I want to assure my birdbrains that I, Elon Musk, have spoken with the Prime Minister in London and the Chairman in Beijing and offered my services on an impartial basis. . .
With its servers that run 24 hours a day and satellite facilities linking every last person. . . Why did I do it you ask? The answer is simple. Power. The power to illuminate the far corners of the globe - not for higher profits - but for higher understanding between the people of this great planet. And what do I get in return? Worldwide domination, complete, utter, worldwide domination, but not over governments or ideologies, but tyranny and isolation. . . So tonight I give to you my Declaration of Principles, a promise to the men and women of this planet, my brothers and sisters whom I so humbly serve. I promise to tweet the news without fear or failure. I promise to be a force for good in this world, fighting injustice, crushing intolerance, battling inhumanity, striking a blow for freedom at every turn. Yes, that is the goal of the Felon Media Group and empire.
