his career. Peck's
injuries were so severe that he was declared dead at the scene, only to
be resuscitated at the hospital. In his latest petition, the officer
requested benefits equal to his full salary � an amount usually
available only to surviving spouses of deceased officers. Peck asserted
that, since he had been legally dead, he has actually survived himself
and thus deserved full benefits. The city council approved the bill, but
Springfield Mayor Michael J. Albano refused to sign the legislation. �
Associated Press, Feb. 11
NOT EXACTLY LEGAL EAGLES I: Robert Jones's legal theory in his product
liability lawsuit against the makers of Liquid Fire drain cleaner (which
burned his legs badly in a spill) was not that the container was unsafe
� but rather that the container looked unsafe. Thus, Jones decided to
transfer the Liquid Fire into his own container, which rapidly
disintegrated. � Atlanta Journal-Constitution, June 15
LAWS OF IRONY ARE STRICTLY ENFORCED: Just after publication of his book
"Disciplined Minds" in May, Jeff Schmidt was fired after 19 years as a
staff writer for Physics Today magazine. In his book, Schmidt argued
that a hierarchical organization's structure almost guarantees that its
workers cannot devote their full energy to the job; he was terminated
after a supervisor learned that in his forward to the book, he playfully
wrote that he had completed it partly on "stolen time" � that is, during
office hours. His employers said his dismissal was not related to what
he wrote in the book. � Chronicle of Higher Education, June 2
GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR TRYING: Dutch researchers, based on a cost-benefit
analysis, advocated in a British journal that health officials in the
Netherlands should consider dispensing Viagra for free to sufferers of
erectile dysfunction. According to the researchers' Quality-Adjusted
Life Year measure, Viagra was more cost-effective than other
"interventions" that the Dutch health service now funds, including
kidney transplants and breast cancer screening. � British Medical
Journal, April 29
NOT EXACTLY LEGAL EAGLES II: Florida lawyer Philip G. Butler, who had
defended himself (unsuccessfully) at his bribery trial, argued to the
state's 4th District Court of Appeals that his conviction should be
overturned because, as a client, he had been inadequately informed by
his lawyer that representing himself at trial was foolish. (He lost the
appeal, also.) � Miami Daily Business Review, Sept. 7
Gov'mint at Work
DEMAND-SIDE REGULATION: A bill introduced by a Vermont lawmaker sought
to penalize any adult who chooses not to own a gun, requiring the
scofflaw to register with the state and pay a $500 fine for the
privilege of being unarmed. Also, a bill introduced in the Mississippi
legislature sought to curb public nudity at strip clubs by making it
illegal for male dancers to have erections while performing. Neither
bill passed. � Boston Globe, Feb. 1; Associated Press, Jan. 27, July 13
THE END OF POLITICS: In March, British Columbia Supreme Court Judge Glen
Parrett overturned Mike Frazier's victory in the race for mayor of the
small village of McBride. In a 28-page decision, the judge ruled that
Frazier was not entitled to the office because he had made knowingly
false statements about his opponent's position on a tax issue. � Globe
and Mail, March 9
Art and Artifice
HOW TO TELL IF YOU HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY: Art patrons bought up Christie's
entire collection of 60 paintings created by artists that also happen to
be elephants, including works by Sao (a former log hauler in Thailand's
timber industry), whose style was likened by Yale art historian Mia
Fineman to the work of Paul Gauguin for its "broad, gentle, curvy brush
strokes" and "a depth and maturity that remains unrivaled in the
elephant art world." Fineman says there are three distinct
regional styles of Thai elephant art: northern ("lyrical and
expressive"), central ("dark, cooler" colors in "broad, vigorous
strokes") and southern ("saturated tertiary colors"). � Boston Globe,
March 19
I DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE: City officials in Oswiecim, Poland, (a k a
Auschwitz) gave a group of investors permission to open a disco on the
spot of a World War II-era tannery that "employed" nearby concentration
camp workers and stored the hair of gas chamber victims. And Lithuanian
entrepreneur Viliumas Malianauskas announced his intention to open
"Stalin's World." The tourist attraction near Gruta, Lithuania, will
tell the story of the 200,000 people sent to Siberian labor camps during
the Soviet dictator's reign. (Under the developer's plan, visitors will
enter the theme park in cattle cars and eat oat gruel and fish broth,
just as the prisoners did.) � Associated Press, Aug. 17; Wall Street
Journal, July 24, and the Scotsman (Edinburgh), July 25
WHAT CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS? Astrologer Jacqueline Stallone (mother of
actor Sly) said in a pre-Election Day interview that her dogs � a pair
of miniature pinschers � had told her telepathically that George W. Bush
would win the presidency by 200 votes. � Atlanta Journal-Constitution,
Nov. 7 Chuck Shepherd's weekly feature, "News of the Weird," appears in
the Washington City Paper and elsewhere around the country.
� 2000 The Washington Post
<A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/">www.ctrl.org</A>
DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER
==========
CTRL is a discussion & informational exchange list. Proselytizing propagandic
screeds are unwelcomed. Substance�not soap-boxing�please! These are
sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory'�with its many half-truths, mis-
directions and outright frauds�is used politically by different groups with
major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought.
That being said, CTRLgives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and
always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no
credence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply.
Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector.
========================================================================
Archives Available at:
http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/archives/ctrl.html
<A HREF="http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/archives/ctrl.html">Archives of
[EMAIL PROTECTED]</A>
http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/
<A HREF="http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/">ctrl</A>
========================================================================
To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email:
SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email:
SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Om
