Rohit (whom I know slightly) is too much a gentleman to suggest that he may be being hit due to racial profiling.
Peter Trei > ---------- > From: R. A. Hettinga[SMTP:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > Reply To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Sent: Sunday, November 25, 2001 9:38 AM > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Subject: Ridiculous Airline Security Story N+1 and N+2... > > > --- begin forwarded text > > > Status: U > Delivered-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2001 22:44:04 -0800 > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > From: Rohit Khare <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Subject: Ridiculous Airline Security Story N+1 and N+2... > Sender: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > List-Id: Friends of Rohit Khare <fork.xent.com> > > Executive Summary: I am near my limit of anger with the "random", > "neutral" FAA passenger profiling algorithm. I have every reason to > believe some programmer has coded some strictures into it which would > truly offend American civil society if translated from mathematics > back into the ugly politics from whence it came. > > Soon after my last installment, I had to turn back around and fly out > of Denver. They made me X-ray my *shoes*... This time, the problem > was *too much* time on their hands. The second story is how I missed > the last flight back home on Thanksgiving eve because the security > supervisor wouldn't show up to process me at the gate in time. That > snowballed into a series of Catch-22 situations trying to find a lost > pair of glasses along the way. > > First, Denver. A tip on avoiding the Disneyland-like lines at the two > main X-ray posts -- even though, strictly speaking, that's an insult > to Disneyland, since even they've instituted a take-a-number pass > system for the most popular rides. > > Rather than take the train to one of the outlying concourses, ignore > the main signage and *walk* to Terminal A over a bridge on the > ticketing level. That's the X-ray post to Continental, British, etc. > Much less popular, even though many a savvy traveler knew that was > the way around United's silly carryon sizer templates (Contintental's > machines don't use them). Then take the train to wherever you really > need to get to. > > A co-worker and I arrived at DIA together, and I was able to purchase > a new ticket, and even with the foolishness of fellow business > travelers in stocking-feet waiting for their shoes back, I caught up > with him in the same train car... he spent the entire time in United > lines. > > Now, for the real outrage. > > Today, I was warned about massive Thanksgiving delays at Sea-Tac, so > I cut short a beer with a buddy in Bellevue to race back two and a > half hours in advance. I returned the car, picked up a boarding pass > from a pliant robot kiosk, and got through security in a wink. Two > hours in advance... no problem, right? > > Well, I was a selectee, presumably since it was a one-way ticket. So > I sat through yet another embarassing tearing-apart of my bags, and > this time they found a pocket screwdriver. A promotional pen-style > screwdriver that I've had for ten years (it's a NeXT repair shop :-) > > 1. They think you are not allowed to board with a three-inch, > 1/8-inch wide screwdriver. > > 2. You are not allowed to ask the aircrew to hold it for you on the > flight. > > 3. You are not allowed to leave the selectee table until a "GSC" > supervisor comes to look it over. > > At this point, there's twenty minutes left.... tick-tock... now, the > flight is almost completely boarded. You're still waiting. And now > you suddenly realize you've lost your $400 prescription sunglasses. > > 4. You keep all your metal -- everything -- in your jacket at all > times, so that you can x-ray a jacket rather than begin to empty out > pockets. Your sunglasses have fallen out at some checkpoint. > > At this point, you start tracing back your steps. It's 7 minutes or > so to push-back. > > 5. If you leave the selectee table, you will have to be searched all > over again when you return to the gate > > 6. They do not have walkie-talkies to ask security if your glasses > were stuck in the X-ray tunnel > > 7. See #3: You are not allowed to leave at all until the mythical GSC > arrives. > > Finally, a GSC arrives. Two minutes or so to departure, you haven't > been given any chance to run down and solve the mystery. > > 8. The screwdriver must be confiscated or bags must be checked. > > 9. Just because you have been flying with it all week means nothing. > "We're supposed to randomly change what the FAA is looking for every > day". Parse that, if you dare! > > 10. Any carry-on bag may be gate-checked *except* those containing > "forbidden carry-on items". Catch-22 #1. > > So now you're finally free to run back to the X-ray post and miss your > flight. > > 11. With about fifteen uniformed personnel of various stripes > (National Guard, Argenbright, Alaska, and United), none of the first > half-dozen people you ask claims to know about lost articles. > > 12. Before you can find a supervisor, the GSC has wandered back to > warn them you are carrying a screwdriver. > > 13. So at this point, instead of any sympathy for a harried traveler > asking for a supervisor, it's time for a lecture about "having > committed two federal crimes, bringing a forbidden item into a > screening area, lying about it to a ticket agent, two fines at > $11,000 each" -- which they take the pompous time to warn you adds up > to "a potential total fine of $22,000" since you're not paying enough > attention to the supercillious bastard who won't admit to knowing who > to ask about lost articles. > > Note that A) you are not allowed to leave your bags unaccompanied; > and B) the only way for a solo traveler to speak to a security > supervisor is to enter the screening area. Catch-22 #2. > > 14. Sufficiently alarmed, I am ordered to walk around, get back in > line, and wait to be escorted back to the *front* of the metal > detector to be handed my bags back. > > At this point, my interest is in going back to the Rental car desk > and asking if I left the glasses there. At no point has anyone > volunteered a back-up flight alternative for how I might every make > it back to Northern California tonight. > > Ultimately, when rebooking my ticket for a later flight to SFO, I > mention that I missed my flight because as a selectee, the personnel > needed to inspect me were not available in time. I get snapped at for > suggesting I was at all inconvenienced. And I'm marked as a selectee > again. > > And when I finally wade through security for the fourth time, the > same super is there to claim that the glasses must have been swept up > to Port of Seattle Lost and Found. But that he doesn't know what > their phone number is. > > 15. Seattle is the only airport in the world without white courtesy > telephones :-) > > But while looking for those phones, the wandering GSC comes back > around and huddles with the supervisor, staring at me. She's > obviously asking him how I could have come back in without having > checked my bag - and my dreaded screwdriver. Gingerly, they begin to > follow me back out of the screening area. I decide to placate their > fears that I got back through their infallible dragnet with > contraband. > > "Oh, I mailed it to myself, first-class air-mail!" > > ... > > Clever solutions aside, the outcome of this story is that a very > harried, very frequent traveling US citizen was at no point treated > like an innocent person anxious to solve a problem. Instead, every > contact is an opportunity to be treated like a suspect criminal. In > three hours, I was patted down four times, had my bags X-rayed twice, > hand-searched twice more, and went through metal detectors six times. > > The irony of it all is that the selectee program was created by the > FAA for those passengers who choose NOT to provide photo > identification as a matter of right. > > CAPPS, the Computer-Assisted Passenger Profiling System, deserves to > be sued out of existence. I'm almost ready to join the ACLU. These > so-called "confidential" criteria are not convincingly as neutral as > the cheery pink "You have been randomly selected"! flyers in your > ticket indicate. And the time-filling additional random searches by > the gate security supervisor were even more visibly biased towards > brown young men. Even one Army soldier on Thanksgiving leave. > > I am sick of being treated as guilty until proven innocent! > > Not least by such a patently fallible and placebo-driven security > system... The Feds will be *such* an improvement. -- not! > > Yours, > Rohit > > > http://xent.com/mailman/listinfo/fork > > --- end forwarded text > > > -- > ----------------- > R. A. Hettinga <mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED]> > The Internet Bearer Underwriting Corporation <http://www.ibuc.com/> > 44 Farquhar Street, Boston, MA 02131 USA > "... however it may deserve respect for its usefulness and antiquity, > [predicting the end of the world] has not been found agreeable to > experience." -- Edward Gibbon, 'Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire' >
