Oh, this is just too rich! ROFLMAO!:
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Startled marines find Afghan men all made up to see them
Chris Stephen In Bagram
BRITISH marines returning from an operation deep in the Afghan
mountains spoke last night of an alarming new threat - being
propositioned by swarms of gay local farmers.
An Arbroath marine, James Fletcher, said: "They were more
terrifying than the al-Qaeda. One bloke who had painted toenails was
offering to paint ours. They go about hand in hand, mincing around the
village."
While the marines failed to find any al-Qaeda during the seven-day
Operation Condor, they were propositioned by dozens of men in villages
the troops were ordered to search.
"We were pretty shocked," Marine Fletcher said. "We
discovered from the Afghan soldiers we had with us that a lot of men in
this country have the same philosophy as ancient Greeks: �a woman for
babies, a man for pleasure�."
Originally, the marines had sent patrols into several villages in
the mountains near the town of Khost, hoping to catch up with al-Qaeda
suspects who last week fought a four-hour gun battle with soldiers of the
Australian SAS. The hardened troops, their faces covered in camouflage
cream and weight down with weapons, radios and ammunition, were
confronted with Afghans wanting to stroke their hair.
"It was hell," said Corporal Paul Richard, 20. "Every
village we went into we got a group of men wearing make-up coming up,
stroking our hair and cheeks and making kissing noises."
At one stage, troops were invited into a house and asked to dance.
Citing the need to keep momentum in their search and destroy mission, the
marines made their excuses and left. "They put some music on and ask
us to dance. I told them where to go," said Cpl Richard. "Some
of the guys turned tail and fled. It was hideous."
The Afghan hill tribes live in some of the most isolated communities
in the country. "I think a lot of the problem is that they don�t
have the women around a lot," said another marine, Vaz Pickles.
"We only saw about two women in the whole six days. It was all very
disconcerting."
A second problem the British found came minutes after the first
helicopter touched down at one of the hilltop firebases, when local
farmers appeared demanding compensation for goats they claimed had been
blown off the mountains by the rotor blades. "Every time we landed a
Chinook near a village, we got some irate bloke running up to us saying
his goat has just got blown off the mountain ridge by the helicopter -
and then he demanded a hundred dollars compensation," said Major
Phil Joyce, commander of Whisky Company, one of four companies deployed.
As patrols moved away from the landing zones, the locals began
pestering Afghan troops attached to the marines with ever more outrageous
compensation demands - topping off at a demand from one village elder for
$500 (�300) for damage to a tree by the downdraft from helicopters.
But the marines were under orders to win the "hearts and
minds" of local farmers in what is one of the few remaining Taleban
bastions. "I managed to barter him down to two marine pens, a pencil
and a rubber," Major Joyce said. "He went away quite happy
."
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Edward ><+>
"UFOs exist. It's the Air Force that's only in science fiction."~GB+
http://www.global-connector.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/reality_pump/
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