-Caveat Lector-
From
http://www.sierratimes.com/archive/files/oct/25/rockyd.htm
}}}>Begin
Politically Incorrect Movie Reviews
by RadioFree Rocky D
>From Hell
Cast:
Johnny Depp (Inspector Abberline) - Keith Richards & Jessica
Fletcher's love child.
Heather Graham (Mary Kelly) - ho' with a heart; but not for long if
Jack finds her.
Ian Holm (Sir William Gull) - thinks you don't know Jack.
Ian Richardson (Sir Charles Warren) - doesn�t want you to know Jack.
Robbie Coltrane (Peter) - if John Candy had lived as a serious
Englishman.
Ian McNee (Police Surgeon Drudge) - so, can Matt sue for this?
Early on in From Hell we see virtually every character wielding a
knife; muggers, thugs, doctors, pimps, johns, OJ. It's up to us to
guess whom the slasher of turn-of-the-century White Chapel is. Throw
in Prince Edward's syphilis problem, a Freemason conspiracy, psychic
powers, drug addiction, a brief appearance from The Elephant Man (?!)
and lots of blood-n-guts on the streets of gloomy London and what you
end up with is Freddy Krueger meets Masterpiece Theatre.
This high-society hacker flick does for the Jack the Ripper what
Oliver Stone's JFK did for the Kennedy assassination -- it passes off
wild theories as facts while tossing in a few fun make-'em-ups just
for snicks. And the PC thought police are in full gear in From Hell,
because after all, it takes place in London, home of those evil
Caucasians who would dare to historically dominate western
civilization.
London is an evil place precisely because there are too many
Caucasians. Some Londoners were involved in the slave trade in years
past. They went around conquering, crusading and other evil deeds
like spreading capitalism. They're all dirty people with bad teeth
and no morals who pick on the poor and downtrodden masses. The only
good thing about England is their ultra-high tax rate, which can be
as high as 80%. This is necessary because, just like here in the USA,
the Big Government knows better than you how to handle your hard
earned money. I know this because Hollyweird tells me so.
Our hero in this blue and moody little gory-story spends most of his
time huffing Laudanum, which is a fun and frolicky blend of opium and
alcohol. It's kind of like Trail Mix for Robert Downey Jr. He also
guzzles Absinthe, which was quite the custom for the upper-crust
users from the turn-of-the-century. Absinthe was made from distilled
wormwood (mmm, tasty!) and then poured over sugar cubes into a glass
of wine or brandy. This stuff'll getcha stoned real quick. It may not
do your brain a whole lotta good, but you'll die with a freshly
varnished esophagus.
So after examining a few blood-splattered crime scenes and then
getting stoned out his head, Inspector Scissorhands tells his
superiors that they should be on the lookout for an educated white
gentleman of means who has knowledge of surgical anatomy.
Wait a minute � just one cotton pickin' minute here � is the
Inspector profiling? Racially profiling to boot? How dare he?! Call
the ACLU! Call the NAACP! Call AA!
Jack The Ripper ushered in the era of the serial killer, although
since Jack did his thing, mass killers have upped the ante tenfold.
By today's standards, Jack would've been a mere wannabe. But Jack
started a trend; most mass murders have traditionally been Caucasian
loners between the ages of 25-50 and the authorities know that. When
a serial killer is on the prowl, you can bet he fits the above
profile -- uh-ohhhh -- there's that evil word again: Profile. There's
a lot of talk about profiling these days. It's how cops know whom to
look for when a creepy crook is on the loose. But the ACLU and other
wacky organizations that claim to protect civil liberties, but really
spend most of their time protecting the most uncivil of those among
us is using the issue of profiling to get their name in the press and
raise money for it's coffers. To the leftists, profiling represents
racial prejudice. Never mind if a hoodlum gets away or if innocent
people get hurt, it's more important to the ACLU that America not be
insensitive.
Note to the ACLU: If we had some criminal profiling in effect at
Logan Airport on the morning of 9/11/01, there would still be 7000
more people alive and the World Trade Center would still be standing.
So, ACLU, how many liberals died in the terrorist attack on 9/11? You
don't even care if you kill your own kind, do you? And that's right,
I said terrorist, not alleged terrorist as you liberals would like me
to say. If on the morning of 9/11 the Arab terrorists were not
allowed to board those ill-fated airliners due to the fact that they
appeared to be terrorists, the ACLU would've rushed right in yelling,
Racism! Racism! And then there would've been a million dollar
lawsuit, which the Airlines would have been forced to pay out to the
terrorists. Then the terrorists would have even more money to buy
Anthrax.
Profiling is how you catch killers � before they kill again. Not that
another death ever bothered the leftists any.
Here's another one for you liberals to chew on � you like golf? I
hear Afghanistan has 1000 new holes.
What would a politically correct film be without the typical evil
cabal of rich white guys? From Hell blames it all on the Freemasons.
Yup; those guys you see in the Shriner hats displaying precision go-
carting in the Memorial Day parade. Apparently, the Freemasons are
responsible for Jack The Ripper. They hold all the power, have secret
meetings with secret handshakes and go bowling together. In the
London Freemason chapter, circa 1888, there are no blacks, no Jews
and no Hispanics. There are only evil white guys who hide Jack The
Ripper.
Bad Freemasons! Bad bad bad!
And why are they trying to hide The Ripper? Because he is killing the
witnesses (rent-a-ho's) who know something embarrassing to the
aristocracy. Of course the best way to keep a secret from the public
is to spectacularly and conspicuously kill the witnesses one-by-one
and leave the bodies lying around in the street so that the
newspapers get involved. Good show, Jack; well played, old chap. By
Jove, you've created tabloid journalism, old man!
The fact that the Hollyweirdos put such silly poppycock in From Hell
boggles the mind more than Laudanum and Absinthe in the same
cocktail. Are the Freemasons an evil cabal? Well, John Wayne was a
Freemason. So were George Washington, John Philips Sousa, Roy Rogers
and Florenz Ziegfeld. Come to think of it, so is Buzz Aldrin, Paul
Harvey, Michael Cain and Wendy's Dave Thomas among many others. No
black Freemasons? What about Alex Haley, Louis Armstrong and former
Atlanta mayor Andrew Young? No Jewish Freemasons? I guess the writers
forgot Harry Houdini, W.C. Fields ("Zounds! A funny hat AND a pint of
ale! It's a good day �") and MGM's Louis Mayer.
Never mind the facts; they just get in the way of a good theory, to
wit, the Freemasons are evil white guys who control all the
unsuspecting downtrodden and "minorities," forcing them to do their
evil bidding. Bwaa-hahhahahaha!
I wonder if Kathy Lee is a Freemason.
There is even a scene where the Evil Caucasian Guy In Charge blames
the murders on American Indians. "�Perhaps these savage Injuns did it
�" he stupidly muses as he looks at an American Cowboy pamphlet (for
what reason he has this pamphlet is not explained, but then again
there is a lot of unexplained goofiness in this film).
Caucasian Europeans are stupid, no matter how successful they are.
They blame all their problems on poor downtrodden folks who are
pressed into forced labor by whitey's sweat-labor shops. We need
government programs to combat this. I know this because Hollyweird
tells me so.
>From Hell is full of MTV-style fast-clip images of ho'-hackin', while
spooky music rumbles menacingly. Most of the characters in the film
are either oddly ugly or just plain grimy. All the ho's are very
skanky save one -- Heather Graham, whose only distinguishing
characteristics are her flaming red hair and the fact that she seems
to bathe and brush her teeth more often than her colleagues. The
other ho's are often referred to as "bangtails" and "pinchpricks."
Nice, huh? Try that next time you want to get laid, guys. Then call
the dentist the next day to get your teeth removed from the back of
your throat.
In short, From Hell is a morose and disappointingly average tale.
It's thick with atmosphere, but thin on storyline. It sort of makes
you tired just watching it. From Hell does have, however, a
historically accurate cameo by The Elephant Man, John Merrick. Don't
ask me what he's doing in this film, because the only answer I can
give you is Laudanum. LOTS of Laudanum.
Come to think of it, it would've been a real kooky twist if Jack
turned out to be The Elephant Man, but I don't want to give Adam
Sandler any more ideas for another stupid movie. Puh-leeze.
From Hell has all of the 5 B's in it. Blood (bathtubs full
of it), Breasts (here a ho' there a ho' everywhere a ho' ho'),
Beasts (Jack the original beastie boy), Bashes (mo' hackin'
& slashin' than an OJ convention) and Bombs (one bigass boom).
Come to think of it, the Taliban doesn't treat their women
any better than Jack did, but that would be politically Incorrect to
point that out. Now pass the Absinthe -- I take mine with two lumps,
thenk-yew.
I give From Hell two and a half Capitalist Dollar Signs.
$$�
Notice: Starting October 1, 2001, all items for the previous
month free of charge. Items published prior to the first day
of the previous month will require membership to Roadhouse
Sierra - The Sierra Times Members Only section. Only Sierra
Times Members may access those items.
The costs are $25 for six months access, and $40 for annual
membership. You can sign up here.
All fees go to the continued operation of Sierra Times.com
Radio Free Rocky D
Johnny Depp and Heather Graham star in
>From Hell
Previous Movie Reviews
Bandits
10.18.01
Don't Say A Word
10.11.01
Megiddo: Omega Code 2
10.04.01
Hardball
09.20.01
Jeepers Creepers
09.06.01
Bubble Boy
08.30.01
Captain Corelli's Mandolin
08.23.01
The Others
08.16.01
Original Sin
08.14.01
Rush Hour 2
08.08.01
Planet of the Apes
08.02.01
Jurassic Park 3
07.27.01
The Score
07.20.01
Legally Blonde
07.12.01
Baby Boy
07.10.01
A.I.
07.05.01
The Fast & the Furious
06.29.01
Atlantis: The Lost Empire
06.21.01
Tomb Raider
06.20.01
Evolution
06.15.01
Operation: Swordfish
06.14.01
Moulin Rouge
06.07.01
Pearl Harbor
06.01.01
Shrek
05.24.01
A Knight's Tale
05.16.01
The Mummy
05.12.01
Politically
Incorrect Movie Reviews: An Introduction
05.11.01 .. ..
Permission
to reprint/republish granted, as long as you include
the name of our site, the
author, and our URL. www.SierraTimes.com
All Sierra Times news reports, and all editorials are � 2001
SierraTimes.com
(unless otherwise noted)
End<{{{
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Forwarded as information only; no endorsement to be presumed
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. section 107, this material
is distributed without charge or profit to those who have
expressed a prior interest in receiving this type of information
for non-profit research and educational purposes only.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking
new landscapes but in having new eyes. -Marcel Proust
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe
simply because it has been handed down for many generations. Do not
believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do
not believe in anything simply because it is written in Holy Scriptures. Do not
believe in anything merely on the authority of Teachers, elders or wise men.
Believe only after careful observation and analysis, when you find that it
agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all.
Then accept it and live up to it."
The Buddha on Belief, from the Kalama Sutta
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
A merely fallen enemy may rise again, but the reconciled
one is truly vanquished. -Johann Christoph Schiller,
German Writer (1759-1805)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that
prevents us from living freely and nobly. -Bertrand Russell
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
"Everyone has the right...to seek, receive and impart
information and ideas through any media and regardless
of frontiers."
Universal Declaration of Human Rights
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will
teach you to keep your mouth shut."
--- Ernest Hemingway
<A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/";>www.ctrl.org</A>
DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER
==========
CTRL is a discussion & informational exchange list. Proselytizing propagandic
screeds are unwelcomed. Substance�not soap-boxing�please! These are
sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory'�with its many half-truths, mis-
directions and outright frauds�is used politically by different groups with
major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought.
That being said, CTRLgives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and
always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no
credence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply.
Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector.
========================================================================
Archives Available at:
http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/archives/ctrl.html
<A HREF="http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/archives/ctrl.html";>Archives of
[EMAIL PROTECTED]</A>
http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/
<A HREF="http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/";>ctrl</A>
========================================================================
To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email:
SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email:
SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Om
