-Caveat Lector-

The Democratic Party: A Political Cuspidor
Norman Liebmann
Feb. 2, 2001

The departure of Bill Clinton from the White House brings to
mind a line the late Morey Amsterdam used in night club
appearances, "Ladies and gentlemen, the men's room attendant
just quit. He couldn't stand the smell of the kitchen."
It is confirmed - since Clinton has installed his
fetch-and-carry, Terry McAuliffe, as Chairman of the DNC,
the Democrat Party is now officially America's political
cuspidor.

Conceivably, Ronald Reagan undercounted the Democrats when
he determined there was only one evil empire. Irrespective
of their chameleon-like transfigurations, myriad disguises
or forms of political rancidity into which they curdle,
Democrats are always unmistakably Democrats. Ten minutes in
a stuck elevator with a Democrat and your sinuses will die.
The damage they are inflicting on America is by no means
subtle. Democrats, Governor Gray Davis, and yenta Senators
Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein, have turned their state
into an overcrowded, dysfunctional, socialist swamp. As a
result, California is facing the worst energy crisis since
Strom Thurmond's wedding night.

[Note: Boxer and Feinstein's occupancy of high office is no
longer an inconvenience or even an embarrassment to other
Jews. It is a calamity. Considering their support of Bill
Clinton, their oppression of personal rights and
constitutional guarantees of freedom, this claque consisting
of Boxer, Feinstein, Charles Schumer, Henry Waxman, Joseph
Lieberman, and Barney Frank, constitutes a new kosher
fascism - a sort of Jew Klux Klan.]

Consider the recent adolescent manifestation with which the
Clinton staff desecrated the White House. From Day One of
the Clinton Administration they have behaved like a family
of baboons that just found out they won the lottery. Their
spreading of excrement, scrawling the walls with obscene
graffiti, and reckless vandalism should surprise no one.
Some of them tried to urinate on the carpet, but with their
customary incompetence, a few missed the floor completely.
Democrats are in love with degeneracy and disorder, and
revel in their cohabitation with political knavery. This was
less an administration than it was a Mardi Gras of Perverts.

Still, Clinton pledges he will stand with the Democrats
until the last dog dies - after which he will eat the last
dog, and like a glutted hyena, crawl away to digest his
carrion and wait for the next wounded wildebeest to limp
across his path. Unhappily, it appears we can look forward
to four more years of this, as the Bush Administration has
ordered no prosecutions for this willful destruction in the
White House. Bush reacted like a cop who deals with a riot
by watching and taking notes. (The last President this
lenient - make that "compassionate" - was President
Hindenburg, who, in 1933, made the takeover of Germany a
snap for Hitler.) If history instructs us, refusing to hold
miscreants accountable only allows society's sores to
fester.

The imperfections that torment the average person's
conscience is a tempest in a teacup when measured against
Clinton's - which is a tempest in a toilet. Admittedly,
nobody is perfect (especially in Arkansas where, as Charles
Darwin proposed, nobody is human.) Scripture holds, we have
all done those things which we ought not to have done, and
left undone those things we ought to have done. That ought
to let all garden variety sinners off the hook. If the
meteorological reports are accurate, God has already started
to descend fires and floods to purify this land which the
permeation of the Clintons has so fouled.

The Clinton degeneracy is sufficiently pervasive to slop
over the top and flood out JFK's Eternal Flame. Allowed to
remain in office after all his high crimes and misdemeanors,
Bill Clinton is now the gauge by which all Republicans in
the Senate can measure the depth and squalor of their
cowardice. Ten seconds after Janet Reno got into her little
red wagon and headed back to Miami, Trent Lott declared "the
Department of Justice is a cesspool." Of course, he waited
for all the "cess" to run out of the "pool" before he had
the guts to say it. Reputations cannot hammock lower than
his.

With that uncanny intuition that children evince, early on
Bubba's schoolyard playmates foresaw his future and tagged
him with the nickname "treason-breath." He quickly developed
an insidious inspiration not previously seen for downgrading
transgressions to infractions. In his case, rape has become
a foible, and he now seeks our consolation based on the
premise that even degenerates need love. Clinton's approval
ratings remain high, which brings to mind the words of H.L.
Mencken, "No one ever went broke underestimating the
intelligence of the American public."

Bill Clinton is the role model of Washington's criminal
class because of his extraordinary ability to bribe and
manipulate, without conscience, "the recipient class." -
which is the deft politico's label to avoid alienating the
ignorant and the indolent. Minorities reject the idea that
Clinton was America's worst enemy, because they had a
proprietary interest in his criminality. Seemingly, Clinton
and the clods were put on this earth for the purpose of
finishing each other off in the nearest sink.

AL GORE - PERISTALSIS INTERRUPTUS

One senses deus ex machina in history's cramped but
nevertheless highly relieving evacuation of Al Gore from the
American bowel. One more Democrat Administration and your
kid will be coming home from grade school converted to
homosexuality, with full blown AIDS, and who could only
describe his symptoms to a doctor in Swahili.

There are two unwholesome purposes that guide the government
and the media: they are united in a determination to see
accountability die in purgatorial agony, and - honorable
citizens who, having these eight years been transgressed
against, be denied redress. The media, in particular,
reinforce this determination. As is known, they consider
themselves an elite, and like prostitutes (who also consider
themselves an elite) treat their patrons with condescension
knowing they can only get satisfaction by not giving it.

Too many in Washington, having failed in duty and honor to
call for a proper penalty for Bill Clinton, offer this most
absurd of rationalizations - cries of "Shame!" is the worst
requital Bill Clinton could endure. You can no more
discompose Clinton by crying "Shame!" than you can embarrass
a pig by telling it its zipper is open. Two other punitive
alternatives seem more apt for him - serving a life sentence
in San Quentin - or his just uttering the word "Rosebud" and
dropping dead.

ROBERT RAY MEETS BILL CLINTON: MUNICH ON THE POTOMAC

Coming from Arkansas, the Sutter's Mill of political
turpitude, Bill Clinton expected that in the District of
Columbia he would find a wellspring of accomplices, allies,
confederates, accessories, aides and abettors, fellow
conspirators, partners in depravity, towel boys who assist
at molestations, and Robert Ray. He was right. At the
eleventh hour Robert Ray showed up to administer an eleventh
hour Dickensian mockery of the law. Dispatching Ray to work
a confession from Clinton is like sending a cocker spaniel
to do the work of a junkyard dog, or like sending Ray
Charles to skunk Pete Sampras at Wimbledon. Giving it his
best, Ray was able to snatch disgrace from the jaws of
humiliation. Nevertheless, predictably, Ray has been all
over television describing the view from inside the tank,
and rationalizing his failure by hard-selling the notion
that there are good reasons to do bad things. That kind of
crap would not fly with Judge Judy.

With that nasty playfulness that history so relishes in
repeating itself, it's said the first meeting opened with
Ray showing Clinton his thong bikini. The rest of the
proceedings went along lines no less coincidental. (That
thong bikini, eventually is expected to rest, side by side,
with Monica's in a display case in the Clinton Library, to
be installed there by decontamination squads togged out in
moon suits.)

Robert Ray and Bill Clinton refining esoteric points of law
suggest a process approximate to manicuring turds. After an
entire year groveling before his prey, Ray was unable to
dislodge a single unequivocal expression of regret, and
settled for a watery allusion to accidental, inadvertent,
forensic, semi-partial, unintentional, mischievous, vaguely
inferred denial. Nothing as insincerely self-exonerating has
been heard since Hitler said "Oops." The Styrofoam
concessions Ray elicited serve Clinton better than his usual
categorical denials. "I may, or I may not have had sex with
that woman, Mrs. Lewinsky." Of course, America doubts
Bubba's capacity for carnal self-restraint, knowing he comes
from a state where sexual gratification is never more than
your sister's room away. This considered, Ray conceded
Clinton's sexual indiscretion with Monica Lewinsky was
inadvertent. Hence the charge of felony was reduced to the
extemporized and unprecedented misdemeanor, "leaving the
scene of an accident in a motorcade."

Worse than exonerating Clinton's eight years of crimes, the
deal cut by Ray trivialized them. One can imagine no greater
disservice to history, humanity and posterity. Clinton can
now "move on" to pursue a new career as a comparison shopper
in a red light district, while Ray remains in a state of
exultation, having achieved the ultimate ambition of many
Democrat lawyers - obfuscation of facts, and the tunneling
of a legal (of sorts) escape hatch for a criminal President.

T.S. Eliot wrote, "That's the way the world ends - not with
a bang, but with a whimper." The Clinton/Ray negotiation
ended not with a whimper but with an eructation that tested
the tensile strength of the Constitution and the Oval
Office's acoustical tile. The most vulgar abuse of the
American system of justice ended with calling out the local
Fire Department to rescue this legal squirrel Clinton treed.
Tom Sawyer talked other kids into the tedious chore of
whitewashing a fence for him. Young Tom could have conned
Ray into taking an enema for him.

Together, Clinton and Ray wrote a document that is the
obituary for accountability - the true Clinton legacy. With
this final, cheesy vindication of the crimes and depravities
of America's 42nd President, Comedy Relief Counsel Robert
Ray became another Clinton zombie, an attorney for the
living dead. He is now another subfunctionary in this final
episode of what Shakespeare anathematized as "the law's
delay" and "the insolence of office." Ray's inquiry
abandoned the scrutiny of Clinton's emails, and, presumably,
an examination of the newly turned earth in the White House
basement. Ray's investigation revealed only the incompetence
of the marksman and the cunning of his target.

If the Marquis De Sade instructs us, abuse often requires
the services of a volunteer victim. In this case it required
only the knuckling under of a stooge. Robert Ray is now a
footnote in the unhygienic and slovenly history of the
Clinton Administration as listed in The Encyclopedia
Satanica. Neville Chamberlain returned from Munich with
nobler terms than Ray exacted from Clinton. One is confident
Ray would have accepted as a paradigm of fairness an
unsigned interoffice memo by Dr. Mengele canceling his own
guilt in consideration of it being "in the best interests"
of the German nation to put fifty million torture/deaths
behind him. Under Ray's negotiated articles of surrender,
the vanquished Nazis would not have had to hide out in
Argentina, but could have gone skinny-dipping on the
Riviera.

Ray demonstrated so little resolve in this matter it is
suspected, on his way to the White House, Trent Lott bit him
on the neck. There is a question of whether Ray was ever
sufficiently poised to do the job. It's reported on entering
the White House grounds he accidentally dropped his
briefcase spilling loopholes all over the Rose Garden. It
was a basic mistake to send this malleable procurator to
corner Clinton. If he had been assigned to defend him
instead, likely Clinton would be doing "life" in
Leavenworth.

This was a fun house mirror image of a legal proceeding.
Indeed, there remains a question about the document's
legality in that instead of affixing his signature to it,
Clinton signed it "Who? Me?" When a legal assistant pointed
out that it was not Clinton's signature, Ray said, "It's
close enough." In any event, Clinton was allowed to "skate",
America picked its own pocket, raped itself, and the
Constitution got a juridical hernia. Additionally, the
failure to permanently rescind Bubba's license to practice
law is yet another loose movement from the bowels of
Arkansas justice.

The proceedings might have as aptly ended with the same
ironic toast offered by Sam Spade in The Maltese Falcon,
"Success - to crime", as Ray and Clinton raised their
glasses after Bubba signed his latest Houdini-esque
"confession" of non-guilt. But for this pliant,
accommodating little pettifogger, Americans will never know
how close the rule of law came to including the Clinton
White House. At all events, it is over, leaving a puddle of
fine print, with nothing left to be done but to have this
legal footstool hand-deliver pardons to Clinton's assigned
"bribees" and designated bimbos - along with a complimentary
pizza.

Bubba left office in an uncontrolled convulsion of vomiting
up pardons, which will be chronicled in the history books as
Clinton's Last Puke. This final iniquitous regurgitation
brought forth in its larger semi-digested upchucked lumps -
Susan MacDougal and Roger Clinton. Webster Hubbell's pardon
did not manifest when Clinton managed to get his finger only
half way down to his esophagus. Likely, Hubbell will not
have the physical accoutrements to do anything about it.

Respectful of Mr. Ray's mitigating, Bill Clinton is, was,
and will always be a criminal. The Democrats consisting of
The Blackmail is Beautiful Civil Rights leaders, The Guess
My Sex Movement, The Seeing Violence is Good for Children
Hollywood crowd, The Treason for Lunch Bunch, The Jews to
Sell Out Israel Cabal, The Anti-Christ of the Month Club,
and The Moronic Rappers, are by virtue of their support,
accomplices. William Jefferson Blythe Clinton got away with
everything and they think that's just nifty. And so, the
Democrat love affair with decadence continues. Hopefully,
America will survive Clinton's crimes and their complicity.
Clinton found the easiest thing to get in America is
absolution as long as you agree to take along money with it.
The only one who seems to have learned a lesson from this
squalid episode is Monica Lewinsky, who now knows you can't
have your Presidents and eat them, too.

The legal subterfuges by which Clinton escaped prison these
past eight years confirms the notion that the term Criminal
Law is not a profession - but a redundancy. Bill Clinton
believes he could have legally maneuvered to become
President for Life. Ten minutes more in a room with Robert
Ray and he would have had it.

Norman Liebmann is a former television writer [Johnny
Carson, Dean Martin; wrote and produced "Chico and the Man"
and created the characters for "The Munsters" (who are all
named after his relatives)] and a brilliant and insightful
columnist/humorist. Please visit his Web site Firehat, a
treasure trove of Clinton- and media-bashing.


Honest John vs. Scheming Jesse
Brent Bozell
Jan. 24, 2001

For a quick lesson in the upside-down morality of the
national media, consider the January cases of John Ashcroft
and Jesse Jackson, two political leaders identified with
their religious faith. But Ashcroft's faith has been
presented repeatedly as an obstacle to high office, while
Jackson's low sexual behavior has been reported with deep
sympathy and pleas for him to remain in "public ministry."
Ashcroft's faith is being projected as a scary one, a
demonstrative Pentecostal religion that requires rules that
enlightened media liberals can't fathom. "Ashcroft is the
son of a fundamentalist minister who doesn't drink or
dance," reported NBC's Lisa Myers. Accurate? Sure. But where
is the news worthiness, other than to define Ashcroft's
faith as controversial or outside the mainstream?

One wonders how Ashcroft would have been presented were he
Jewish. Would Myers find it newsworthy that he eschewed
eating ham and abided by strict rules observing the Sabbath?
Most would ignore that. A few might report it correctly --
as a sign of his devotion.

The problem with Ashcroft was not his faith. It was his
Christian faith and his devotion to it.

Tony Mauro, a longtime Supreme Court reporter for USA Today,
wrote an op-ed for that newspaper actually insisting that
Ashcroft's Christianity should be disqualifying. Ashcroft
has proclaimed that America has "no king but Jesus," and
Mauro warned that vision "counts out millions of Americans
of other faiths or no faith ... If Ashcroft's view leads him
to think that ours is a Christian nation, or that only
Christians have the right answers to the nation's problems,
then indeed his vision is too narrow to take the job of
attorney general." A master of sophistry, Mauro asked the
Senate to prod into Ashcroft's religious beliefs before
allowing his appointment. If Ashcroft were Jewish or Muslim
or Buddhist, Mauro would look like a bigot for making that
suggestion. That's what he is.

Then the National Enquirer revealed that Jesse Jackson has a
20-month-old daughter with Karin Stanford, the former head
of the Rainbow Coalition's Washington office. Once Jackson
had a DNA test done on the girl, New York Post noted he
quickly had a financial arrangement and a confidentiality
agreement drawn up. The Rainbow Coalition suddenly found at
least $35,000 in "moving expenses" to send Stanford to Los
Angeles, where she now lives in a $365,000 home once owned
by TV star D.L. Hughley.

Almost no one in the press found this problematic, one who
disqualifies from the highest mountains of liberal
leadership. Reporters couldn't find time or space for
condemning his behavior or questioning his behind-the-scenes
financial scheming. The only question worth asking was:
"When will the liberals get back their hero?"

When The Washington Post put the story on the front page,
reporters Peter Slevin and William Claiborne weren't
interested in hypocrisy or hush money, but only in
reassuring liberals. Jackson's admission "adds a new chapter
of controversy to the history that has made Jackson a
polarizing figure in American politics, an array of
politicians and commentators said yesterday. But they said
the news is unlikely to do long-term damage to his influence
as one of the Democratic Party's leading figures." Saving
Jesse's stature, not exposing his scheming ways, was the
most newsworthy story at the Post.

The sympathy dripped from the airwaves at the networks
Thursday morning, with reports stuffed with snippets from
Jackson's prepared statement. NBC's Ann Curry somberly
relayed that "the Reverend Jesse Jackson is taking some time
off from his public ministry after admitting this morning
that he fathered a child outside of marriage." After
reporter Anne Thompson read from Jackson's statement, Curry
sympathetically concluded: "A tough time for his family."
Perhaps it was too early for NBC to know that the family had
known about this little secret for two years. At ABC, Diane
Sawyer advised the audience: "This is, of course, a
political story, but also a family story, and everybody has
to be very concerned for the Jackson family."

But where was "everybody" and where was all that "concern"
when the hypocrites were conservative Christians? In 1987
and 1988, when televangelists Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker
were revealed as adulterers, there were no media
sympathizers. These men became part of a repetitive tape
loop about the falsity and hypocrisy of the religious right.
In 1989, Sawyer insisted: "You have to wonder whether this
season of revealed hypocrisy is taking any toll or not on
the (TV evangelism) business ... will the buyers beware?"

The buyers of Jesse Jackson's empire were not asked to
beware of Jackson, but rather beware how Jackson's enemies
would seek to profit from "tragedy." As we learned from
Monicagate, the national media have no problem with
infidelity, dishonesty, or moral or financial corruption.
The only disqualifying sin in politics is conservatism. And
conservative Christianity is strictly verboten.



Tuesday, Feb. 6, 2001 1:14 p.m. EST

Clinton Said to Be 'Seriously Depressed'

Ex-President Clinton is said to be "seriously depressed" by
recent developments, according to people who talked to him
last week, reports gossip columnist Liz Smith.

And that was before he was forced to tap his Presidential
Library Foundation Fund to cover part of the rent on his
gold-plated New York City office digs - or the news that
Hillary "Sticky Fingers" Clinton tried to make off with
$28,000 in White House furnishings.

If, as they say, it's lonely at the top, it's even lonelier
climbing your way back down the ladder, a lesson the
ex-president is now learning in spades.

Democrats who rushed to his defense when he turned the White
House into a bordello or traded nuclear secrets for campaign
cash can't wait to express their disgust over the Clintons'
tawdry exit.

Even Congressman Henry Waxman, who never met a Clinton
scandal he couldn't excuse, is suddenly dumping on Bubba and
Bubbette over their last-minute pardon of fugutive
billionaire Marc Rich.

"There's pretty widespread agreement that the pardon should
not have been granted," Waxman's spokesman told the New York
Daily News Monday.

Ditto for former Clinton congressional waterboys like Barney
Frank and Pat Leahy, who haven't been shy lately about
expressing their displeasure over the Rich fiasco either.

Compounding the Clintons' problem: The White House War Room
that used to respond in a flash with evidence that Bill and
Hillary's sins are no worse than those of past first
families is no longer at their disposal.

Gone also is the power to order up those FBI files, which
the ex-first couple allegedly used to great effect to keep
both Democrats and Republicans from getting out of line.


Read more on this subject in related Hot Topics:
Sen. Hillary Clinton

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