Trial by ordeal is illegal, self-evidently so. Law enforcement has principally 
two means of catching an offender: being coy, and putting pressure on them.

Being coy only works on unstable egoists. I could allege I don’t have much of 
an ego, but the FBI proved in the USS Iowa turret explosion that they just 
rationalize the psychological reasoning for a theory that other law enforcement 
agencies give them.

Putting pressure on them depends on the type and nature of pressure placed upon 
them. I could say I am involved in something that is Mr Big scale, but 
involving welfare, but that sounds too absurd no one would believe me. Right 
now I’m 80% dependent on my parents so the situation will continue, unless I 
can actually achieve employment with a blank resume.

Ultimately though, I’d like to get on with my life.

Still absurd: this guy is acting like he has a bit of autism in the social 
situation, so he’s fairly silent or untalkative, lets bother him by insinuating 
one of the absurd crimes he is accused of that we never plan on charging him 
for.

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