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Freedom of "Kosher" Speech

The Journey of an Arab American and His Letter  

by Mohamed Khodr

As an Arab American and a Muslim I was ashamed that for years I had avoided
any involvement on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict whether locally or by
contacting my Congressmen or the media.  I was afraid that if I spoke up that
I would somehow face retaliation by some Jewish or Zionist person or
organization.  I was afraid of losing my job, having someone hurt my family
or home, or of being shunned in my community as an "Anti-Semite."  I've heard
of horror stories of these people calling your home with threats, sending
insulting or threatening emails, calling people's bosses and intimidating
them by involving the fearsome Anti-Defamation League.   I mean, if Americans
are afraid to speak out against Israel why should I, right?  Even the
President, Congress, Law Enforcement and the media are afraid of them.  I
also heard that they even killed an Arab American Professor in California and
that the Anti-Defamation League was allegedly involved in stealing files on
any American who dares speak out against Israel.  I've always understood that
Americans no matter who they are truly fear the Jewish lobby and don't want
to be labeled as "Anti-Semites." Even American Jews are afraid of the zealot
Zionist Jews.  For God's sake if the entire world won't speak out against
Israel's killing of civilians with F-16's who am I to tread into such
dangerous waters.  Even 1.3 Billion Muslims worldwide and 7 Million American
Muslims are afraid to do anything so why should I, right..  Why should I get
involved?  I mean, Arabs and Muslims don't trust each other, they are jealous
and envious of each other and don't want anything good to happen for each
other.  The Arab/Muslim leaders are a bunch of crooks who are afraid to even
sit in their own chair (do you notice that all of them have a soldier
standing behind them in meetings), in their own palaces, in their own capital
because they are afraid of their own military, their own government, and
their own people.  Most Muslim countries are busy spending their wealth on
weapons to kill their own people or fight border wars.  I don't even see them
pray except on holidays in front of the cameras.  Even Muslim businesses
treat Muslims with poor customer service and disrespect unlike the respect
they show other Americans.   So why bother.  If no one cares, why should I
care.  I left my own country to find peace, security, and a job.  I wanted to
be in a country where the individual is worth something, where freedoms of
religion and speech are guaranteed, where all citizens are treated equally
under the law.

But then something happened to me one night while watching the news. I saw a
man my age shouting and motioning his arm to Israeli soldiers to stop
shooting while his other arm was fiercely protecting his 12 year old son. 
Awesome fear was on their faces as they tried hiding behind some kind of
barrel.  Within seconds I saw bullets strike the boys legs and the fathers
shoulder.  The father desperately pulling his son to his side shielding him
with his wounded thin body.  More bullets into the boy. The boy's face was
screaming and crying with pain.  More bullets.  This time blood gushed out of
the boy's abdomen and he slumped onto his father's right lap--dead. The
father was also shot repeatedly in the chest.  His head swirled while his
right hand still laid on the boy's shoulder.  He lost consciousness.  An
ambulance driver rushed to help them but he too was cut down in the middle of
the road.  Another driver tried to help but was severely wounded.  As I
stared in shock I couldn't help but wonder how many times the little boy had
put his head on his father's lap and slept.  How comforting for him to feel
his father's hand before he slept forever.   Sleep, Muhammad, sleep sweet
prince, sweet son, sweet child of Palestine.  You are in peace while your
parents, siblings, neighbors, and country still live in the hell called the
"territories."

My wife snapped me out of my daze crying.  "You know", she says, "you and I
and every Muslim, Arab, Christian, or Jew who wants peace paid for those
American made bullets and rifles that killed the little boy. I don't know
what to do or how to help.  Please, God, help us do something."

I couldn't sleep that night reliving the murder of a little boy and hearing
my wife's words over and over.  The next morning I turned on the TV to see
what they would say about the boy's death.  Only CNN mentioned it. They had a
Middle East "expert" who said the boy's death was tragic but that the Israeli
forces are reporting that the boy died in a "crossfire" and most probably was
killed by mistake by Palestinians.  He also mentioned that the boy was
involved in stone throwing and endangering the lives of Israeli soldiers
prior to his death.  I went to the internet to see the editorials and columns
and they pretty much said the same thing.  No one bothered interviewing
eyewitnesses, the man who shot the video, the family or any of the
journalists present.   The State Department spokesman said this tragic
incident is another indication that the Palestinians must stop the "violence"
and that both sides need to exercise restraint. It's good Muhammad died. 
Even when my eyes saw the entire episode the powerful lobby lips are lying to
my ears.

In an insane moment I decided to exercise my free speech for the first time
in this country.  I wrote a letter to the editor of the New York Times in
response to the editorial that whitewashed the death of a little boy. I
signed my name, address, and phone number.  I didn't know what to expect but
I felt good I did something.
Suddenly three hours later the phone rings.

"Hello"
 
"Yes, is this Mr. Khodr?
 
"Yes, it is."
 
"Hi, my name is Jane Smith and I'm from the New York Times.          I'm
calling because we're considering your letter for publication         but I
do have some comments.

"Oh, great.  I didn't think you would ever consider it.  Thanks. What did you
need."

"Well, first I'm sending it back because it's too long for our space. Could
you cut it down to 150 words?  We do want to use it but our space is limited
and we do get hundreds of letters a day.  Is that agreeable with you."

"Okay, but I was careful to keep it to 200 words and I've seen you print much
longer letters.  But if that's the only way, sure I'll cut it down and resend
it.  Thank you."  I cut it down to 150 and resent it.   I look for it the
next three days, but no letter.  So far in two days ten letters have appeared
on the editorial.  All of them were from Israeli's or American Jews like Abe
Foxman of the A.D.L. or Mort Klein of the Zionist Organization of America.  
They all blame the Palestinians for the Intifadah for the boy's death and
blame his parents for encouraging him to throw stones at armed soldiers.

So I call Ms. Smith after a week to follow up on the letter. She was pleasant
on the phone as usual but explained that they're inundated with letters on
the issue and mine is still being considered.  But, she says, her editor
wants me to tone down the words and attitude of my letter.  She explains that
strong words of criticism only serve to confuse the reader leading to the
message of the letter being lost.  So she sends it back, again.

It now takes me longer, about another week or so, to come up with acceptable
uncritical words of the shooting.  In the meantime, Friedman and Safire write
insulting and dehumanizing columns of the Palestinian Intifadah but more
outrageously questioning the humanity of Palestinian parents who would send
children to their death fighting soldiers.   I'm getting angrier as I read
the columns but calmly I send my letter, now only 100 bland words simply
questioning the use of live ammunition against stone throwing children.

A week later I get a call from Ms. Smith.

"Mr. Khodr, I'm glad to see you edited your letter.  It's looking better but
do you have any factual information or interviews of people who were there
that can corroborate your statement that weapons were being used against
children only throwing stones?  We have reports that this was a "crossfire"
and that Palestinians were shooting as well.  Once you find that information
do send me the letter because I think its important to publish your
viewpoint."

How on earth am I going to conduct interviews or get factual information? 
That same night, Bob Simon of CBS's 60 minutes has a segment on the
incident.  He interviews the IDF General who explains to him in a diagram
that only Palestinian fire could have killed the boy. Mr. Simon doesn't
interview any eyewitnesses, journalists, soldiers, or Palestinians for the
report.  Thus 60 minutes true to its character became the defense team for
Israel, absolving it of responsibility, casting doubt on the issue and
confusing the American public even further.  I'm now frustrated.  So I do a
search on the Internet and find an interview on ABCNEWS.com with the Agence
France Press photographer who shot the video.   I was ecstatic. So I used the
interview in my letter and resend as an 80 word letter.

Two weeks later Ms. Smith calls.  "Mr. Khodr, I'm glad you could find this
valuable information but unfortunately that interview is copyrighted and we
can't use it.  Do you have other information you could use?"

I thought the only way to get such an interview was to fly to Israel myself
and interview the father.  After one year of saving money I left for Israel. 
After much interrogation and physical humiliation at the Tel Aviv airport I
was allowed a one week visa, despite my American passport.  I immediately
went to the "territories" to find Muhammad's parents. During my journey
nothing prepared me for the hell the Palestinians endure under Israeli
occupation.  Even as an American I was subjected to repeated checkpoints,
interrogation, delays, and much shoving.   America means nothing here
although our  taxes are paying for this military occupation and illegal
settlements.  I understood why young men wanted to blow themselves up. The
peace in the grave was better than the hell on the land.

I finally located the parents, did my interview, and returned to Tel Aviv for
my departure home. Shockingly this time I was arrested in the airport,
beaten, thrown in hand and leg cuffs into a dark van and taken to prison.  I
was given one call to make.  I couldn't decide to call my wife or the
American Embassy.  The other two dozen Arab Americans who've been in prison
for years, some tortured, guessed my predicament and told me to forget the
American Embassy and call my wife.  Apparently the Embassy is scared and
impotent to do anything with Israel even if Americans are imprisoned.

I called my wife and told her not to worry.  I had written the letter of 50
words for the Times with the actual interview of Muhammad's father.  He's
still recovering from his bullet wounds and the murder of his son.  I asked
her to email my letter to the Times.  She did.

A week later Ms. Smith called to say that unfortunately the issue is old and
irrelevant and that they won't be using the letter.

My wife called me to tell me that the issue now is "irrelevant". Indeed, the
death of a 12 year old boy is "irrelevant."  With a lump in my throat I told
Muhammad not to worry, he's not alone, for now I too am "irrelevant" to my
country.

In the years I spent rotting in an Israeli prison while my wife sold
everything to hire lawyers and lobby "my" government to no avail all I could
do to keep my sanity was to etch on the cell walls:  NO ONE CARES, WHY SHOULD
I.

One especially cold night I was awakened by a powerful sound that threw me to
the floor.  A strong yellow and red light was coming through my small window
and I could smell gunpowder.  I called out for my guard screaming "what's
happened, what's happening.  Someone, please tell me."

The prison guard I knew only too well came to my door and pulled the window
screen aside and said to me with a wide smirk:  "It's over you stupid
Muslim.  The Temple Mount Warriors and Rabbis just blew up the Al-Aqsa
Mosque.  No more "dome of the stone" on our holy temple ground. Tomorrow we
lay the stone for the Third Temple Mount.  No one cares about you, Muslim.
Today Al-Aqsa tomorrow Mecca."  His words pierced and tore the flesh between
my ribs as he walked away laughing and spitting.

I felt a strong hand choking my chest.  I couldn't breathe.  I fell to my
knees weak and sweating.

I could hear my ghost like whisper:  "I bear witness that there is no God but
Allah (SWT), and I bear witness that Muhammad is His Prophet."  A sense of
serenity overcame me as I realized that Allah (SWT) does care for me and
cares for all his children.  If only those who surrender to Him cared enough
to care for one another.






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