-Caveat Lector- http://www.thestar.com
Is Iraq Bush's ticket to get past heavy petting? By Slinger Advertisement: WHAT ARE friends for? If you had a friend who thought he was Napoleon, wouldn't you say something to him? Canada is a friend of the United States. Canada is such a close friend that lots of Canadians think that when the U.S. asks for something we should give it to them. You name it. Twenty bucks until the weekend? Sure. Go to war against Iraq? Terrific! But what if the President of the U.S. thinks he's Napoleon? Twenty bucks is okay. Even crazy people can run a little short. War, though. Shouldn't we say something to him? Wouldn't it be the friendly thing to do? The idea that the leaders on our side might be nuts never seems to occur to us. If it does occur to us, we try to put it out of our minds. It doesn't bear thinking about, especially if one's got his finger on the button. That the other side's leaders are nuts we take for granted. Of course they are. Otherwise they'd be on our side. Quick quiz: Why is it that leaders on our side are sane and sensible as the day is long, while the leaders on the other side are always certifiable? a) The luck of the draw. b) Get serious. (Failure to remember whose side God is on is treason.) Could George Bush be nuts? There's a whole lot of ways of being nuts, and a lot of different degrees. There are a lot of different degrees of thinking you're Napoleon. Some just dress the part, some decide to rule the world. Deciding to rule the world is one thing if you live in a rented room on Sherbourne St. It's another if you live in the White House and have the most powerful army and the biggest arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in the history of the world. It was something along those lines that convinced Napoleon he was Napoleon. Quick quiz: Why exactly was it Napoleon wanted to rule the world anyway? a) So he could change the names of the months. b) He had a short-man's complex. c) He had hemorrhoids. d) Because. Is George Bush nuts? His shrink won't say, it would be unprofessional, but it would be interesting to know a thing or two about his shrink. Is he kind of jumpy these days? Is he on Prozac? Has he moved to Montana and dug a bomb shelter and stocked it with 150 years' supply of canned goods? Just to clear something up before we proceed further, what gives anybody the idea that George wants to rule the world? Maybe he's just jacking around when he says his country will never, ever allow any other country to become as powerful as his country is. You know how guys talk? Maybe it's just guy talk that no country has anything to fear from his country as long as it opts for truth, justice, and the American way. And opens its borders to American trade. That aside, if we were shrinks and analyzed him would we wonder if all this tough talk, even if it was just talk, might mask something? Might mask war envy? The closest he ever got to a real war was peeking through the keyhole while his father had one. He did do a little heavy petting as a youth. While a real war was going on in Vietnam, an even bigger war than his father had in the Persian Gulf, he flew missions with the Texas Air National Guard that ensured Mexico didn't become a domino, and didn't fall. It could gnaw at a guy, stewing about how big his father's war was, and that the one time he happened to be, sort of, in a real war himself, he didn't go all the way. It might cause a guy's mental processes to flip into peculiar orbits. He might doubt that he's a real guy in a real guy's world. And it probably wouldn't help that Vice President Tweedledick is holed up in a mountain in Montana screeching, ``Do it, son! Show us you can outperform your Daddy,'' and Defence Secretary Tweedledon is frothing � "I mean, wouldn't it be fabulous'' � for you to bring the same democracy and progress to Iraq as you did to Afghanistan when you triumphed over a bunch of the nastiest boy scouts anybody ever heard of. Wasn't that a splendid victory? None of his friends will tell him. One of us should. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Slinger's column usually appears Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. <A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/";>www.ctrl.org</A> DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion & informational exchange list. Proselytizing propagandic screeds are unwelcomed. Substance�not soap-boxing�please! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory'�with its many half-truths, mis- directions and outright frauds�is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. 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