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http://www.sundayherald.com/22006
So now we know what they get up to on the Mound. They're all poncing around in aprons with their trousers rolled up and their left breasts exposed. The revelation that up to a third of the Scottish Tory MSPs are Freemasons -- according to the Tory spokesman Alex Johnstone MSP -- rather upstaged Iain Duncan Smith's Scottish visit. Mind you, since the Tory leader had provoked confusion over the party's commitment to free personal care, perhaps upstaging was the best thing that could happen to him.So far this has only been a Tory scandal, largely because the other parties -- even the SNP, who raised the matter -- have been curiously reluctant to equal the Tories' openness. Well, I for one think we should be told. All the parties should urge Masonic MSPs to declare themselves.
The votes-for-aprons affair may be faintly absurd, but it is not insignificant. The fact that a secret, sexist and sectarian cult is operating within the Scottish parliament is pretty shocking to those of us who have little experience of the dark side of Scottish political culture. Most people these days think Freemasonry is the kind of thing that falls through Edinburgh restaurants in a gale. The public should know exactly who they are voting for at elections. It has taken decades to drive the Masonic networks (partially) out of the police and judiciary; they should not be allowed to flourish in parliament.
Of course, we're told that the Freemasons are no longer a secret brotherhood, but a brotherhood with secrets. A harmless pastime; charitable; the ultimate men's group. But any way you look at it, the Freemasons are, first and foremost, the ultimate clique. Masonry is the apotheosis of cronyism. It is a conspiracy against the Scottish parliament's values of transparency, openness and accountability. The aims of the brotherhood are inimical to those of the parliament and, like the Militant Tendency in Labour, they should be exposed .
I don't know how many Masons are among the political press corps in the Lawnmarket, but I have my suspicions. If MSPs are to register their membership of such cults, and I believe they should, I hope that the rule would apply equally to journalists. Masonic lodges used to be very active in Westminster, as I once learned once to my cost. The lobby in Westminster is believed by many to have been based originally on a Masonic order. The lodge still operates, though it has been usurped by the even more sinister brotherhood of spin.
No doubt I'll be found in a gutter in the Lawnmarket with a silken noose around my neck for saying offensive things about those good, charitable souls. Or maybe I shall have my throat torn out by the roots and buried at high tide, or my heart cut from my chest and fed to ravens. These are some of the grislier penalties with which Masons were threatened if they broke the lodge code. We're assured that all that kind of thing is history and that Masons are a cuddly conspiracy these days -- shiny, happy people holding hands. They've even got their own PR company trying to improve the image. Well, if so, let's hear how many Masons in Scotland are women, how many are Catholic or black. Until the brotherhood is truly open, it should be closed down.
The Masons on the Mound affair is a classic example of the kind of story that fills a vacuum when there is no real politics going on. The high spot of last week's business was a debate on fur farming, even though there are no fur farms in Scotland. The SNP also revealed that most of the legislation passed by the Scottish parliament is in fact written by Westminster under the so-called Sewell motions. But perhaps we should be glad that little has being going on in the Scottish parliament. It's a chance to do a bit of housekeeping in the institution. Clearing out the dark recesses. Lifting the odd stone.
Meanwhile, the Scottish Executive is keeping its head down. Jack McConnell is proving to be a master of lowering expectations. The political strategy seems to be to keep as low a profile as possible, like the brotherhood, and hope that everyone forgets about the Scottish government altogether. The Euro 2008 championships have been kicked into touch; the prisons review has been shelved; the 15-year transport policy quietly laid to rest. Wendy Alexander has been told to go away and open motorways in Glasgow -- the ultimate humiliation for the radical voice of modernity in the Scottish Cabinet. You can almost hear them saying: 'That'll learn hur.'
It seems that Jack McConnell believes the parliament has acquired such a bad image it should remain in self-imposed obscurity for a while until it's learned its lesson. Like the Scot through the ages, the parliament has to learn to know its place. No more wild talk of governments, Scottish solutions to Scottish problems and answering back to Westminster. Well, maybe he's right. However, the fear is that, like Strathclyde Region redux, it will emerge as a fully functioning big council.
The municipalisation of the Scottish parliament may seem to be unstoppable. But it is not the easy way out of the current impasse that some seem to believe it is. Holyrood is not a council, but a national parliament and an expression of popular sovereignty. Scotland may be going through one of her frequent periods of self-doubt and identity crisis, but the Scottish dimension will bounce back -- it always does. The SNP will be back too.
Moreover, Labour is in a coalition. The Lib Dems are trying to distance themselves as much as possible from the 'do less' strategy. They want to trumpet the achievements of the parliament rather than play them down. The SNP are languishing in the opinion polls, but that won't last forever. By the time of the 2003 elections they will be in better shape. They will argue that the Executive has abandoned devolution and that Labour is a London poodle.
It is in Labour's long-term interest to ensure that the parliament has a proper job to do. If nothing else, to keep it out of Masonic mischief.
