So the USS John McCain "just happened" to cross 2km into Russian waters in the Gulf of Peter the Great in the Far East, twiddling their thumbs and trying to stifle a cat-eatin grin...
To check if swimming bear was awake, I guess :) Turns out swimming bear was in fact, awake and ready for a laugh, but captains had to keep it professional as they got on comms: RU: [peers through binoculars whilst on comms] "Hey! What today kind of stupid be you?! US: [looks around] "What? Who, me??" RU: "Yes you, idiot! We not even turn off your GPS satellite today [chuckles] - you not only one with Israeli friends." US: "Ahem. Caugh caugh. Now, where exactly did you say we are right now?" RU: "I didn't you flea bitten jouvenile - which idiot made you capitán today?!." US: [sniggers] "Yo mama!" RU: "Laugh you! But important business - do not misunderstand, this not joke: You wan't Russian navy kiss my friend?" US: "Yo mama enough for me..." RU: "Listen idiot! Your starboard how you say, bee's DICK from my titanium reinforced bow." US: [gulps] "Hey hey, nope, definitely not wanting that Russian kiss my friend." [starts to steam to neutral waters] RU: "You make good choice today - might not be 1988, but 'yo mama' remembers it well. Hey hey." Rare Footage Shows Russian Warship 'Chasing' US Destroyer In Border Incident https://www.almasdarnews.com/article/video-footage-shows-russian-warship-following-us-destroyer-before-stopping-vessel/ https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/rare-footage-shows-russian-warship-chasing-us-destroyer-border-incident A reminder of 1988: USS Caron getting rammed by the Russians in the Black Sea - Feb 1988 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4jQhnXrWbg On Sat, Aug 29, 2020 at 02:50:44PM +1000, Zenaan Harkness wrote: > Another cypherpunks bedtime story: > > > Peek A Boo, Peek A Boo > > 'Swimming Bear and The Little Hummer Boy' > (C) Anonymous & Swimming Bear > > "Who's afraid o' the big friendly bear..." > > > "Hello boys" said the big friendly bear as he knocked on the back door. > > "What bear?!" said a surprised and mildly frightened hummer boy. > > "Just me, your local ICBM delivery agent" said Swimming Bear as he > peeked his enormous head above the black silky waters off the Alaskan > coast ... > > "But momma that's scary, I thought you said he was a friendly bear?!!" > > "Oh but he -is- a friendly bear my little hummer boy, he's just checking > the back door to make sure it's locked," said momma. > > "But momma, but momma, the bear has claws and an ICBM in its belly?!!" > > "Shush now little hummer boy, you sleep well now, momma needs to get > some milk and cookies for the bear, to keep his belly happy" said momma. > > "OK momma, I'll pray for the friendly bear," said the Little Hummer Boy > as his quickening heart settled down. > > "Sleep well my darling," said momma. > > > > American Fishing Vessels Spooked As Russian Nuclear Submarine Surfaces > Near Alaska > > https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/american-fishing-vessels-spooked-russian-nuclear-submarine-surfaces-near-alaska > > ... The military games took place in the Bering Sea and surprisingly > involved over 50 warships and some 40 aircraft. The significant size given > the location will surely be seen as a provocation by Washington, in a region > which over the past year has seen multiple NORAD jets scrambled to intercept > Russian long-range bombers coming too near Alaska's coast. > https://apnews.com/1f6c6dceba65e893aeeee9dfa814ef8f > > ... The HQ of @NORADCommand and @USNorthernCmd are closely monitoring > the Russian submarine that surfaced near Alaska today. We closely track > vessels of interest, including foreign military naval vessels, in our area of > responsibility. > — U.S. Northern Command (@USNorthernCmd) August 27, 2020 > > ... > > > > > On Tue, Aug 25, 2020 at 03:27:50PM +1000, Zenaan Harkness wrote: > > Ho ho, those crazy Russians, hey :D > > > > Video: Russia’s Rosatom Releases New Footage of Tsar Bomba, World’s Most > > Powerful Nuclear Bomb > > > > https://sputniknews.com/russia/202008241080266347-video-russias-rosatom-releases-new-footage-of-tsar-bomba-worlds-most-powerful-nuclear-bomb/ > > ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbC7BxXtOlo > > > > ... To give an idea of this bomb’s power, consider that the United > > States’ most powerful bomb, the Castle Bravo test in 1952, was at most 22 > > megatons, and the bomb that destroyed the Japanese city of Hiroshima in > > 1945 was just 16 kilotons - in other words, Tsar Bomba was about 1,325 > > times stronger. Its incredible power came from nuclear fusion, the same > > energy-producing reaction that powers the sun. > > > > ... > > > > > > No more vodka for YOU-ski - at least not while testing these puppies :D > > > > Speaking of vodka and Russians, very positive signs in the direction of > > health and happiness: > > > > No more vodka for young Russians > > https://www.rbth.com/lifestyle/328905-no-vodka-young-russians > > [Totally non-skanky pic of 2 young lasses not attached.] > > Russians are gradually losing one of their most famous > > characteristics: They’ve stopped drinking! Vodka and the average Russian > > used to be the closest of friends, but in recent years they’ve gone > > different ways. > > "It has already been two weeks since the start of my grand reality > > show/social experiment: 30 days without alcohol,” says 28-year-old YouTuber > > Yuri Khovansky into his webcam. “Two weeks ago I stopped drinking.” > > Khovansky enjoys a certain scandalous popularity and has a reputation for > > being a heavy drinker with a glass of beer in his hand at all times. Nearly > > 3.5 million subscribers watched his experiment in going sober. > > "First of all, sh**t, guys, these haves been the two fullest weeks > > of my life!" Khovansky begins his story about going without alcohol. Back > > then he did not know that he would end up staying sober for 90 days—three > > times longer than he had initially planned. > > Statistics > > Judging by the existing research, these days Russia as a whole > > consumes almost 80 percent less alcohol than it did five to seven years ago. > > ... > > > > > > > > Alcohol consumption in Russia > > https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_consumption_in_Russia > > According to a 2011 report by the World Health Organization, annual > > per capita consumption of alcohol in Russia was about 15.76 litres, the > > fourth-highest volume in Europe. It has dropped to less than 10 litres as > > of 2019.[1] > > > > > > > > Vodka no longer in top 50 items sold in Russian alcohol stores – time to > > retire tired & outdated Russian drinking stereotypes? > > 18 Aug, 2020 19:38 > > https://www.rt.com/russia/498339-vodka-popularity-russian-shops/ > > In the first seven months of 2020, Russians were less likely to buy > > vodka, preferring to purchase other drinks - primarily beer - in alcohol > > stores, according to the analytical department of cashback company > > CheckScan. > > > > By studying 130,000 receipts from two of Russia’s most popular > > liquor chains, ‘Krasnoe & Beloe’ and ‘Bristol’, the analysts discovered > > that Russians have turned towards beer as their beverage of choice. From > > January to July, the golden brew took the top spot in alcoholic rankings > > every single month, with the old Soviet-era staple, vodka, failing to even > > make the top 50. > > > > We are now a long way from 1980s and 1990s stereotypes about drunken > > Russian guzzling down the traditional hard liquor. Today, Russians drink > > less alcohol than Germans and the emerge of a cafe and pub culture has > > changed social habits, especially with craft beer becoming increasingly > > fashionable. > > > > Perhaps unsurprisingly, medical masks became the most popular item > > bought for 2020, selling at a faster rate than all alcoholic and > > non-alcoholic drinks. > > ... > > > > > > > > > > On Fri, Jul 24, 2020 at 07:13:54PM +1000, Zig the N.g wrote: > > > >From "explosive" reports (yeah, yeah...) just now see below, to spies > > > >purportedly running around with nerve-poison spray bottles (Novichok and > > > >the Skripal hoax), to entire legislative regimes built on the back of > > > >lies, theft and murder (the Magnitsky Act), the UK's Ministry of Truth > > > >and their lackeys in the cucked and compromised ABC of Australia are > > > >hard at work blaming Russians for everything in sight. > > > > > > Russians have supposedly 'not only come to town, they've meddled their > > > way to total domination of all of the West' and "must therefore be" the > > > cause of all our ills and our imminent demise, which is of course all so > > > farcical it could never be used even for a B-rated movie plot, yet we > > > continue to be fed this shit week after week, year after year! > > > > > > This is all so, so pathetic. Western "leaders", that is, any and all > > > politicians who are compromised, ought step down immediately, for the > > > possible redemption of their own Souls. > > > > > > > > > The latest circus show culminating in the last few days is the UK's own > > > demon rats casting endless aspersions against "RUSSIA!!!" (I know, I > > > know, "how truly original") - just check out this 'funny' headline (funny > > > if it weren't so shitty for our relationship with our Russian brothers): > > > > > > While Britain looked for terrorists under the bed, Russia took over > > > the house > > > Posted Yesterday at 3:28am, updated Yesterday at 10:42am > > > 2020-07-23 > > > > > > https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-07-23/uk-counterintelligence-focus-on-terrorism-not-russian-spies/12482108 > > > A new report exposes how Russian spies infiltrated the UK > > > > > > > > > … and plenty more (actually it's so weak, so pathetic and so bad, that > > > it's just sad): > > > > > > Long-awaited Russia report says UK Government failed to investigate > > > Kremlin interference in Brexit > > > > > > https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-07-21/uk-releases-report-into-russian-political-interference/12478766 > > > > > > > > > > > > You know, what's most pathetic is the West's eternal "need" to blame > > > someone, in almost all cases Putin, or Russia, or Putin's Russia, often > > > times "the Putin regime", and occasionally also "the Russian regime under > > > Putin", or often enough some combination of these. > > > > > > And what's most irritating about this latest bunch o' bullshit from the > > > Ministry's spin rats in the UK in the above "explosive report" and > > > endless droning "Putin dunnit" articles, is that the UK is perhaps the > > > world's largest money laundering capital, whilst proclaiming to wear a > > > halo (!): > > > > > > Dirty money or dirty politics? UK hypocrisy over ‘Russian oligarchs’ > > > https://www.rt.com/op-ed/424471-oligarchs-uk-russian-money/ > > > According to Russia’s Prosecutor General, 61 criminals who stole > > > up to $10 billion in Russia are enjoying life in the UK. Britain claims > > > to be concerned about ‘dirty money,’ but has rejected requests from > > > Moscow for extradition. > > > It was the financial heist of the century. The looting of Soviet > > > Russia’s wealth by a group of well-connected oligarchs in the 1990s > > > enriched a tiny few, but impoverished vast swathes of the country’s > > > population. The foundations for this massive, reverse-Robin-Hood > > > redistribution of wealth were laid with Gorbachev’s ‘restructuring’ > > > economic reforms of the late 80s. However, the process reached its peak > > > under Boris Yeltsin. > > > READ MORE: Russia to Britain: 'You can keep the criminals, but > > > return the money' > > > https://www.rt.com/business/423552-russia-extradition-money-uk/ > > > ... > > > > > > > > > Lé Mérchánt is Lé very Lé Háppí of course. Ahh, the wicked webs we weave > > > in the wicked web weaving Western web weaver's wick. > > > > > > It really is sad, and so we continue with our "one step forward, nine > > > tenths of a step back" reality for the time being. > > > > > > The nihilist "freedom from some external evil" is so, so tiresome. The > > > desperate "Western" yearning for evil regimes to oppose, which are so > > > dastardly (supposedly Putin), so malevolent towards "our values" > > > (supposedly Russia and her family friendly approach to advertising), so > > > irredeemably black and nefarious that they just might begin to make us > > > Westerners look 'OK', possibly may be acceptable to ourselves 'in > > > comparison'. > > > > > > Western "leaders" push out forced smiles and strained cackles of "muh > > > human rights" as though they actually know something about what human > > > rights actually are … > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tue, Jun 23, 2020 at 02:01:15PM +1000, Zig the N.g wrote: > > > > Who knew bears ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ could swim? > > > > > > > > ▄▌▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▌ > > > > ▄▄██▌█ TOOT TOOT > > > > ▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ ICBM DELIVERY ʕ⌐■_■ʔ > > > > ███████▌█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▌ > > > > ▀(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀ > > > > > > > > > > > > Impressive stuff: > > > > > > > > Russia's Newest Cutting Edge Submarine, the Super-Quiet, Nuke > > > > Carrying 'Prince Vladimir' > > > > > > > > https://russia-insider.com/en/cool-video-russias-newest-cutting-edge-submarine-supe-quiet-nuke-carrying-prince-vladimir/ri30674 > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > And a good collection of ASCII 'moticonicons - check out #825 : > > > > > > > > List of All ASCII Emoticons > > > > https://upli.st/l/list-of-all-ascii-emoticons > > > > > > > > https://yandex.com/images/search?text=russian%20ascii%20tart > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ----- Forwarded message ----- > > > > > For some reason, American military personnel always seem to be > > > > > looking for "more action", actually I mean "more paperwork". HA! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > US wingman to pilot: "Do NOT look directly up!" > > > > > > > > > > US pilot looks directly up: "OHH, SHEEIT!" > > > > > > > > > > US Wingman: "More f#@kin paperwork!" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Russkies Go Wild, inverted in fact. Literally inverted, dancing the > > > > > midday clouds. Yeah, baby! :D > > > > > > > > > > Gringos gettin' "really quite frustrated" and the Pentagon "blasted" > > > > > the Russian show-off "Red menace's" for "activity", apparently > > > > > activity in the skies of the Mediterranean sea :D > > > > > > > > > > [suitable pics in original article, not attached] > > > > > > > > > > On this particular occasion, the Russian pilot considered sharing his > > > > > 4 litre "8 shots" vodka bottle with the Americans, but figured the > > > > > wind force on his airplane canopy might make it hard to hold that > > > > > canopy open - at 900 km per hour. Also, passing a vodka bottle > > > > > between jet planes whilst inverted may have caused some of the vodka > > > > > to spill, which was an intolerable likelihood. Apparently. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Russian Jet Buzzes US Navy Plane In High-Speed 'Inverted Maneuver' > > > > > Over Mediterranean > > > > > > > > > > https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/russian-jet-buzzes-us-navy-plane-high-speed-inverted-maneuver-over-mediterranean > > > > > > > > > > .. “The U.S. aircraft was operating consistent with > > > > > international law and did not provoke this Russian activity,” the > > > > > statement added. > > > > > .. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yeah, yeah, fill in your paperwork already :) :) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Thu, Feb 20, 2020 at 11:43:41AM +1100, Zig the N.g wrote: > > > > > > Gets a little crazy on the roads o' Raqqa, muh stucco muffas :) > > > > > > > > > > > > How it truly went down: > > > > > > > > > > > > US0: "These fuckin' Syrians put a fuckin' country round our oil > > > > > > field - how DARE they!" > > > > > > > > > > > > US1: "Yeah, fuckin' sand niggers!" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > [Russkie's literally start to approach on highway, from behind.] > > > > > > > > > > > > RU0: "Ho, boys! Amerikanski oil "protectors" ahead. What do we?" > > > > > > > > > > > > RU1: "Ohoh! Drift this Tigr, baby - We's Baaaack!!" > > > > > > > > > > > > [serious literal military vehicle fast and furious ensues - see > > > > > > links below] > > > > > > > > > > > > [Russkies take first hummer, start hunting down second...] > > > > > > > > > > > > US0: "Muthufuckas! We got Russkies, lads, hang on tight!" > > > > > > > > > > > > [US2-4 happy they remembered "low frequency protection unit" > > > > > > adult diapers this morning.] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > RU0: "YEEEEE HAAAAAAW FIRETRUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!!" > > > > > > > > > > > > US1: [death gripping handle bar] "Oahhhh shiiiiit - why you > > > > > > driving offroaoad, buddy?!#!" > > > > > > > > > > > > US0: "Don't be a fuckin nigger! I think she'll make it - roadside > > > > > > don't look too fuckin rough." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > RU1: [grinning madly out side window at US hummer boys] > > > > > > "Baby, yeah! Lose you we will!" > > > > > > [to Ru0:] "SHIT! Watch locals, brutha!" > > > > > > > > > > > > [Russians narrowly miss a local who jumps out of the way] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > RU0: "May be lose them, but anuddah Oil thief pass we must!" > > > > > > > > > > > > RU1: "NO breaks, brutha! Do your copyright 'Boris Oil Thief > > > > > > Wedgy' manouver! Baby, yeah!" > > > > > > > > > > > > RU0: "Got it, brutha!" [hits accelerator hard, wedges all 3 > > > > > > vehicles as they come to screaming halt] > > > > > > [poetic license, not quite what actually happened, but part of > > > > > > upcoming movie script] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > US0: "HEY MUTHAFUCKAS WHAT THE FUCKIN FUCK ARE YA DOING!" > > > > > > > > > > > > US1: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK - Fucking PAPERWORK! FUCK YOU RUSSKIE!!" > > > > > > > > > > > > RU0: [cracks a 4L vodka bottle] "Here, drink have you, brutha!" > > > > > > > > > > > > RU1: [with huge cat eatin grin] "Awww, done cry little oil thief! > > > > > > Vodka take your paperwork away - HA HA HAAAA!" > > > > > > > > > > > > US0+1: "FUCK!!!" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > [See second 'tube below for Syrian villagers warmly welcoming > > > > > > American "democracy bringers" - with multiple gun shots :D] > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ----- Forwarded message ----- > > > > > > > > > > > > Date: Thu, 20 Feb 2020 11:12:28 +1100 > > > > > > Subject: Raqqa drift! Oh yeah :D > > > > > > > > > > > > Enjoy ;) > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/bizarre-road-rage-among-superpowers-incident-syria-caught-film > > > > > > > > > > > > ----- End forwarded message ----- > > > > >
