-Caveat Lector- >From SMH
}}}>Begin The 10 commandments of pop July 8 2002 1. Thou shalt not dress like Gwen Stefani She's a nice enough lass, but somebody really should have a quiet word with Gwen Stefani about her wardrobe. Is she colour blind? Is it a Cyndi Lauper tribute gone awry? Either way, Stefani's singularly awful op-shop-chic style, with volume set permanently on 11, needs no copycats. 2. Thou shalt check ID before going the horizontal rumba Wild-eyed piano belter Jerry Lee Lewis, Mr Great Balls Of Fire himself, got the, er, ball rolling on this category in 1957 when, after being thrown out of bible college, he married his cousin, Myra Gale Brown. Lewis was in his early 20s and she was the 13- year-old daughter of his uncle, J W Brown. When the British press found out there was a Whole Lotta Shaking Going On, they opened up with both barrels on The Killer and his career stalled. Elvis Presley began dating wife-to-be Priscilla when she was 14, while 53-year-old Rolling Stone bassist Bill Wyman allegedly seduced 14-year-old British teenager Mandy Smith before marrying her five years later in 1989. Industry heavyweight Tommy Mottola was in his 40s when he offered a teenage Mariah Carey a deal with Columbia. He left his wife of 20 years for Carey, then in her early 20s. It didn't last. 3. Thou shalt tread carefully in the 28th year Rock history is littered with famous names who never made it past 27. Legendary bluesman Robert Johnson started the trend by dying at age 27 after drinking poisoned whisky in 1938. Janis Joplin (1943- 1970) overdosed on heroin in a Hollywood hotel room, Jimi Hendrix (1942-1970) died in London from drug-related complications while The Doors' Jim Morrison (1943-1971) passed over in a French bathroom. The Rolling Stones's Brian Jones (1942-1969) drowned in a swimming pool and Kurt Cobain (1967-1994 and pictured), put a gun to his head. 4. Thou shalt not attempt to save the world What with Paul McCartney and Morrissey trying to stop us from enjoying a steak or the odd bacon buttie, it's surely time for pop stars to back off. But, no. Having tried to save the world through his music and failed, Bono has taken on deleting Third World debt. "As a musician, it's a lot more glamorous to be on the barricades than to turn up with a briefcase and bowler hat," he waffled to the BBC. "Well, I'm here with a briefcase and bowler hat." 5. Thou shalt remember to thank the Lord before thanking stylists and fashion houses on CD sleeves It used to be bands gave thanks for free or discounted drums, guitars and amplifiers. Then Barbra Streisand started thanking her hairdresser. Now you're nobody unless your list of thankyous stretches to at least a page and includes respects to the likes of adidas oh, and God, if there's space. 6. Thou shalt learn about who makes money and who doesn't the hard way Songwriters get paid from the sale of the first CD. Singers and musicians who don't write songs don't see a cent until all money outlaid by the record label for recording, video clips, choreography, singing lessons, living wages, marketing, promotion and touring etc is recouped. Therefore, some songwriters live high on the hog while many singers and musicians stock shelves in supermarkets. Bands such as R.E.M and Grinspoon share the money evenly, while others are ruthless in enforcing a split based on who writes what. Boy and girl bands rarely write their songs, meaning their chances of making money are fairly limited. "I always thought the songwriters earned more, but I didn't realise how much more," Bardot's Tiffany Wood told Sunday Metro. "I was very surprised." 7. Thou shalt resist the temptation to ask the barber for a poodle perm This most absurd of hairstyles came into its own courtesy of Queen's guitarist Brian May in the 1970s. Many of the glam-metal bands in the 1980s such as Bon Jovi, Van Halen and Poison took up the baton and ran with it, adding painted-on Spandex to the equation. It was a very, very bad move. Despite its inherent dagginess, the perm has been a consistent side player, re-emerging into the spotlight last year courtesy of Albert Hammond jnr and Fab Moretti from the excessively cool New York rock band The Strokes. 8. Thou shalt not wear leather pants Jim Morrison got away with wearing leather strides, as did Elvis, Suzi Quatro and Michael Hutchence. The Ramones looked great in their leather jackets, but when the guy from Matchbox 20 leathered up, the game was well over. 9. Thou shalt not moan about tabloids while feeding them stories Kylie Minogue was just about to hit the stage in Manchester recently when she felt the need to talk to someone about her problems with boyfriend James Gooding. Rather than call, say, her sister, Kyles patched a call through to Dominic Mohan, gossip columnist at UK tabloid The Sun. I once asked All Saints' Natalie Appleton why, after breaking up with TV presenter Jamie Theakston, she felt the need to phone Matthew Wright, gossip columnist for the UK's Daily Mirror. "You know what," she said, "that's one thing I did that I regret. It was stupid." 10. Thou shalt be wary of mixing business with pleasure See Paul and Linda McCartney (Wings), Yoko Ono and John Lennon (pictured, The Beatles), Ike and Tina Turner, Richard and Linda Thompson, Sonny and Cher, Grant McLennan and Amanda Brown (Go- Betweens), Simon Austin and Angie Hart (Frente), Boy George and Jon Moss (Culture Club). This story was found at: http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2002/07/07/ 1025667089227.html End<{{{ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Forwarded as information only; no automatic endorsement + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. section 107, this material is distributed without charge or profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving this type of information for non-profit research and educational purposes only. + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + "Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe simply because it has been handed down for many generations. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is written in Holy Scriptures. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of Teachers, elders or wise men. 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