I just found this on the net...it's a real hoot Well, like many people here I received my census LONG form in the mail. I thought to myself, "if they are going to try to make me fill this out, I'm gonna play with them for a bit." I picked up the phone and called the Census help line. After working my way through the press 1 and press 6 digital "hoops" I finally got to my objective...a live operator. In my best Liberian accent (developed by having a close Liberian college friend), I began to explain to the young man on the phone that I had just received my long form and had some questions... it went like this: (If I get the time, I will upload the audio later... using my answering machine I "Tripped" the call) "Hello dare, my name is Lewis January, I am from Liberia" "yes sir, how may I help you" " I have just received my Census tax form and I do not understand why you send me soo many forms in the mail, I am trying to learn to read English but this paper you sent, I do not understand so I call you help line" "What is your area code?" "49444" "No, your area code?" "49444" "What language do you speak again, we have over 50 different forms and I can send you one of them that you can read" "Liberian" [shuffle of paper heard] "Sir, is that like arabic?" "No, it is a language from my country in Africa. I have been here 3 years. I do not know why you send me this book. Do I send it to you with my tax forms?" " Oh no sir, this is a different form..a..um different agency" "I do not understand, you send me my tax form, does this go with my tax form for me to send to you?" "No, we take a census to learn how many people are in the United States" "Do you not count me at the airport when I come and go? I came in an airplane, I walk through the terminal and you count me then, no?" "No, we need this form, it will help us to help you get things like new roads and the things you need from the government" "I do not read the English. This will take me much time. I must take a day from work, do you pay me for that?" Umm, no we cannot do that, no we do not do that, no sir." "I do not understand, you ask me to fill all these forms and you do not pay me. I will take a day off to do this for you, but you will pay me yes?" "Sorry sir we can't pay you. This is required by the government. You have to do this" "But I do not read English. I can speak yes? You understand me yes? Can I give you my answers now on the phone?" "Sir, I will certainly assist you with the form in any way I can. We can start with how many people live with you at your home?" "Do I have to tell this? I do not know if I should do this?" "The information is only used to help the government help you and the people that live in your community." "14..yes I believe 14 in this side of home. Other side is 16, but they do not talk to me and I do not have them to eat. They speak something else, the do not smell like people, and came not long ago on a trailer truck" "Wow, um, do you have the form in front of you?" "Yes, do you say you not pay me for to fill this form out? I am looking to go on disabled ability so I can have time, does that sound good? My sister, she has this book that you can get that makes you food at grocery store, you give to them and they give food. Can you send me one for me to fill form out, yes?" "No sir, we don't pay you to do this form" "So if I can to fill out form I send with my tax form to you yes?" "No sir, there is an envelope.." "Yes, I see it goes to Internal Revue Service..you have been soo helpful to me, I will take next day off and get form to you by April 15th. Good bye I see you at grocery." Click..another happy census customer! ________________________________________________________________ YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET! Juno now offers FREE Internet Access! Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.
