-Caveat Lector-

From
http://www.thetexasmercury.com/articles/copold/DC20010923.html

}}}>Begin
We
    Americans,
We Unhappy Americans:
Bush's War Whoop Dissected Derek Copold
Tongue
    freshly darkened by presidential bootblack, David Gergen burbled
on about
    George W. Bush�s Thursday night speech. Waxing Shakespearean, the
    invertebrated Gergen told his interviewer that our Prince Hal of
Andover
    fame had grown up to become a Henry V. As Henry V�s successful
career eventually
    spawned St. Joan of Arc�s far more successful martyrdom which led
to
    England�s bloody eviction from the European continent, I didn�t
find
    this analogy as heartening as Mr. Gergen apparently did. But then
again, I
    would expect no less from him. He�s the sort of man more fascinated with
    politicians than he is with parties or even the nation. That nation, 
unfortunately, is more in agreement
    with Gergen than myself. With the grief and anger caused by September 11th�s
    events, this comes as no surprise. However, despite my sharing in the nation�s 
outrage, I was not encouraged by the president�s address; indeed, I was rather 
frightened by it and the uncritical reaction it has met. Un
surprisingly, Bush declared war on the Taliban,
    but he did so in his own unique way. Employing his uniquely ingratiating 
�compassion�,
    our dear leader distinguished between Afghanistan�s ruling faction and its
    people, "The United States respects the people of Afghanistan�" Sure we do. And we 
no of now better way to
    express this deep respect for other peoples than to give them a bit
    carpet-bombing and impose economic sanctions, which manage to kill almost
    everyone except terrorists. Once he had finished crooning his soothing song
    of respect, informing the American populace that he respected Islam, whose
    "teachings are good and peaceful", the president then listed a set
    of demands. The Taliban, unsurprisingly, rejected them. In fact, they were
    designed for that very purpose, and now we are committed to fighting a war
    in Central Asia. I need not detail the difficulties involved with
    a war in Afghanistan. It is a remote and barren land. Its mountains, the
    Hindu Kush (Killer of Hindus), defeated both the British Empire and the
    Soviet Union when both were at their pinnacle of power. We also have the
    added disadvantage of being forced to access Afghanistan through unreliable
    allies, such as Pakistan, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan. Indeed, the peoples of
    these countries probably hate us as much, if not more, than they do the
    Taliban. Afghanistan will be a very tough nut to crack. Yet I think we may be able 
to break it. To our
    advantage, there is a native force in Afghanistan fighting the Taliban, the
    Northern Alliance. Made up of Uzbeks, Tajiks and other ethnicities, they
    have no love for the Pashtuns running Kabul. After years of neglect, much of
    the Taliban�s more advanced weaponry, like the Stinger missiles we gave
    them in the 80s, have deteriorated. Given a well thought out plan and
    intelligent use of the Northern Alliance, we might just be able to displace
    our new enemies, and maybe even capture Osama bin Laden. But then what? This is 
where the President�s
    speech takes a dangerous turn into a vague fog of abstraction. Bush isn�t
    satisfied with just Afghanistan, and he says so: "Our enemy is a
    radical network of terrorists and every government that supports them." And he�s 
serious. You know this because he uses
    the �n� word. No, not that one, the other one. The terrorists, Bush
    tells us, "�follow in the path of fascism, Nazism and
    totalitarianism." I�m glad he mentioned "fascism" and
    "totalitarianism"; we wouldn�t want to confuse them with Nazism. In pursuit of 
this glorious (dare I say it)
    crusade, our dear leader declares, "Every nation in every region now
    has a decision to make: Either you are with us or you are with the
    terrorists� From this day forward, any nation that continues to harbor or
    support terrorism will be regarded by the United States as a hostile
    regime." Thus begins the great "War on
    Terrorism." We are now engaged in a death struggle with a noun. But before we 
attack the offending verbiage, let�s
    ask ourselves a few questions. What does our dear leader mean by terrorism?
    Is it just the Middle Eastern flavor, or are we going to include the IRA? If
    so, Massachusetts could be considered a hostile regime. Personally, I wouldn�t 
mind seeing Hyannis Port bombed, especially when Prince Ted is in town, but
    others might object. Are we going to include "narco-terrorists"?
    If so, we�d better send the armored divisions south to the border, muy
    pronto. Mexico is infested with narcos, and the government there
    protects them, which is why it keeps failing its official Drug War
    certification. Should we lift the executive order forbidding assassination
    so that the CIA can cap George W. Bush�s good amigo, Vicent� Fox? Or would our 
definition of terrorism include a
    nation that protects a force who enters a bordering country, incites a
    minority ethnicity into civil war, burn churches, monasteries and drives out
    rival ethnicities? Someone like, say, the Kosovo Liberation Army, which has
    done just this in Kosovo and is now doing it in Macedonia. Maybe we should
    bomb the bastards who fund and support these monsters. Ooops, that�s us. President 
Bush has managed to declare war on both
    nobody and everybody, all within the space of one sentence. We can�t
    possibly hope to prosecute the kind of war he�s talking about because
    nobody has the same idea of what constitutes terrorism. So very often, our
    terrorists are another nation�s freedom fighters, or holy warriors.
    As a result, this war will be about as successful as the "War on
    Drugs" or the "War on Poverty." And, it will come at a
    greater cost. The President should have steered clear of this
    verbal swamp and limited himself to the people who attacked us. Our nation
    has no interest in which faction runs Belfast, nor does it really matter to
    us if the Tamil Tigers or their enemy take northern Sri Lanka. We don�t
    care who governs Chechnya, nor should we really give a damn about whose flag
    flies on top of the Temple Mount. What we do care about is who it is who killed our
    people, and we should instead concentrate on eliminating them and their
    state sponsors. Let�s not be coy. We know who these countries are: Iraq,
    Iran, Syria, Libya, Sudan and a few others who (surprise, surprise) all
    practice that religion whose teachings President Bush believes are
    "good and peaceful." These countries, and only these countries,
    should have been the subject of the President�s speech. But instead he
    chose to fight an omnipresent chimera, one that could make potential enemies
    out of almost every other nation in the world. The president�s belligerency isn�t 
limited to
    foreigners either. The final part of his speech created yet another
    bureaucracy dedicated to regulating the American people. Because the FBI,
    the BATF, the Secret Service, the CIA, the DEA, the INS and all the other
    letters of the alphabet failed to protect us on September 11, the president
    now wants to add another set of letters to the list: the OHS, the Office of
    Homeland Security. If you think the name sounds familiar, then you�re
    right. During Hitler�s reign, Germany was protected by the RHSA, the 
Reichshauptsicherheitamt, which roughly translates into "Main Office of Homeland 
Security." Governor Tom Ridge will fill this cabinet level
    position, and his role will be modeled along the lines of the Drug Czar�s.
    And we all know how successful the Drug Czars have been. Needless to say, this new 
office will soon be
    butting into all affairs American. Tapping phone lines, reading e-mails and
    ransacking residences. It�ll have enough power to bring A. Palmer Mitchell
    back from the dead, trembling with ghastly delight. In the end this Office
    of Homeland Security will do just about everything but make us secure. We
    certainly won�t be secure from it. In fairness, some might object that Governor
    Ridge is a good man, and intrusions under his reign will likely be limited.
    I agree.  But it isn�t Ridge I worry about so much as it is the next
    person to fill his position, or the person after him, or the next, and so
    on. Put it this way: if Bill Clinton were still president and Janet Reno
    were still the Attorney General, would we, especially those of us on the
    Right, still favor this new agency�s creation? And remember, there is
    another Clinton out there who could become president. Indeed, how much of this 
speech would make us
    happy had it been delivered by someone with such a low character as Bill
    Clinton?  Would we want to allow him a vague declaration of war against
    a word? Or to commit troops and resources willy-nilly across the globe,
    hypocritically supporting one faction of thugs while condemning another? (Ooops,
    too late) Would we want him and his cronies having yet more power than they
    already possessed? These are the kinds of questions that flattering
    curs like Gergen ignore. The modern day paladins don�t care who�s in
    power, just as long as whoever it is can do them some good, like getting
    them an appointment or creating an interesting news story. But the country
    can�t afford to play the courtier�s game. When it allows a Henry V to
    lead it into foreign conquests, it may prosper for a time, but that moment
    is fleeting. Conquest�s obligations eventually fall into the hands
    incompetent successors, like the ones who saw England tossed out of France.
    From there the country faces great ruin as one foreign disaster
leads to
    another. In England this cycle ended with the murderous tyranny
of Henry
    VIII. But for all his flaws, at least Henry VIII knew
    how to handle Gergen�s type. I hear he went through courtiers
even faster
    than he did wives.
Derek Copold


End<{{{
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